Ballads of Suburbia by Stephanie Kuehnert Page A

this. I’d told him, “You know you upset the whole balance of our friendship by telling her that. Suddenly, she was the skinny starlet, and Mary and I were the chubby girls who wore baggy clothes because we hated our big boobs. She made us feel like shit and ordered us around.”
    Quentin smiled at me and said, “I don’t think anyone could order you around.”
    He was right.
    I told Jessica, “This is ridiculous. You broke up with Quentin. It’s not like he broke your heart or anything. You’ve dated a bunch of guys since. And it’s not like I’m mad at Mary for going after Christian. He was my first boyfriend, remember?”
    â€œThat’s your business. I don’t want you with Quentin.”
    I softened for a moment. “Do you still have feelings for him? If you really do, I’ll back off.”
    â€œNo.” Jessica wrinkled her nose. “He’s too short for me. I just don’t want you with him.”
    â€œJessica…” I took a deep breath, preparing to reason with her.
    Then I heard my mother call out for me.
    She’d never left her room during our parties before—even if there was a band playing and kids all over the house. No one had known she was there until that night when she stumbled into the living room like a zombie, moaning, “Cassandra! Wesley!”
    Jessica craned her neck to look through the doorway at Mom in her stained blue nightgown and tangled blond hair sticking up every which way. “Oh my god,” Jessica snorted, stifling a giggle.
    I wanted to tell her to shut up. I wanted to slap her. Instead, I raced into the living room, telling myself: Get the situation under control. And don’t cry. Whatever you do, don’t let them see you cry.
    Everyone had backed up, giving my crazy mother a wide berth, like she was an animal who might attack. I put my arms around her skinny body and tried to steer her toward the hallway that she’d come from, saying, “Mom, let me get you back to bed.”
    She refused to move. She reached up to pet my hair and said, “Cassie, get your brother. I took too many pills. He needs to drive me to the hospital.”
    When it came to my mother, I’d dealt with a lot, but nothing that bad. I froze, stammering, “Mama, Wes isn’t here.”
    Confusion filled her gray eyes. “Get Wes. We need Wes!” she insisted loudly.
    We really fucking did need Wes, but he wasn’t there. I had to handle it.
    â€œAdrian, I need you to give me a ride. Everybody else needs to get out of here now!” I barked.
    No one needed to be told twice. The house cleared and Adrian and Quentin helped me lead my dazed mother to Adrian’s car. I stayed calm. I didn’t even cry when the doctors told me they’d have to pump Mom’s stomach.
    I didn’t cry until I called Wes to tell him about it and he told me that he wasn’t going to come home for the holidays.
    â€œNo,” I bawled. “You have to. I need you. Everything is falling apart.” And I went on to explain about Quentin and me and how Jessica insisted I break it off.
    â€œJessica’s just jealous,” he assured me. “She’ll get over it. I’m glad you’re with Quentin. You keep an eye on him and Adrian because they need it. You watch over everyone for me until I come home, Cassie. Be the guardian angel.”
    Every time I talk to him he says that, “Take care of everyone for me, Guardian Angel.” And I’m trying, but I really don’t know if I can do it. I really wish that he’d just come home and I’d have someone to watch over me for a change.

11.
    â€œA RE YOU GOING OUT AGAIN?” L IAM asked as we microwaved leftovers in the kitchen together on Saturday evening. Our parents were out on a date for the first time in ages. “Didn’t you say that there was a concert tonight and I could come?”
    I’d shown Liam the