talk girl talk
with for a while either. After she finished, exhaustion had crept back up on
both of us and we silently drifted off into sleep. The nightmares stayed away
for the rest of the night but the traumatic feeling the darkness left with me
didn’t disappear.
Chapter 12
"What a
nice surprise," Carson said cheerfully the next morning when Felix took me
to his office. "What can I do for you two?"
"Avery had
her first major run in with darkness last night and I think she really needs to
talk to you," Felix said. He was talking to Carson like I wasn't even
there but I didn't mind. Even though I slept off the worst of the traumatic feeling,
I still didn't feel back to normal and my mind kept wandering.
"Avery?"
Carson said, snapping me out of my thoughts again. Felix had to do the same
thing multiple times earlier in the morning.
"Sorry. I
can't seem to stay focused on anything," I said.
"That tends
to happen after the first couple of times," Carson said. "Why don't
you and Felix come into my office and tell me what happened."
Felix and I sat
down in some chairs in front of Carson's desk. His office looked like a typical
psychologist's office, with book cases lining the wall, framed degrees hanging
up and even a few fake plants. Like everywhere else in this facility, it
smelled lightly of incense. I had come to the conclusion that they burned
incense in the air ducts since the smell was everywhere.
Once again, I
had lost myself in my thoughts and had to be prompted again by Carson to tell
him what happened. I told him every detail I could remember, leaving off the
stuff about Felix kissing me. Once I finished I could feel myself trembling
again and my eyes were full of tears. Felix had taken my hand and was squeezing
it gently, trying to calm me down.
"I don't
want to alarm you, but it's very rare for darkness to take control of someone
like that so soon after turning eighteen. My theory is that since Lucas was so
old and powerful when your mother conceived you, he transferred more of his
darkness to you then a young Zhulik normally would to a Lovac."
That wasn't
exactly what I wanted to hear. "Does that mean I'm going to go crazy sooner?"
"Not
necessarily," he said, in a matter-of-fact tone. "You seem to be able
to block out the darkness a lot quicker than a normal Lovac too. I think you
may have to fight with darkness more but I don't think it will completely take
over sooner than it would for a normal Lovac."
"Great,"
was all I managed to say, though it didn't feel so great.
"I know
it's going to be hard and I'm sorry you were forced into this life. Every night
I pray that all of you Lovac will find your Dimidiums so that you don't have to
fight with the darkness any longer. I just hope my prayers come true
soon."
"Me
too," Felix said, smiling sadly at me. I could see he was concerned about
my future but I also saw fear in his eyes about his own fate. All of the Lovac
I met put on a brave face about their future but deep down, I knew they were
just as terrified as I was.
We left Carson's
office shortly after. He didn't have as much advice on handling the darkness as
I had hoped but he did make me feel better. He mentioned some simple techniques
I could do before bed to try to keep the darkness at bay while I slept and
mentioned that staying in the same room with another Lovac might help until I
get better control. It looked like I would be moving in with Riley or at least
staying in her room more often.
"Don’t
think you’re getting out of training today," Felix said when I went
to head back to my room. I paused in the stairwell and bit back a groan. My
body was still sore and I was hoping for an R&R day.
I was secretly
hoping that Felix had forgotten about training, at least for the day. He
dragged me to the gym and we started off with the usual running. It actually
helped clear my mind and by the end of the day all of the foggy thoughts were
gone. I was back to being as close
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