Before I Let You In by Jenny Blackhurst Page B

they were together, I just know.’
    ‘You just know.’ Eleanor suddenly felt every minute’s sleep she’d lost in the last twelve weeks weighing down on her. She just wanted to curl up under a blanket and not have to think about what Karen was trying to tell her. ‘It isn’t like you to embellish, Karen. If there’s something else, you need to tell me now. This isn’t some teenage boyfriend; this is my husband. The father of my children. I need more than just “I know.”’
    Her best friend sat on her sofa, cuddling her little boy and looking as though there was so much more she wanted to say. Why was she holding back? Was she protecting Eleanor? Because if she had solid evidence, Eleanor needed to hear it. She’d never been one for holding on to faint hope – she needed a definitive reason to believe her husband was betraying her, because she couldn’t afford to be wrong.
    ‘No, there’s nothing else. But it was the way they were together; there can’t be an innocent explanation for it. I’m sorry, Els, I know you don’t need this now, but I couldn’t not tell you. Do you hate me?’
    Eleanor couldn’t bring herself to answer, the question was so ridiculous. The floor had just been ripped out from under her, and all Karen could worry about was whether she was still going to be speaking to her at the end of it.
    She stood and crossed over to take her son from the arms of the other woman. ‘I don’t hate you, Karen, I just don’t know what to think. You come in here with literally nothing other than “the way they were together” and expect me to – what? What should I do now?’ She paced back and forth, instinctively rocking Noah on her hip although he wasn’t making so much as a grizzle.
    ‘I don’t know. I thought maybe you already suspected, that this would be enough to make up your mind.’ Karen bit her lip. She looked as though she was already regretting her decision to tell Eleanor what she’d seen.
    ‘Well I didn’t. And now I’m supposed to confront him with “Karen saw you touch a woman’s arm”? Let’s be honest, even if he was having an affair, all he’d have to do would be to say you were wrong, it wasn’t him you’d seen, or that she was a work colleague, and I’d have to believe him anyway. I can’t risk throwing away my marriage over your hunch.’
    ‘So you’re admitting it’s possible?’
    ‘No! Look, we might be a bit tetchy with one another, but Adam and I are solid – when would he even find time for an affair?’
    Even as she was saying it, her mind was showing her a slideshow of all the times he’d been late home from work recently, or out with friends. She allowed herself to feel the pain of the image of her husband touching another woman, kissing another woman. No, she couldn’t let herself go down that road. Not on the basis of him standing next to some woman in a jewellery shop.
    Karen sighed. ‘I’m sorry. I had to tell you what I saw, but you’re right, you need more. Maybe I should have followed him, or confronted him or something, but I panicked. You know your husband better than me; there was probably a totally innocent explanation for what I saw.’
    Eleanor knew instantly that Karen didn’t mean a word of what she had just said. Something had made her believe unequivocally that Adam was seeing someone else and she was refusing to say what. But why tell her anything if she couldn’t tell her everything?
    ‘Look, I appreciate you letting me know what you saw. I know you, and I know you wouldn’t have said anything unless you really felt like you had to. Do I believe Adam is having an affair? No, not really. But I also believe that you thought that strongly enough to tell me. So I’ll keep an eye on things, pay closer attention to what’s going on. But that’s all I can do really, without any proof.’
    Karen stood up, clearly taking the hint from Eleanor’s tone of voice that the conversation was over. ‘Will you be okay? Because I