be consequences.’
‘What consequences?’ I asked.
She scowled. ‘They said that, if I wouldn’t do as bid, they’d be forced to lock me in my room “for my own good and safety”. I demanded to know how this could be for my safety. Aunt Christina said the village women were afraid of me and thought me out of my senses. I might be attacked. Besides I was “sullying the Roche name” with my behaviour. “Outlandish”, my aunt called it. Well, it wasn’t the first time they’d accused me of that! They said the same when I married James. Aunt Christina and I had a terrible quarrel, but in the end I had to agree. If my Aunt Christina says a thing she means it. If I didn’t “act normally”, my aunt told me, they would seek specialist help. So I have stayed around the house and garden and that little bit of beach beyond. Yet still they’ve brought that doctor down from London to peer at me and listen to me…’
And they have brought me down to keep an eye on you when you leave the house and grounds I thought grimly. I am to prevent any more embarrassing scenes with the villagers.
‘It’s been hard for you,’ I sympathised aloud, ‘unable to go out for walks.’
Lucy frowned. ‘They don’t seem to mind if I walk on the beach – or they didn’t until…’
Lucy’s voice trailed off momentarily and she stubbed her boot against a tussock of coarse thin grass. ‘They want me to agree my baby’s dead and I won’t. That’s why Lefebre’s here. But how can I say she is when I know she lives? In the end they’ll all say I’m out of my wits. But it’s a lie. I’m not! It isn’t only about my baby they spin falsehoods, you know. They’ll tell you wicked stories about James, too.’
Her anger was mounting again. Her eyes blazed as they had when she first caught sight of Lefebre. ‘They will say James doesn’t love me! But he does! He’s the only person who ever wanted me.’ Tears filled her eyes. ‘I was nothing, nothing before I met James. He made me someone! He gave me his name so that I wasn’t a Roche any more. But they didn’t like that, did they? They sent him away to China. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay with me .’
With that she picked up her skirts and ran off down the path. I hurried after her, calling her name, but she ignored me and carried on until we reached the lych-gate where I eventually caught up with her.
She was panting and looked quite wild, whirling to face me defiantly beneath the shingled roof. Her fair hair had fallen loose and framed her face beneath the hat-brim. Her temples glittered with beads of perspiration but she was dry-eyed now.
I indicated the wooden pews. ‘Let’s sit down for a little,’ I suggested. ‘I won’t say anything to annoy you, I promise.’
Lucy threw herself down angrily on to one bench and I took the opposite one. She took off her hat and fanned herself for a moment with it before laying it down beside her. So we sat for a minute or two, avoiding one another’s gaze.
Eventually Lucy, staring down at her hands, muttered sullenly, ‘It’s not your fault. You don’t know them. But I know James loves me. When he comes home they’ll have to admit it! James is very clever. He’ll find my baby. We’ll be together, all three of us.’
She seemed near to tears again so I said soothingly, ‘Yes, yes, of course.’
At this she cheered up as suddenly as she had flown into a passion. It was as if she had forgotten the whole conversation. She even smiled. ‘Do you want to go further? The village is very dull, as I told you. If we go back, there’s a gate in the hedge in the far right-hand corner of the garden. It opens on to the beach and lets me go that way to walk. We could walk there now.’
That seemed a good idea and I quickly agreed. Lucy picked up her hat and crammed it back on her head with an abandon that made me smile.
‘Do I look comical?’ she asked anxiously.
‘No, no, only let me tie the ribbons for you,
‘What consequences?’ I asked.
She scowled. ‘They said that, if I wouldn’t do as bid, they’d be forced to lock me in my room “for my own good and safety”. I demanded to know how this could be for my safety. Aunt Christina said the village women were afraid of me and thought me out of my senses. I might be attacked. Besides I was “sullying the Roche name” with my behaviour. “Outlandish”, my aunt called it. Well, it wasn’t the first time they’d accused me of that! They said the same when I married James. Aunt Christina and I had a terrible quarrel, but in the end I had to agree. If my Aunt Christina says a thing she means it. If I didn’t “act normally”, my aunt told me, they would seek specialist help. So I have stayed around the house and garden and that little bit of beach beyond. Yet still they’ve brought that doctor down from London to peer at me and listen to me…’
And they have brought me down to keep an eye on you when you leave the house and grounds I thought grimly. I am to prevent any more embarrassing scenes with the villagers.
‘It’s been hard for you,’ I sympathised aloud, ‘unable to go out for walks.’
Lucy frowned. ‘They don’t seem to mind if I walk on the beach – or they didn’t until…’
Lucy’s voice trailed off momentarily and she stubbed her boot against a tussock of coarse thin grass. ‘They want me to agree my baby’s dead and I won’t. That’s why Lefebre’s here. But how can I say she is when I know she lives? In the end they’ll all say I’m out of my wits. But it’s a lie. I’m not! It isn’t only about my baby they spin falsehoods, you know. They’ll tell you wicked stories about James, too.’
Her anger was mounting again. Her eyes blazed as they had when she first caught sight of Lefebre. ‘They will say James doesn’t love me! But he does! He’s the only person who ever wanted me.’ Tears filled her eyes. ‘I was nothing, nothing before I met James. He made me someone! He gave me his name so that I wasn’t a Roche any more. But they didn’t like that, did they? They sent him away to China. He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay with me .’
With that she picked up her skirts and ran off down the path. I hurried after her, calling her name, but she ignored me and carried on until we reached the lych-gate where I eventually caught up with her.
She was panting and looked quite wild, whirling to face me defiantly beneath the shingled roof. Her fair hair had fallen loose and framed her face beneath the hat-brim. Her temples glittered with beads of perspiration but she was dry-eyed now.
I indicated the wooden pews. ‘Let’s sit down for a little,’ I suggested. ‘I won’t say anything to annoy you, I promise.’
Lucy threw herself down angrily on to one bench and I took the opposite one. She took off her hat and fanned herself for a moment with it before laying it down beside her. So we sat for a minute or two, avoiding one another’s gaze.
Eventually Lucy, staring down at her hands, muttered sullenly, ‘It’s not your fault. You don’t know them. But I know James loves me. When he comes home they’ll have to admit it! James is very clever. He’ll find my baby. We’ll be together, all three of us.’
She seemed near to tears again so I said soothingly, ‘Yes, yes, of course.’
At this she cheered up as suddenly as she had flown into a passion. It was as if she had forgotten the whole conversation. She even smiled. ‘Do you want to go further? The village is very dull, as I told you. If we go back, there’s a gate in the hedge in the far right-hand corner of the garden. It opens on to the beach and lets me go that way to walk. We could walk there now.’
That seemed a good idea and I quickly agreed. Lucy picked up her hat and crammed it back on her head with an abandon that made me smile.
‘Do I look comical?’ she asked anxiously.
‘No, no, only let me tie the ribbons for you,
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