can do whatever you want. Hell, go on Dancing under the Stars and every bitch in America will want to fuck you.”
“Fuck that. You go on. You’d look good in the makeup and shit.”
“Whatever, man. I’m telling you. You’ve got it made.”
Easy for him to say—he still had his looks, his career. The career that should’ve been mine.
All my friends were living their dreams. Diego was going to McMap to be a Marine Martial Arts instructor, and Trace was going to be a Marine Security Guard at an Embassy. We were young Devil Dawgs—raised on Eminem and Facebook. Most of us had never even thought about life after the Corps. Do twenty years, retire, get a paycheck for life. If we were lucky, find a beautiful girl who wouldn’t fuck around on us while we were deployed.
“And, dude, no one pities you—they admire the fuck out of you. You saved my life, bro. I’d be dead without you. And I know you think any of us would’ve done the same thing—but you’re wrong. You’re the man.”
I shrugged him off of me. The world looked different to me now. I needed to navigate my new reality—find a career or job I could feel as passionate about. I believed everything happened for a reason—my injury, getting offered to write this book, meeting Isa. I had to figure out why God had allowed me to live.
18
Isa
T he wait was over , my time alone with Grady would start today.
I’d flown into Reno this morning and spent the past hour driving my rental car to Lake Tahoe. He’d offered to pick me up at the airport, but I insisted on renting a car. I wanted to not be dependent on him just in case anything went wrong.
Even so, he would be in control.
In other words, he would be my master.
As I approached Incline Village, I marveled at the beauty of the emerald bay. I rolled down the window—the scent of freshly fallen pine needles mixed with the mountain air tickled my nostrils. I needed this retreat. A time to relax, read some books, finish that Christmas needlepoint stocking I’d been working on for years—I could definitely think of worse ways to spend the week, especially since I was still unable to enroll for fall quarter. I’d applied for a loan, but because I’d missed the deadline, I wouldn’t be able to attend.
But there was nothing I could do about that now. All I could hope for was that this week with Grady would go smoothly, that we would have a great time at the ball, and that he would keep his promise and let my dad write his book.
And maybe, something deeper would develop with Grady.
I followed the navigation system and pulled in front of a towering log cabin with a view of the lake.
I took a deep breath, steadied my nerves, and walked to the magnificent door. It was gorgeous—hand-carved, mahogany featuring a bear eating honey from a tree.
I pressed the doorbell, and Grady opened the door. His muscles bulged out of his T-shirt but seeing his scars in the light sent a shock through my core. I gasped, in spite of myself.
Grady’s fingers pressed deeper into my flesh, and I let out a yelp.
“You’re mine now, baby. And this time you can’t run away. You’re going to be forced to look at me every day.” His voice was urgent and dripping with sex.
His eye shot a dagger at me and then he finally released me.
I gulped.
I’d hurt him.
He must’ve thought the only reason I wanted to see him was to ask him to do the memoir.
But that wasn’t true. As much as Grady scared me, I was drawn to him.
Before I could speak, he’d turned and disappeared into the cabin, slamming the carved wooden bear door behind him.
I didn’t know whether I should be flattered or scared or pissed off.
The only thing I did know was the heat of his body next to mine had made me ache to be with him again.
19
Grady
A ll I had wanted was to spend some time with her, and I’d promised myself I would try to start fresh. But seeing her outside, looking so damn sexy, triggered rage inside me. Rage that she would
“Fuck that. You go on. You’d look good in the makeup and shit.”
“Whatever, man. I’m telling you. You’ve got it made.”
Easy for him to say—he still had his looks, his career. The career that should’ve been mine.
All my friends were living their dreams. Diego was going to McMap to be a Marine Martial Arts instructor, and Trace was going to be a Marine Security Guard at an Embassy. We were young Devil Dawgs—raised on Eminem and Facebook. Most of us had never even thought about life after the Corps. Do twenty years, retire, get a paycheck for life. If we were lucky, find a beautiful girl who wouldn’t fuck around on us while we were deployed.
“And, dude, no one pities you—they admire the fuck out of you. You saved my life, bro. I’d be dead without you. And I know you think any of us would’ve done the same thing—but you’re wrong. You’re the man.”
I shrugged him off of me. The world looked different to me now. I needed to navigate my new reality—find a career or job I could feel as passionate about. I believed everything happened for a reason—my injury, getting offered to write this book, meeting Isa. I had to figure out why God had allowed me to live.
18
Isa
T he wait was over , my time alone with Grady would start today.
I’d flown into Reno this morning and spent the past hour driving my rental car to Lake Tahoe. He’d offered to pick me up at the airport, but I insisted on renting a car. I wanted to not be dependent on him just in case anything went wrong.
Even so, he would be in control.
In other words, he would be my master.
As I approached Incline Village, I marveled at the beauty of the emerald bay. I rolled down the window—the scent of freshly fallen pine needles mixed with the mountain air tickled my nostrils. I needed this retreat. A time to relax, read some books, finish that Christmas needlepoint stocking I’d been working on for years—I could definitely think of worse ways to spend the week, especially since I was still unable to enroll for fall quarter. I’d applied for a loan, but because I’d missed the deadline, I wouldn’t be able to attend.
But there was nothing I could do about that now. All I could hope for was that this week with Grady would go smoothly, that we would have a great time at the ball, and that he would keep his promise and let my dad write his book.
And maybe, something deeper would develop with Grady.
I followed the navigation system and pulled in front of a towering log cabin with a view of the lake.
I took a deep breath, steadied my nerves, and walked to the magnificent door. It was gorgeous—hand-carved, mahogany featuring a bear eating honey from a tree.
I pressed the doorbell, and Grady opened the door. His muscles bulged out of his T-shirt but seeing his scars in the light sent a shock through my core. I gasped, in spite of myself.
Grady’s fingers pressed deeper into my flesh, and I let out a yelp.
“You’re mine now, baby. And this time you can’t run away. You’re going to be forced to look at me every day.” His voice was urgent and dripping with sex.
His eye shot a dagger at me and then he finally released me.
I gulped.
I’d hurt him.
He must’ve thought the only reason I wanted to see him was to ask him to do the memoir.
But that wasn’t true. As much as Grady scared me, I was drawn to him.
Before I could speak, he’d turned and disappeared into the cabin, slamming the carved wooden bear door behind him.
I didn’t know whether I should be flattered or scared or pissed off.
The only thing I did know was the heat of his body next to mine had made me ache to be with him again.
19
Grady
A ll I had wanted was to spend some time with her, and I’d promised myself I would try to start fresh. But seeing her outside, looking so damn sexy, triggered rage inside me. Rage that she would
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