did I do? Nothing. I turned away from him and didn’t look back until he left ten minutes later. If anyone felt the loss of Hayden as much as I did, it was Chuck, and I couldn’t stand the fucking sight of him.
“He wants us to meet him at the hospital in half an hour,” Luke said.
“Does he know I’ll be there?”
Luke nodded. “He asked to speak to both of us. Is that okay?” I hesitated for a second, deciding if I could handle another reunion with a person I wronged. Luke picked up on my reluctance. “If you’re uncomfortable…”
“No,” I finally said, “it’s fine. It’s why I’m here, right? I’ll just go get ready.”
I moved over to my open suitcase and pull out a royal-blue blouse, and gray pants with a matching jacket. I rushed into the bathroom and jumped in the shower. I was moderately hesitant to take a shower with Luke in the next room not twenty feet away. I knew he would never come in, but still. I was naked, with only a door separating us. Who knew what thoughts were going through his head? He was a man, and it wouldn’t require much imagination. He had seen me naked before. I stopped myself from continuing this train of thought. It was just avoidance thinking so I didn’t dwell on the fact that in half an hour I’d be face-to-face with my dead husband’s best friend. Then, on second thought, I decided I’d rather dwell on Luke thinking of me naked than what was about to happen. Defense mechanisms did have their uses. I was out of the bathroom in record time. My wet hair was in its twist and my lipstick was on. I was ready.
At least I hoped so.
—
Our Lady of Mercy was a ten-story, white concrete building that could never be mistaken for anything but a hospital. A never-ending stream of ambulances entered and dropped off their cargo, only to reemerge seconds later, sirens blaring. That’s what you got for living in a city with one of the highest murder rates in America. Never a dull moment. Doctors and nurses toiled endlessly over broken bodies for a pittance. It was a thankless job most of the time, which was one of the reasons Hayden and I got along so well. We both knew what humans were capable of doing to each other, and we did our best to stop and repair the damage. We could tell each other about our days and not worry the other would be shocked or disturbed. We had our noses in the grit but knew that when we came home, we could wash it off simply by being together.
I never liked hospitals, even before my stay after the attack, but returning that day took about everything I had. Going back to where I often visited my husband, seeing familiar faces, was unnerving. Especially seeing Chuck. What was he going to do when he saw me? Slap me? Hug me? Did he know about Luke and me? What was seeing us together going to do to him? He’d just lost a girlfriend. Why on earth would he want to see the woman responsible for killing his best friend?
“This is a bad idea,” I said minutes from the hospital.
“What?” Luke asked.
“Us. Being there together. I mean, should we both be talking to him?”
“You’re just a consultant; you can’t interview him alone.”
“You can deputize me,” I suggested. Federal agents had the power to deputize a citizen under dire circumstances. That qualified in my book.
Luke gave me a sideways glance. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
He glanced again with a sigh. “I am under strict orders not to give you any more power than you already have.”
“Why?”
“I think you know.”
Yeah, I knew. Reggie, the asshole.
We pulled up to the hospital and parked in the visitors’ lot. Luke stopped the car and turned to me. “This is about the case, nothing more. As long as we play it professional, so will he. That’s all we can do. You’re okay to do this,” he said, not as a question but a statement of fact. I nodded. I could do this. I got out of the car.
When we asked for Chuck at reception, the woman pointed to the
“He wants us to meet him at the hospital in half an hour,” Luke said.
“Does he know I’ll be there?”
Luke nodded. “He asked to speak to both of us. Is that okay?” I hesitated for a second, deciding if I could handle another reunion with a person I wronged. Luke picked up on my reluctance. “If you’re uncomfortable…”
“No,” I finally said, “it’s fine. It’s why I’m here, right? I’ll just go get ready.”
I moved over to my open suitcase and pull out a royal-blue blouse, and gray pants with a matching jacket. I rushed into the bathroom and jumped in the shower. I was moderately hesitant to take a shower with Luke in the next room not twenty feet away. I knew he would never come in, but still. I was naked, with only a door separating us. Who knew what thoughts were going through his head? He was a man, and it wouldn’t require much imagination. He had seen me naked before. I stopped myself from continuing this train of thought. It was just avoidance thinking so I didn’t dwell on the fact that in half an hour I’d be face-to-face with my dead husband’s best friend. Then, on second thought, I decided I’d rather dwell on Luke thinking of me naked than what was about to happen. Defense mechanisms did have their uses. I was out of the bathroom in record time. My wet hair was in its twist and my lipstick was on. I was ready.
At least I hoped so.
—
Our Lady of Mercy was a ten-story, white concrete building that could never be mistaken for anything but a hospital. A never-ending stream of ambulances entered and dropped off their cargo, only to reemerge seconds later, sirens blaring. That’s what you got for living in a city with one of the highest murder rates in America. Never a dull moment. Doctors and nurses toiled endlessly over broken bodies for a pittance. It was a thankless job most of the time, which was one of the reasons Hayden and I got along so well. We both knew what humans were capable of doing to each other, and we did our best to stop and repair the damage. We could tell each other about our days and not worry the other would be shocked or disturbed. We had our noses in the grit but knew that when we came home, we could wash it off simply by being together.
I never liked hospitals, even before my stay after the attack, but returning that day took about everything I had. Going back to where I often visited my husband, seeing familiar faces, was unnerving. Especially seeing Chuck. What was he going to do when he saw me? Slap me? Hug me? Did he know about Luke and me? What was seeing us together going to do to him? He’d just lost a girlfriend. Why on earth would he want to see the woman responsible for killing his best friend?
“This is a bad idea,” I said minutes from the hospital.
“What?” Luke asked.
“Us. Being there together. I mean, should we both be talking to him?”
“You’re just a consultant; you can’t interview him alone.”
“You can deputize me,” I suggested. Federal agents had the power to deputize a citizen under dire circumstances. That qualified in my book.
Luke gave me a sideways glance. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
He glanced again with a sigh. “I am under strict orders not to give you any more power than you already have.”
“Why?”
“I think you know.”
Yeah, I knew. Reggie, the asshole.
We pulled up to the hospital and parked in the visitors’ lot. Luke stopped the car and turned to me. “This is about the case, nothing more. As long as we play it professional, so will he. That’s all we can do. You’re okay to do this,” he said, not as a question but a statement of fact. I nodded. I could do this. I got out of the car.
When we asked for Chuck at reception, the woman pointed to the
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