Arsenic For Tea: A Murder Most Unladylike Mystery (A Wells and Wong Mystery) by Robin Stevens
Authors: Robin Stevens
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not!’ said Kitty. ‘I’m not an idiot. You were talking about Mr Curtis. You’re playing your detective games again.’
I have sometimes wondered whether the others knew, but it was still a shock to hear someone else talk about the Detective Society. It felt as though Kitty had kicked something sacred.
‘I don’t know what you mean!’ said Daisy. ‘Detective games? Even if we were talking about Mr Curtis – which we weren’t – it wouldn’t be a game, and you wouldn’t be allowed to know about it.’
‘Oh, don’t look so shocked – we’ve known about your society for ages; ever since what happened to Miss Bell last year. We all know – well, Beanie and I do. And we think it’s utterly silly, otherwise we would have asked to join.’
‘Silly?’ sputtered Daisy. ‘We solved a
murder
!’
Kitty sniffed. ‘The police did that,’ she said. ‘That handsome policeman your mother was talking about.’
Daisy had gone pink. She was so furious that, for once, she was lost for words.
‘So is it true, what you mother said at breakfast?’ asked Kitty. ‘Has Mr Curtis really been murdered?’
‘No!’ said Daisy, for once forgetting herself. ‘Go away, can’t you? You’ll spoil everything!’
‘It
is
true!’ cried Kitty triumphantly. ‘I knew it! Hah!’
Beanie’s lip began to tremble.
‘No!’ I said desperately. ‘No, listen!’
‘No,
you
listen,’ said Kitty. ‘If there’s something that exciting going on at Fallingford, then we want in on it. It’s not fair you leaving us out. If you don’t let us, we’ll go to your uncle and tell him exactly what you’re up to. And I bet he’ll be furious.’
‘
You
might want to join in, but Beanie doesn’t,’ said Daisy, grasping at straws. ‘Do you, Beanie? It’s terribly dangerous. You might die!’
‘You won’t die!’ I said to Beanie quickly. ‘But Daisy is right. It
is
dangerous.’
Beanie took a deep breath. We could all see her considering.
‘I think . . .’ she said at last. ‘I think that if you’re going to be detectives, then I want to help.
Can’t
I help?’ Her eyes were wide, and she stared at Daisy like a kitten left out in the rain.
Daisy was silent. Then she sighed. ‘Bother,’ she said. ‘All
right
then. But you’re only temporary members of our society. You have to be our assistants.’
‘Assistants!’ exclaimed Kitty, making a face.
‘What’s wrong with that? Sherlock Holmes had runners, and that’s a sort of assistant. Anyway, you can’t just invite yourself into the Detective Society and expect to become important at once. Why, it took Hazel almost a whole term to become Vice-President.’
‘Daisy!’ I said. Like it or not, we had to be nice to Kitty and Beanie now that they were in on the secret.
‘Oh, all right, if you prefer it, you can call yourselves
secret agents
. But you’ll still be assistants really.’
This was the sort of Daisy compromise that was really no compromise at all.
Beanie squeaked again, with joy this time.
Daisy rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t get too excited,’ she said. ‘If you’re part of the Detective Society you have to solemnly agree to do whatever I tell you to, because I am the President. Hazel is the Vice-President and also the Secretary, which means that she writes everything down and also helps me solve cases. Also, you have to swear yourselves to secrecy with the Detective Society pledge, which means that if you tell anyone about what we do, ever, we’re allowed to hunt you down and punish you with medieval tortures.’
‘The medieval tortures part isn’t true,’ I said quickly, because Beanie’s eyes had grown almost bigger than her face.
‘
Aren’t
they!’ said Daisy. ‘You’re such a good Vice-President that I haven’t needed to threaten you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. In this case, though, I think the warning is needed. Kitty, Beanie, are you ready to swear? If you don’t, you can’t help us.’
‘I
I have sometimes wondered whether the others knew, but it was still a shock to hear someone else talk about the Detective Society. It felt as though Kitty had kicked something sacred.
‘I don’t know what you mean!’ said Daisy. ‘Detective games? Even if we were talking about Mr Curtis – which we weren’t – it wouldn’t be a game, and you wouldn’t be allowed to know about it.’
‘Oh, don’t look so shocked – we’ve known about your society for ages; ever since what happened to Miss Bell last year. We all know – well, Beanie and I do. And we think it’s utterly silly, otherwise we would have asked to join.’
‘Silly?’ sputtered Daisy. ‘We solved a
murder
!’
Kitty sniffed. ‘The police did that,’ she said. ‘That handsome policeman your mother was talking about.’
Daisy had gone pink. She was so furious that, for once, she was lost for words.
‘So is it true, what you mother said at breakfast?’ asked Kitty. ‘Has Mr Curtis really been murdered?’
‘No!’ said Daisy, for once forgetting herself. ‘Go away, can’t you? You’ll spoil everything!’
‘It
is
true!’ cried Kitty triumphantly. ‘I knew it! Hah!’
Beanie’s lip began to tremble.
‘No!’ I said desperately. ‘No, listen!’
‘No,
you
listen,’ said Kitty. ‘If there’s something that exciting going on at Fallingford, then we want in on it. It’s not fair you leaving us out. If you don’t let us, we’ll go to your uncle and tell him exactly what you’re up to. And I bet he’ll be furious.’
‘
You
might want to join in, but Beanie doesn’t,’ said Daisy, grasping at straws. ‘Do you, Beanie? It’s terribly dangerous. You might die!’
‘You won’t die!’ I said to Beanie quickly. ‘But Daisy is right. It
is
dangerous.’
Beanie took a deep breath. We could all see her considering.
‘I think . . .’ she said at last. ‘I think that if you’re going to be detectives, then I want to help.
Can’t
I help?’ Her eyes were wide, and she stared at Daisy like a kitten left out in the rain.
Daisy was silent. Then she sighed. ‘Bother,’ she said. ‘All
right
then. But you’re only temporary members of our society. You have to be our assistants.’
‘Assistants!’ exclaimed Kitty, making a face.
‘What’s wrong with that? Sherlock Holmes had runners, and that’s a sort of assistant. Anyway, you can’t just invite yourself into the Detective Society and expect to become important at once. Why, it took Hazel almost a whole term to become Vice-President.’
‘Daisy!’ I said. Like it or not, we had to be nice to Kitty and Beanie now that they were in on the secret.
‘Oh, all right, if you prefer it, you can call yourselves
secret agents
. But you’ll still be assistants really.’
This was the sort of Daisy compromise that was really no compromise at all.
Beanie squeaked again, with joy this time.
Daisy rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t get too excited,’ she said. ‘If you’re part of the Detective Society you have to solemnly agree to do whatever I tell you to, because I am the President. Hazel is the Vice-President and also the Secretary, which means that she writes everything down and also helps me solve cases. Also, you have to swear yourselves to secrecy with the Detective Society pledge, which means that if you tell anyone about what we do, ever, we’re allowed to hunt you down and punish you with medieval tortures.’
‘The medieval tortures part isn’t true,’ I said quickly, because Beanie’s eyes had grown almost bigger than her face.
‘
Aren’t
they!’ said Daisy. ‘You’re such a good Vice-President that I haven’t needed to threaten you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. In this case, though, I think the warning is needed. Kitty, Beanie, are you ready to swear? If you don’t, you can’t help us.’
‘I
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