Mr. Perfect—Curt Hennig—was from the old school.
“Ah, we’ll just call it out there,” he said, meaning that once we were in the ring, we’d decide the moves that would be made.
I just about freaked out. But of course that was the way we had to do it.
So we were in the ring. I was with Shelton Benjamin and I had no clue what the hell I was doing. But I had to make the call. So I had Shelton give me something really stupid, like an elbow. Which I bumped for, going down on my back. He covered me. So I’m down on the mat, he’s covering me, and I’m trying to come up with something to tell him what we’re going to do when we get up.
Before I could think of anything, I got counted out.
He beat me because of an elbow?
Oh, fuck.
Fuck!
I was freaking out. Mr. Perfect’s freaking out. The fans were freaking out. They started booing. And booing. I actually think we did a restart. It didn’t matter. I just wanted to die right there.
After the match, I got my stuff, I found my wife.
Photo 19
My first magazine article.
“We gotta get outta here,” I told her. “Let’s go.”
I felt so embarrassed. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to leave.
But that would have been too easy.
Angie had been there for a while and was a little tipsy.
Drunk may be a better word.
“How many beers did you have?” I asked her.
“Two?”
“You got six cups in your hand.”
“Oh, I’m busted.”
My wife had been in the audience drinking beer, having a good ol’ time, while I was making an ass of myself in the ring. That wouldn’t have been bad at all, except that when we went out to try and find our car, she couldn’t remember where she parked it. We couldn’t find it. We must have spent like two hours looking for my car.
It’s a funny story now, but that night I wasn’t laughing.
HURRICANE
Hurricane—Gregory Helms—became a real good friend of mine later on. But the first night I met him, I had had such a fucking awful match. You know it’s bad when you go up to gorilla—the ready-room area during a wrestling show, named after famous wrestling commentator and wrestler Gorilla Monsoon—and no one will look at you, not make eye contact or anything. Well, it was one of those nights. I felt so bad and I was sitting down and pouting, just about heartbroken and maybe ready to cry because my match was so bad.
Hurricane walked over to me and he didn’t know me from anything, but he was looking out for me. He said, “Man, don’t let these guys see you like that. Pick up, put a fake-ass smile on your face, and don’t let these guys see you down.”
I’ll never forget that. He went out of his way to help me out. He’s my boy. Even though he is an abrasive dickhead.
There were other times when I was just so embarrassed I left without talking to anyone, not even saying good-bye. I’d get my stuff, grab Angie, stalk back to the car, and get out of there.
DEACON BATISTA
I was at OVW for two years as Leviathan, from 2000 to 2002. I had a shaved head, a big chain around my neck, and black trunks. Whatever was or wasn’t happening for me at WWE in those dark shows, I was doing pretty well at OVW. I had the look, and after a while, I became a really big deal there. I won the OVW Heavyweight Championship from Doug Basham, who was wrestling as the Machine.
I was ready to move up, or so I thought. I kept hoping the call would come.
Brock Lesnar had been at OVW around that time. Among other things, he and Shelton Benjamin were the OVW Southern Tag Team champs. Brock had been a star college wrestler before turning pro, he had a real good look, and WWE had very high hopes for him. He was called up and went on Raw , I believe in March 2002. Right away, they brought him out as a star.
I thought they’d do the same for me.
Heh.
It was Johnny Ace who finally called me and said they wanted me on SmackDown! Johnny Ace’s real name is John Laurinaitis; he’s head of talent at WWE.
“We’re
“Ah, we’ll just call it out there,” he said, meaning that once we were in the ring, we’d decide the moves that would be made.
I just about freaked out. But of course that was the way we had to do it.
So we were in the ring. I was with Shelton Benjamin and I had no clue what the hell I was doing. But I had to make the call. So I had Shelton give me something really stupid, like an elbow. Which I bumped for, going down on my back. He covered me. So I’m down on the mat, he’s covering me, and I’m trying to come up with something to tell him what we’re going to do when we get up.
Before I could think of anything, I got counted out.
He beat me because of an elbow?
Oh, fuck.
Fuck!
I was freaking out. Mr. Perfect’s freaking out. The fans were freaking out. They started booing. And booing. I actually think we did a restart. It didn’t matter. I just wanted to die right there.
After the match, I got my stuff, I found my wife.
Photo 19
My first magazine article.
“We gotta get outta here,” I told her. “Let’s go.”
I felt so embarrassed. I didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to leave.
But that would have been too easy.
Angie had been there for a while and was a little tipsy.
Drunk may be a better word.
“How many beers did you have?” I asked her.
“Two?”
“You got six cups in your hand.”
“Oh, I’m busted.”
My wife had been in the audience drinking beer, having a good ol’ time, while I was making an ass of myself in the ring. That wouldn’t have been bad at all, except that when we went out to try and find our car, she couldn’t remember where she parked it. We couldn’t find it. We must have spent like two hours looking for my car.
It’s a funny story now, but that night I wasn’t laughing.
HURRICANE
Hurricane—Gregory Helms—became a real good friend of mine later on. But the first night I met him, I had had such a fucking awful match. You know it’s bad when you go up to gorilla—the ready-room area during a wrestling show, named after famous wrestling commentator and wrestler Gorilla Monsoon—and no one will look at you, not make eye contact or anything. Well, it was one of those nights. I felt so bad and I was sitting down and pouting, just about heartbroken and maybe ready to cry because my match was so bad.
Hurricane walked over to me and he didn’t know me from anything, but he was looking out for me. He said, “Man, don’t let these guys see you like that. Pick up, put a fake-ass smile on your face, and don’t let these guys see you down.”
I’ll never forget that. He went out of his way to help me out. He’s my boy. Even though he is an abrasive dickhead.
There were other times when I was just so embarrassed I left without talking to anyone, not even saying good-bye. I’d get my stuff, grab Angie, stalk back to the car, and get out of there.
DEACON BATISTA
I was at OVW for two years as Leviathan, from 2000 to 2002. I had a shaved head, a big chain around my neck, and black trunks. Whatever was or wasn’t happening for me at WWE in those dark shows, I was doing pretty well at OVW. I had the look, and after a while, I became a really big deal there. I won the OVW Heavyweight Championship from Doug Basham, who was wrestling as the Machine.
I was ready to move up, or so I thought. I kept hoping the call would come.
Brock Lesnar had been at OVW around that time. Among other things, he and Shelton Benjamin were the OVW Southern Tag Team champs. Brock had been a star college wrestler before turning pro, he had a real good look, and WWE had very high hopes for him. He was called up and went on Raw , I believe in March 2002. Right away, they brought him out as a star.
I thought they’d do the same for me.
Heh.
It was Johnny Ace who finally called me and said they wanted me on SmackDown! Johnny Ace’s real name is John Laurinaitis; he’s head of talent at WWE.
“We’re
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