Be Good Be Real Be Crazy by Chelsey Philpot

short.”
    â€œYeah, because we only have three buildings, and this dump and the stupid outhouse are two of them.” Bob glowered as he backed up to the wooden pole near an empty apple bin and started rubbing against it like a bear against a tree.
    Homer got the sense that Jenkins would have been throwing vegetables by now if there had been any. Jenkins’s patient, happy expression was as natural as a winter storm in a snow globe. “So, what brought you in today? I bet you saw the nifty sandwich board I set by the highway.”
    Mia opened her mouth, paused, then shut it. If even Mia’s lost for words— Homer didn’t have the chance to finish the thought before Jenkins spoke again.
    â€œPainted that sign myself. I imagine that you three are justthe beginning of all the curious travelers who decide to pop in.”
    â€œThey didn’t see the stupid sign. No sane human beings are going to drive ten miles out of their way because of a sandwich board.” Bob stepped away from the pole, his fingers twitching as though now they too were itchy.
    â€œPeople love that sign. It’s iconic,” Jenkins said, pulling a square of cloth from the chest pocket of his overalls and wiping it across his forehead.
    Homer started stepping backward in the direction of the door. “Mia, maybe we should go—”
    â€œYou put it outside last Monday. How could it be iconic? Do you even know what ‘iconic’ means? Or did they not use big words at your couldn’t-get-into-the-Ivy-League-so-I-have-to-go-here safety school?” Bob’s face was as red as the cartoonish apple on the wall just over his left shoulder.
    â€œMia,” Homer tried again. “Let’s give—”
    â€œOh, come on. You’re still angry that I got in and you didn’t. Real mature, Robert. Way to get over the past.”
    â€œWell, the eggplant on your stupid sign looks like a penis,” said Bob as he crossed his arms.
    â€œNo it doesn’t.”
    â€œUh, yes it does.”
    â€œExcuse me.” Mia’s shout was strong enough to make Homer step back and loud enough to startle Jenkins and Bob into silence. “The thing is, babies can hear.” She put her hands on the sides of her stomach as though she were covering Tadpole’sears. “So I’d rather you not shout. Plus, you two are behaving like a couple of jerk-faces. If you keep doing that, no one’s going to want to join your thingie.”
    â€œSorry.” Bob scuffed his toe against the floor.
    â€œVery sorry,” Jenkins added.
    â€œI accept.” Mia kept her expression stern, but Homer could see the corners of her mouth twitch.
    Except for the occasional cough and Bob’s sneaker catching on the floor, the next few minutes were quiet.
    When Einstein finally returned, the three of them couldn’t get back to the Banana quickly enough.
    Mia drove for three hours before she got tired and Homer took over. She crawled into the backseat to take a nap and Einstein moved up front.
    After fifteen minutes of searching for a radio station that wasn’t more static than music, Einstein turned the radio off completely, leaned his head against the window, and closed his eyes. Homer assumed he’d fallen asleep, too.
    â€œWhat are you going to tell the dads when you call them later? About visiting Pillar College?”
    â€œOh man. I totally forgot we were supposed to do that.” Homer, remembering that Mia actually was sleeping, lowered his voice to a whisper. “I thought you were down for the count.” He glanced at Einstein. His little brother’s eyes were still closed, but he was tapping his fingers. “I don’t know. Guess I’ll have tohope that they don’t ask. Funny”—Homer shook his head—“I was so focused on getting out of the shack that I wasn’t thinking straight. Speaking of which, why’d you take so long back there? Mia