voice.
There was no reason to go into detail about the impossible situation between him and Darling. "Please. I promise you I can handle my own love life."
"Can you?" She stretched out her legs and relaxed into the oversized leather chair. "If I wait on you to find someone, I'll never have any grandchildren."
He put his cocktail on the table next to him. Sliding forward in his chair, he stared into his mother's worried eyes. There was so much to share with her, but first, he needed her to know. "Mom, I don't know what kind of father I would be—"
"Son, you would be a great father because you're a great man." Her eyes glistened. "I was afraid you would feel this way. I didn't want you to doubt yourself because of us."
"I know, but you can't pick my wife for me because you want grandkids."
"Of course, I want grandkids. I'm not trying to—I don't want you to never know what it's like to feel the love and happiness that grows in my heart every time I look into your eyes."
He reached across the small table, and placed his hand on top of hers. "Mom, I've been thinking a lot about a family, lately."
The sadness in her eyes drained away.
"But, you have to let me do this my own way."
Silently, his mother stared for a long while. "You've found someone. Well, tell me who is she?" She leaned forward and covered his hand with her other. "Do I know her family?"
"No, you don't know her family." Hell, he didn't know her family. "It's complicated."
"Complicated? How?" The frown lines etched in her forehead deepened.
No matter his age, she would never stop worrying about him. "It's nothing you can help me with. I have to do it myself."
"Well, if that Darling doesn't know how you feel…it's her loss." She released his hand and leaned back into her chair.
He blinked in response to his mother's words and knowledge. "What? How did you know?" Since his childhood, she'd always been able to tell him what he was thinking before he knew. She knew who he was attracted to in high school, or which of his friends he was fighting with. And it didn't change in college. She had mom radar that never allowed him to hide.
"Son, I know you." She laughed warmly. "I knew there had to be some reason you weren't trying to leave Memphis. The minute Melanie entered your office you changed and so did Darling."
He wanted to deny it, but it was nice to talk about it with someone. "I don't know what to do." That was the problem in a nutshell.
"Have you told her?" His mother lifted her glass of wine to her nose, and inhaled the bouquet.
"No." He sighed and fell back against his chair. "When we first met, she didn't work for us. Then she disappeared for a few months. And then there's Rodney and Barbara." The more he listened to himself, the more he understood why Darling pulled away at every opportunity. If he didn't know what he wanted, why should she trust him?
She nodded. "So, the job is the problem?"
"It's complicated. She's going through a nasty divorce."
"No, son, it's not complicated at all." She sipped her cocktail. "When your father left, life changed. But, like an idiot, I kept waiting. For some reason, I thought he might come back. I wanted the nightmare to end, but it didn't. Then, one day, you were a man—no longer a boy, and I was old and alone."
His mother's words cut right through him. He'd always known of her pain, but she'd never voiced it. "Mom—"
"No, it's okay. The reason, I'm telling you this is because I know the way I lived my life affected the way you live yours. That's why I play matchmaker." She laughed. "I guess I'm trying to make up for all those years of nothing."
There it was. His mother blamed herself for his fucked up life, but that wasn't on her. It wasn't even on his father. It was on him. He'd checked out a long time ago and until he met Darling, he hadn't cared. Sex without strings had kept his head on straight and his heart his own. "Mom, you were dealing with your own pain."
"Yes, but I never should've
There was no reason to go into detail about the impossible situation between him and Darling. "Please. I promise you I can handle my own love life."
"Can you?" She stretched out her legs and relaxed into the oversized leather chair. "If I wait on you to find someone, I'll never have any grandchildren."
He put his cocktail on the table next to him. Sliding forward in his chair, he stared into his mother's worried eyes. There was so much to share with her, but first, he needed her to know. "Mom, I don't know what kind of father I would be—"
"Son, you would be a great father because you're a great man." Her eyes glistened. "I was afraid you would feel this way. I didn't want you to doubt yourself because of us."
"I know, but you can't pick my wife for me because you want grandkids."
"Of course, I want grandkids. I'm not trying to—I don't want you to never know what it's like to feel the love and happiness that grows in my heart every time I look into your eyes."
He reached across the small table, and placed his hand on top of hers. "Mom, I've been thinking a lot about a family, lately."
The sadness in her eyes drained away.
"But, you have to let me do this my own way."
Silently, his mother stared for a long while. "You've found someone. Well, tell me who is she?" She leaned forward and covered his hand with her other. "Do I know her family?"
"No, you don't know her family." Hell, he didn't know her family. "It's complicated."
"Complicated? How?" The frown lines etched in her forehead deepened.
No matter his age, she would never stop worrying about him. "It's nothing you can help me with. I have to do it myself."
"Well, if that Darling doesn't know how you feel…it's her loss." She released his hand and leaned back into her chair.
He blinked in response to his mother's words and knowledge. "What? How did you know?" Since his childhood, she'd always been able to tell him what he was thinking before he knew. She knew who he was attracted to in high school, or which of his friends he was fighting with. And it didn't change in college. She had mom radar that never allowed him to hide.
"Son, I know you." She laughed warmly. "I knew there had to be some reason you weren't trying to leave Memphis. The minute Melanie entered your office you changed and so did Darling."
He wanted to deny it, but it was nice to talk about it with someone. "I don't know what to do." That was the problem in a nutshell.
"Have you told her?" His mother lifted her glass of wine to her nose, and inhaled the bouquet.
"No." He sighed and fell back against his chair. "When we first met, she didn't work for us. Then she disappeared for a few months. And then there's Rodney and Barbara." The more he listened to himself, the more he understood why Darling pulled away at every opportunity. If he didn't know what he wanted, why should she trust him?
She nodded. "So, the job is the problem?"
"It's complicated. She's going through a nasty divorce."
"No, son, it's not complicated at all." She sipped her cocktail. "When your father left, life changed. But, like an idiot, I kept waiting. For some reason, I thought he might come back. I wanted the nightmare to end, but it didn't. Then, one day, you were a man—no longer a boy, and I was old and alone."
His mother's words cut right through him. He'd always known of her pain, but she'd never voiced it. "Mom—"
"No, it's okay. The reason, I'm telling you this is because I know the way I lived my life affected the way you live yours. That's why I play matchmaker." She laughed. "I guess I'm trying to make up for all those years of nothing."
There it was. His mother blamed herself for his fucked up life, but that wasn't on her. It wasn't even on his father. It was on him. He'd checked out a long time ago and until he met Darling, he hadn't cared. Sex without strings had kept his head on straight and his heart his own. "Mom, you were dealing with your own pain."
"Yes, but I never should've
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