Animal Kingdom by Stephen Sewell Page A

out with. He knew that was what she was worried about, that she just wanted the best for her daughter; the funny thing was, so did he. He wanted the best for Nicky, he really did, and maybe the best for her was to drop him, like her mother wanted. Nicky had never said that, and neither had Alicia— not to him directly—but it made sense. If Nicky had been his daughter, he wouldn’t have wanted her hanging around with a person like him either.
    He hated his life, everything about it. He hated his mother and grandmother, hated his uncles, hated the shit they were into.
    Why did they make it so hard just to be ? He couldn’t see what was so wrong with what Alicia’s mum and Gus had. What was so boring and stupid about it? It took a lot of effort to keep things like this, with all the shit and madness in the world trying to tear it apart. They were the heroes, not losers like Pope. Not even the good guys like Baz.
    â€˜Hey, buddy,’ Nicky said as she slid the door open and kissed her little brother. She was still wearing her school uniform, and glanced around the table, catching his eye in passing.
    â€˜Where have you been, Nicole?’ Alicia asked, tense annoyance already flickering in her voice. And it was like the magic spell had been broken, and the bare bones of the family feud re-emerged.
    â€˜Detention,’ Nicky said, sitting on J’s lap and starting to pick at his plate just to annoy her mother. ‘I told you.’
    â€˜No, you didn’t,’ Alicia snapped back.
    â€˜Yeah, I did,’ Nicky answered. ‘You had to sign that form.’
    â€˜I signed the form,’ Gus confessed.
    â€˜Oh, yeah. Well then, get angry at him for not telling you,’ Nicky said.
    J didn’t really know why Nicky didn’t see how good she had it. Maybe that’s just the way it is. We never know what we’ve got till it gets blown away.
    After dinner they went back to her room for a while and listened to some music.
    Nicky hadn’t really been in detention; she’d just gone down to the mall to smoke some cigarettes. If she’d known he was there, she would have come home instead.
    â€˜How come Gus said he signed the form for you?’ J asked.
    â€˜I just gave him an old detention form, and he was too dumb to notice it had already been signed,’ she said.
    â€˜Why are you so mean to them?’ he asked her.
    She looked at him, hurt. ‘I’m not mean,’ she said.
    â€˜Yes, you are,’ J replied. ‘They all love you and you just treat them like shit all the time.’
    â€˜That’s the way kids are supposed to treat their parents, isn’t it?’ she said meekly. ‘You gave your mum shit.’
    â€˜No, I didn’t,’ he said, ‘and anyhow, she’s dead.’
    â€˜So what?’ Nicky asked, looking at him.
    â€˜Well, what if your mum was dead? What would you think then?’
    â€˜If my mum was dead?’ Nicky repeated.
    â€˜Yeah. Then you’d be sorry for all the times you talked back to her.’
    â€˜My mum’s not going to die,’ Nicky said, looking away.
    â€˜How do you know?’ J said. ‘One day she will. What will you say then?’
    â€˜What did you say?’
    â€˜Me?’ J asked, remembering he’d hardly said a thing.
    â€˜Yes, you,’ Nick said. ‘If you could speak to your mum now, what would you say?’
    J didn’t know what she’d done, but she’d done something, turned some key inside him, and he said, ‘I’d say that I loved her, and I miss her, and I’m sorry that I was such a hassle to look after when I was a little kid, and that if there was anything I could have done to save her, I would have, but I didn’t know what to do, I just didn’t.’ He wasn’t crying, but there was something inside him making its way up.
    Nicky took his hand and pressed it against her face. She didn’t say