examples of why you’re feeling this way?”
Candy downed her martini, and Bev was up to take her glass for a refill before she continued. “Well…you all know I’m bisexual. George knows it. He’s known it from the start, but he won’t let me be with other women. He actually had the nerve to say that he would leave me if I hooked up with someone else, even if it was a woman !”
“Are you still monogamous?” Lucy asked, her tone very neutral.
Candy blew out a frustrated breath. “Yes. We’re living together now, but I like to be with men and women. George is talking marriage, and part of me is thrilled by that, but another part of me can’t imagine not having sex with a woman for the rest of my life. It’s not fair of him to ask that of me.”
“Well, you may just have to choose, Candy.”
“But that’s not fair. I’m attracted to men and women.”
“I understand. And that’s fine. Only you can decide what you want to do, and how you want to prioritize your relationships. You did agree to monogamy with George. If I recall, it was your idea. What he’s asking you to do — to not have sex with other people, is no different than what any partner asks in an exclusive relationship —“
“But I’m attracted to women .”
Bev brought Candy another martini.
Candy thanked, her, taking a long drink.
“I understand that. I really do. Do you think any monogamous relationship doesn’t face those same challenges? It’s a commitment for everyone to deny those other potential attractions. If you married George, you may never have sex with another woman, but that’s what marriage is. If George says he won’t tolerate you having sex with other women, you either need to adhere to that, or break it off.”
“Most men would be thrilled that I liked other women! Most men think it’s hot! Why does he have to be different?”
“I don’t know. And you’re right, many men would like that. But you chose George, and he’s been clear about what he wants. What he’s asking of you is not unreasonable, but it’s also not unreasonable if you decide that you can’t make the sort of commitment that he wants.”
“Well, fuck. This is hard. I was hoping you’d just tell me that he was an asshole.”
Lucy gave her a very understanding smile. “You know that’s not what I do.”
“Yeah, I know. A girl can dream. Okay, I’m done with my rant. Who wants to follow that hot mess?” Candy sat down.
No one spoke right away, and Lucy’s concerned, benevolent gaze swung to me. Dammit, but her understanding looks undid me.
“What about you, Danika?” she asked, as I’d know she would. “How are you doing? Where do you stand with your ex? Are you still broken up?”
That last question made me bristle a bit. “Of course we are! I caught a chick giving him a blow job in exchange for pot. It’s not a complicated situation. It’s very cut and dry. I’m not wishy-washy about it. I never want to speak to him again.” It was the strangest thing, how something that had felt so awful just a month ago, didn’t make me feel anything but annoyance just then.
She nodded, not looking at all surprised by my outburst. “And has he been trying to call?”
I sighed. “Yeah. It’s calmed down to a few attempts a day, so I’m confident that eventually he’ll stop trying altogether.”
“And have you started seeing anyone else?”
“No. I’m determined to just be by myself for a while.”
“That’s good. Very good. Your last two relationships ended and began within two weeks of each other, and they both lasted two years, two very impressionable years. Jumping from one relationship and into another gives you no time to gain any perspective, especially at your age. I think it would benefit you greatly to remain single. We’ve gone over this
Candy downed her martini, and Bev was up to take her glass for a refill before she continued. “Well…you all know I’m bisexual. George knows it. He’s known it from the start, but he won’t let me be with other women. He actually had the nerve to say that he would leave me if I hooked up with someone else, even if it was a woman !”
“Are you still monogamous?” Lucy asked, her tone very neutral.
Candy blew out a frustrated breath. “Yes. We’re living together now, but I like to be with men and women. George is talking marriage, and part of me is thrilled by that, but another part of me can’t imagine not having sex with a woman for the rest of my life. It’s not fair of him to ask that of me.”
“Well, you may just have to choose, Candy.”
“But that’s not fair. I’m attracted to men and women.”
“I understand. And that’s fine. Only you can decide what you want to do, and how you want to prioritize your relationships. You did agree to monogamy with George. If I recall, it was your idea. What he’s asking you to do — to not have sex with other people, is no different than what any partner asks in an exclusive relationship —“
“But I’m attracted to women .”
Bev brought Candy another martini.
Candy thanked, her, taking a long drink.
“I understand that. I really do. Do you think any monogamous relationship doesn’t face those same challenges? It’s a commitment for everyone to deny those other potential attractions. If you married George, you may never have sex with another woman, but that’s what marriage is. If George says he won’t tolerate you having sex with other women, you either need to adhere to that, or break it off.”
“Most men would be thrilled that I liked other women! Most men think it’s hot! Why does he have to be different?”
“I don’t know. And you’re right, many men would like that. But you chose George, and he’s been clear about what he wants. What he’s asking of you is not unreasonable, but it’s also not unreasonable if you decide that you can’t make the sort of commitment that he wants.”
“Well, fuck. This is hard. I was hoping you’d just tell me that he was an asshole.”
Lucy gave her a very understanding smile. “You know that’s not what I do.”
“Yeah, I know. A girl can dream. Okay, I’m done with my rant. Who wants to follow that hot mess?” Candy sat down.
No one spoke right away, and Lucy’s concerned, benevolent gaze swung to me. Dammit, but her understanding looks undid me.
“What about you, Danika?” she asked, as I’d know she would. “How are you doing? Where do you stand with your ex? Are you still broken up?”
That last question made me bristle a bit. “Of course we are! I caught a chick giving him a blow job in exchange for pot. It’s not a complicated situation. It’s very cut and dry. I’m not wishy-washy about it. I never want to speak to him again.” It was the strangest thing, how something that had felt so awful just a month ago, didn’t make me feel anything but annoyance just then.
She nodded, not looking at all surprised by my outburst. “And has he been trying to call?”
I sighed. “Yeah. It’s calmed down to a few attempts a day, so I’m confident that eventually he’ll stop trying altogether.”
“And have you started seeing anyone else?”
“No. I’m determined to just be by myself for a while.”
“That’s good. Very good. Your last two relationships ended and began within two weeks of each other, and they both lasted two years, two very impressionable years. Jumping from one relationship and into another gives you no time to gain any perspective, especially at your age. I think it would benefit you greatly to remain single. We’ve gone over this
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