Beautiful Monster by Kate McCaffrey Page A

them stand in front of the mantelpiece to take a string of photos. ‘Take the coat off, Tess, so we can see the whole dress,’ her mum says. But Tess looks at the clock.
    â€˜Mum, we’ve gotta get going. The car will be at Julie’s, and Jordan’s dad is waiting.’
    â€˜I’ll make sure we have some photos at the dance,’ Jordan promises.
    Julie’s parents allow them a couple of drinks as they pose for photos. The girls admire each other’s dresses; the boys stand together in their suits, trying to drink as much as they can before the dance. Tess pulls her hands up inside the coat. It’s so cold in here. Don’t Julie’s parents have heating?
    When they load into the Hummer and head for town, Tess sits next to Jordan, feeling a tiny bit heady from the champagne. She couldn’t eat a thing today, for fear of not being able to zip up the dress. And now all she can think about is food. She tries not to think. Everyone is talking loudly. Chloe and Brian sit next to Maddie and Jake. She looks across at Sharla, who smiles back, her hand lightly resting on Tim’s leg. It’s hot in the Hummer. She hopes she’s not sweating.
    Jordan helps her out and holds her hand as they walk in. The staff greet them, commenting on how beautiful the girls look, how smart the boys are. It’s warm in the ballroom too. And there is a cloak check.
    â€˜I’ll take your coat,’ Jordan says.
    Tess holds on to the cuffs tightly with her fingers. Her coat. She feels like she is being stripped bare, exposed and naked in front of the school. But around her all the girls are shrugging out of their wraps and coats. She slides hers off her shoulders. ‘Thanks,’ she says and sees the look of surprise in his eyes. Oh God, he thinks I’m fat, the voice in her head whispers. Now she feels cold, but Jordan has checked her coat and walked back. He places a hand on her back. She’s sure he’s feeling her fat rolls.
    â€˜We’re over there,’ he says, leading her to their table.
    She feels all eyes on her. Why are they staring? Gawping at her like she’s some freak. Some fat freak, that voice whispers. You’ve done it now, Tess, shown them all your full glory.
    She sits at the table, talking to some of the other girls, but she can’t concentrate. They are ripping open the white bread rolls. She smells the dough in the air. Little foil packets of butter are being opened. She watches pieces of white and yellow go up to mouths. Empty carbs and pure fat. Hands wave, crumbs scatter. Talk and laughter. Tess salivates. Greasy trails on shiny lips. Her bread roll remains untouched.
    â€˜Tess, this is yours.’ Jordan points to her roll.
    â€˜No thanks,’ she says, smiling weakly. ‘I don’t like white bread. You have it.’
    â€˜You have to eat something.’ He looks concerned.
    â€˜I will.’ She tries to laugh. Why does he want her to get fatter? Would he still like her then? ‘I’m waiting for the meal.’
    But of course when the pumpkin soup comes, she decides it’s been made with chicken stock. She explains this to Jordan; as a vegetarian she just can’t eat anything that comes from animals. Is he aware of the way they kill chickens? She regrets that comment when the main dish—stuffed chicken—is served and she watches him unable to enjoy the dish. She also has to explain to him that her vegetarian meal is too salty and so she can’t eat it. Finally, after dessert—a chocolate mousse, of which she allows a teaspoon to pass her lips—the meal is over. Thankfully, the torture has ended. She pushes her chair back to go to the toilets.
    She’s sure she hears whispers when she walks past the tables. Girls commenting on how fat she looks. She should never have worn her mother’s dress. Of course, it’s too small. Her mum is tiny. Not some big, bovine creature like her.
    She