choked down
the lump that in my throat. There was no way I was going to let myself break
down in front of him.
“Do you want me to go? I’m
sorry I didn’t mean to intrude, honest. I was just getting ready to leave for
the night, when they brought you in. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,
that’s all.”
He started to lift himself
off of the corner of my bed when I grabbed his wrist. “Please, don’t go. It’s
not you. Thank you for the flowers.” I blushed, feeling like an asshole for not
saying thank you to begin with.
“Oh these?” He held up the
vase full of flowers. “Oh, these aren’t for you. There for the little old lady
next door.”
For a second I thought he
was completely serious, until that cocky little grin of his decided to make
another appearance. “Gotcha.” He let out a loud amused laugh and I laughed
right along with him. Once our laughter died down, I heard Hannah clearing her
throat in the doorway.
Raylon got up off the bed
and set the flowers on the small nightstand, between my bed and bathroom. “I
better go. I didn’t mean to impose. Bye Bennett. Bye Hannah.” He turned on his
heel and headed towards the doorway. I don’t know what came over me, but I
couldn’t let him leave. Especially, not knowing when I would ever see him
again.
“Wait, Raylon?” He turned
with one arm pushing against the doorframe. Every muscle was enlarged and I
completely forgot what I was going to say.
“Yes?” He looked intense and
serious.
I twisted my hands together,
trying to find the right words to say. “Could you just give Hannah and me a
little bit, then could you…. umm… could you come back?” I could feel me cheeks
turning ruby red. I tried to hide my face with my greasy-unwashed-hospital-bed
hair, but to no avail.
“Sure. I’ll be back, around
nine o’clock, when my shift ends. Sound good?” His eyes were peering straight
into me. Something about this guy made my heart beat elevate. I yearned for him
to touch me again.
“Yeah, that sounds good.
I’ll see you then. Oh and thanks again for my flowers, they’re beautiful.” I
smiled a wide smile as he winked and turned to leave.
“What the hell was that all
about?” Hannah was giggling as she playfully smacked my knee.
“Honestly, I have no idea. I
was waking up, trying to remember where I was and then he was just there in the
doorway, looking all good and shit.” I let out a small giggle.
“Well honey, he has got it
bad for you.” She smirked.
I play punched her in her
shoulder. “Hannah, knock it off. I’m with Gray. I shouldn’t even be talking to
Raylon.” I lowered my eyes in shame.
Her hand grabbed me by the
chin and forced me to look up at her. “And just so you know, I’m not too happy
with your boyfriend at the moment.”
“Speaking of which, why did
you tell him Han? You promised me.” I had to bite back the angry tears
threatening to betray me.
Her head fell, knowing how
disappointed I was. “I’m really sorry Bennett but he had a right to
know. Although now I wish I would’ve just listened to you. You were right
Bennett, he is so not ready to be a dad.” I swear I heard her whisper
‘asshole’ under her breath, but I ignored it.
“Is he flying out to see me
at least?” My heart filled with hope.
“No,” she whispered.
And just like that, my heart
broke into a million pieces. This time I let the tears flow freely, I wasn’t
holding anything back anymore. Her arms wrapped around me, but I pushed her
off. I wiped the tears with the palms of my hands and sat up a little bit
straighter.
“What the hell is wrong with
him? You know what? I don’t care. There is no excuse in this world that would
even come close to making me feel bad for him. ” I grabbed a tissue from the box next to my bed and
dabbed away the last falling tear. I refused to cry over someone who couldn’t
be man enough to be
the lump that in my throat. There was no way I was going to let myself break
down in front of him.
“Do you want me to go? I’m
sorry I didn’t mean to intrude, honest. I was just getting ready to leave for
the night, when they brought you in. I just wanted to make sure you were okay,
that’s all.”
He started to lift himself
off of the corner of my bed when I grabbed his wrist. “Please, don’t go. It’s
not you. Thank you for the flowers.” I blushed, feeling like an asshole for not
saying thank you to begin with.
“Oh these?” He held up the
vase full of flowers. “Oh, these aren’t for you. There for the little old lady
next door.”
For a second I thought he
was completely serious, until that cocky little grin of his decided to make
another appearance. “Gotcha.” He let out a loud amused laugh and I laughed
right along with him. Once our laughter died down, I heard Hannah clearing her
throat in the doorway.
Raylon got up off the bed
and set the flowers on the small nightstand, between my bed and bathroom. “I
better go. I didn’t mean to impose. Bye Bennett. Bye Hannah.” He turned on his
heel and headed towards the doorway. I don’t know what came over me, but I
couldn’t let him leave. Especially, not knowing when I would ever see him
again.
“Wait, Raylon?” He turned
with one arm pushing against the doorframe. Every muscle was enlarged and I
completely forgot what I was going to say.
“Yes?” He looked intense and
serious.
I twisted my hands together,
trying to find the right words to say. “Could you just give Hannah and me a
little bit, then could you…. umm… could you come back?” I could feel me cheeks
turning ruby red. I tried to hide my face with my greasy-unwashed-hospital-bed
hair, but to no avail.
“Sure. I’ll be back, around
nine o’clock, when my shift ends. Sound good?” His eyes were peering straight
into me. Something about this guy made my heart beat elevate. I yearned for him
to touch me again.
“Yeah, that sounds good.
I’ll see you then. Oh and thanks again for my flowers, they’re beautiful.” I
smiled a wide smile as he winked and turned to leave.
“What the hell was that all
about?” Hannah was giggling as she playfully smacked my knee.
“Honestly, I have no idea. I
was waking up, trying to remember where I was and then he was just there in the
doorway, looking all good and shit.” I let out a small giggle.
“Well honey, he has got it
bad for you.” She smirked.
I play punched her in her
shoulder. “Hannah, knock it off. I’m with Gray. I shouldn’t even be talking to
Raylon.” I lowered my eyes in shame.
Her hand grabbed me by the
chin and forced me to look up at her. “And just so you know, I’m not too happy
with your boyfriend at the moment.”
“Speaking of which, why did
you tell him Han? You promised me.” I had to bite back the angry tears
threatening to betray me.
Her head fell, knowing how
disappointed I was. “I’m really sorry Bennett but he had a right to
know. Although now I wish I would’ve just listened to you. You were right
Bennett, he is so not ready to be a dad.” I swear I heard her whisper
‘asshole’ under her breath, but I ignored it.
“Is he flying out to see me
at least?” My heart filled with hope.
“No,” she whispered.
And just like that, my heart
broke into a million pieces. This time I let the tears flow freely, I wasn’t
holding anything back anymore. Her arms wrapped around me, but I pushed her
off. I wiped the tears with the palms of my hands and sat up a little bit
straighter.
“What the hell is wrong with
him? You know what? I don’t care. There is no excuse in this world that would
even come close to making me feel bad for him. ” I grabbed a tissue from the box next to my bed and
dabbed away the last falling tear. I refused to cry over someone who couldn’t
be man enough to be
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