and
that's all there is to it! Personally, I don't see myself why they
stuck 'em into an up-to-date high-school system like we have in
this state. Be a good deal better if you took Business English, and
learned how to write an ad, or letters that would pull. But there
it is, and there's no tall, argument, or discussion about it!
Trouble with you, Ted, is you always want to do something
different! If you're going to law-school - and you are! - I never
had a chance to, but I'll see that you do - why, you'll want to lay
in all the English and Latin you can get."
"Oh punk. I don't see what's the use of law-school -
or even finishing high school. I don't want to go to college
'specially. Honest, there's lot of fellows that have graduated from
colleges that don't begin to make as much money as fellows that
went to work early. Old Shimmy Peters, that teaches Latin in the
High, he's a what-is-it from Columbia and he sits up all night
reading a lot of greasy books and he's always spieling about the
'value of languages,' and the poor soak doesn't make but eighteen
hundred a year, and no traveling salesman would think of working
for that. I know what I'd like to do. I'd like to be an aviator, or
own a corking big garage, or else - a fellow was telling me about
it yesterday - I'd like to be one of these fellows that the
Standard Oil Company sends out to China, and you live in a compound
and don't have to do any work, and you get to see the world and
pagodas and the ocean and everything! And then I could take up
correspondence-courses. That's the real stuff! You don't have to
recite to some frosty-faced old dame that's trying to show off to
the principal, and you can study any subject you want to. Just
listen to these! I clipped out the ads of some swell courses."
He snatched from the back of his geometry half a
hundred advertisements of those home-study courses which the energy
and foresight of American commerce have contributed to the science
of education. The first displayed the portrait of a young man with
a pure brow, an iron jaw, silk socks, and hair like patent leather.
Standing with one hand in his trousers-pocket and the other
extended with chiding forefinger, he was bewitching an audience of
men with gray beards, paunches, bald heads, and every other sign of
wisdom and prosperity. Above the picture was an inspiring
educational symbol - no antiquated lamp or torch or owl of Minerva,
but a row of dollar signs. The text ran:
$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ POWER AND PROSPERITY IN PUBLIC
SPEAKING
A Yarn Told at the Club
Who do you think I ran into the other evening at the
De Luxe Restaurant? Why, old Freddy Durkee, that used to be a dead
or-alive shipping clerk in my old place - Mr. Mouse-Man we used to
laughingly call the dear fellow. One time he was so timid he was
plumb scared of the Super, and never got credit for the dandy work
he did. Him at the De Luxe! And if he wasn't ordering a tony feed
with all the "fixings" from celery to nuts! And instead of being
embarrassed by the waiters, like he used to be at the little dump
where we lunched in Old Lang Syne, he was bossing them around like
he was a millionaire!
I cautiously asked him what he was doing. Freddy
laughed and said, "Say, old chum, I guess you're wondering what's
come over me. You'll be glad to know I'm now Assistant Super at the
old shop, and right on the High Road to Prosperity and Domination,
and I look forward with confidence to a twelve-cylinder car, and
the wife is making things hum in the best society and the kiddies
getting a first-class education.
- - - - - - - WHAT WE TEACH YOU I
How to address your lodge.
How to give toasts.
How to tell dialect stories.
How to propose to a lady.
How to entertain banquets.
How to make convincing selling-talks.
How to build big vocabulary.
How to create a strong personality.
How to become a rational, powerful and original
thinker.
How to be a MASTER MAN! - -
that's all there is to it! Personally, I don't see myself why they
stuck 'em into an up-to-date high-school system like we have in
this state. Be a good deal better if you took Business English, and
learned how to write an ad, or letters that would pull. But there
it is, and there's no tall, argument, or discussion about it!
Trouble with you, Ted, is you always want to do something
different! If you're going to law-school - and you are! - I never
had a chance to, but I'll see that you do - why, you'll want to lay
in all the English and Latin you can get."
"Oh punk. I don't see what's the use of law-school -
or even finishing high school. I don't want to go to college
'specially. Honest, there's lot of fellows that have graduated from
colleges that don't begin to make as much money as fellows that
went to work early. Old Shimmy Peters, that teaches Latin in the
High, he's a what-is-it from Columbia and he sits up all night
reading a lot of greasy books and he's always spieling about the
'value of languages,' and the poor soak doesn't make but eighteen
hundred a year, and no traveling salesman would think of working
for that. I know what I'd like to do. I'd like to be an aviator, or
own a corking big garage, or else - a fellow was telling me about
it yesterday - I'd like to be one of these fellows that the
Standard Oil Company sends out to China, and you live in a compound
and don't have to do any work, and you get to see the world and
pagodas and the ocean and everything! And then I could take up
correspondence-courses. That's the real stuff! You don't have to
recite to some frosty-faced old dame that's trying to show off to
the principal, and you can study any subject you want to. Just
listen to these! I clipped out the ads of some swell courses."
He snatched from the back of his geometry half a
hundred advertisements of those home-study courses which the energy
and foresight of American commerce have contributed to the science
of education. The first displayed the portrait of a young man with
a pure brow, an iron jaw, silk socks, and hair like patent leather.
Standing with one hand in his trousers-pocket and the other
extended with chiding forefinger, he was bewitching an audience of
men with gray beards, paunches, bald heads, and every other sign of
wisdom and prosperity. Above the picture was an inspiring
educational symbol - no antiquated lamp or torch or owl of Minerva,
but a row of dollar signs. The text ran:
$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ POWER AND PROSPERITY IN PUBLIC
SPEAKING
A Yarn Told at the Club
Who do you think I ran into the other evening at the
De Luxe Restaurant? Why, old Freddy Durkee, that used to be a dead
or-alive shipping clerk in my old place - Mr. Mouse-Man we used to
laughingly call the dear fellow. One time he was so timid he was
plumb scared of the Super, and never got credit for the dandy work
he did. Him at the De Luxe! And if he wasn't ordering a tony feed
with all the "fixings" from celery to nuts! And instead of being
embarrassed by the waiters, like he used to be at the little dump
where we lunched in Old Lang Syne, he was bossing them around like
he was a millionaire!
I cautiously asked him what he was doing. Freddy
laughed and said, "Say, old chum, I guess you're wondering what's
come over me. You'll be glad to know I'm now Assistant Super at the
old shop, and right on the High Road to Prosperity and Domination,
and I look forward with confidence to a twelve-cylinder car, and
the wife is making things hum in the best society and the kiddies
getting a first-class education.
- - - - - - - WHAT WE TEACH YOU I
How to address your lodge.
How to give toasts.
How to tell dialect stories.
How to propose to a lady.
How to entertain banquets.
How to make convincing selling-talks.
How to build big vocabulary.
How to create a strong personality.
How to become a rational, powerful and original
thinker.
How to be a MASTER MAN! - -
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