by my side through this.
“Bennett?”
“Yeah Han?” She looked
worried. I reached out to comfort her but she sat up, pacing around the small
all white hospital room.
“When I told him…. When I
told Gray that you were pregnant he was ecstatic. He asked me a million times
if I was joking. He was telling everyone he ran into, on his way to class. I
don’t think I have ever heard him that happy. When I started to cry, he got
very serious very fast. I didn’t want to tell him what you did. I couldn’t, but
he forced me to. When I told him that you ‘took care of it’ because you thought
he wouldn’t want this, well, let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.”
I couldn’t look at Hannah as
she told me about Gray’s reaction. My heart began breaking all over again. He did want this baby and I selfishly took that away from him. I stared out the window
at the overcast sky.
“Bennett?” Her voice cut
through my revelry like a knife.
“When I told him you were
bleeding and I needed to call 911, he told me to just let you be. He said that
you should have to pay for taking his child’s life.”
Hannah threw herself onto
the corner of my bed, balling. “Oh Hannah, this isn’t your fault. Gray is who
he is. I knew what I was doing.” I ran my fingers through her hair trying to
get her to calm down.
“But...if I never would have
told him, you guys would be fine.” She barely got the words out between sobs.
“Hannah, this is not your
fault. I did this. How could I have been so stupid? I should have
known that he would’ve wanted to keep it. He’s never going to speak to me
again, is he?” I already knew the answer, but I needed to hear her say it. Of
course he wasn’t. Who would want to be with someone who could do something like
that?
Hannah dried her tears and
slid into the bed next to me. We held each other for a long time. I knew that I
had lost Gray forever. I couldn’t lose her too. I held her closer, not wanting
to let go. The doctor came in a little while later. He explained to me that I
had a severe hemorrhage caused by taking too many of the pink pills at once. I
hung my head in embarrassment. I just wanted to go home, curl up in my bed, and
die.
“Now, you can’t go home just
yet. You lost quite a bit of blood and we had to give you a transfusion. You’re
pretty lucky, your friend here just happens to have the same blood type.” He
winked at Hannah and she smiled. “So looks like you will be with us for at
least a few more nights. Are you in any pain?”
He kept checking my monitors
and IV drip, and I wondered if he was even listening to me. “Actually, I am.” I
sighed.
“Okay well I will send the
nurse back in with some pain medicine. No need to worry though, we have the
bleeding under control. As long as you do okay through the night you should be
good to go the day after tomorrow.”
I gave him a halfhearted
grin and replied with a, ‘sounds good’ and a ‘thank you,’ and then he was gone.
I looked at the big black clock on the wall, surprised that it was already 8:00
at night. Man, I must have been out for quite awhile. I continued to watch
Hannah pace across the room, while thoughts of Gray ran through my head. I had
betrayed the one guy that swore he would always be there for me. We could have had a
family. I broke what was left of us and I knew the repercussions were going to
be catastrophic.
“Hey Han?” I waited for her
to stop her absent-minded pacing before I continued. When she came to a
complete stop I finished. “What would you say to moving into a small house or
apartment with me, near campus?”
Her mouth fell open wide in
shock. “Are you serious? But, you love your house.” I could see that she was
thinking about my parents.
“Truth be told, I have been
thinking about it a lot lately. I mean I can’t keep living in the past. My
parents are gone. Living in their house isn’t going to
“Bennett?”
“Yeah Han?” She looked
worried. I reached out to comfort her but she sat up, pacing around the small
all white hospital room.
“When I told him…. When I
told Gray that you were pregnant he was ecstatic. He asked me a million times
if I was joking. He was telling everyone he ran into, on his way to class. I
don’t think I have ever heard him that happy. When I started to cry, he got
very serious very fast. I didn’t want to tell him what you did. I couldn’t, but
he forced me to. When I told him that you ‘took care of it’ because you thought
he wouldn’t want this, well, let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.”
I couldn’t look at Hannah as
she told me about Gray’s reaction. My heart began breaking all over again. He did want this baby and I selfishly took that away from him. I stared out the window
at the overcast sky.
“Bennett?” Her voice cut
through my revelry like a knife.
“When I told him you were
bleeding and I needed to call 911, he told me to just let you be. He said that
you should have to pay for taking his child’s life.”
Hannah threw herself onto
the corner of my bed, balling. “Oh Hannah, this isn’t your fault. Gray is who
he is. I knew what I was doing.” I ran my fingers through her hair trying to
get her to calm down.
“But...if I never would have
told him, you guys would be fine.” She barely got the words out between sobs.
“Hannah, this is not your
fault. I did this. How could I have been so stupid? I should have
known that he would’ve wanted to keep it. He’s never going to speak to me
again, is he?” I already knew the answer, but I needed to hear her say it. Of
course he wasn’t. Who would want to be with someone who could do something like
that?
Hannah dried her tears and
slid into the bed next to me. We held each other for a long time. I knew that I
had lost Gray forever. I couldn’t lose her too. I held her closer, not wanting
to let go. The doctor came in a little while later. He explained to me that I
had a severe hemorrhage caused by taking too many of the pink pills at once. I
hung my head in embarrassment. I just wanted to go home, curl up in my bed, and
die.
“Now, you can’t go home just
yet. You lost quite a bit of blood and we had to give you a transfusion. You’re
pretty lucky, your friend here just happens to have the same blood type.” He
winked at Hannah and she smiled. “So looks like you will be with us for at
least a few more nights. Are you in any pain?”
He kept checking my monitors
and IV drip, and I wondered if he was even listening to me. “Actually, I am.” I
sighed.
“Okay well I will send the
nurse back in with some pain medicine. No need to worry though, we have the
bleeding under control. As long as you do okay through the night you should be
good to go the day after tomorrow.”
I gave him a halfhearted
grin and replied with a, ‘sounds good’ and a ‘thank you,’ and then he was gone.
I looked at the big black clock on the wall, surprised that it was already 8:00
at night. Man, I must have been out for quite awhile. I continued to watch
Hannah pace across the room, while thoughts of Gray ran through my head. I had
betrayed the one guy that swore he would always be there for me. We could have had a
family. I broke what was left of us and I knew the repercussions were going to
be catastrophic.
“Hey Han?” I waited for her
to stop her absent-minded pacing before I continued. When she came to a
complete stop I finished. “What would you say to moving into a small house or
apartment with me, near campus?”
Her mouth fell open wide in
shock. “Are you serious? But, you love your house.” I could see that she was
thinking about my parents.
“Truth be told, I have been
thinking about it a lot lately. I mean I can’t keep living in the past. My
parents are gone. Living in their house isn’t going to
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