guilt flare just a little. Deliberately, he tamped it down. “And are you ready to kill me?”
“Haven’t decided yet.”
A long minute ticked past and the music kept rolling out around them. Guitars, drums, and raspy voices filled the room and made it seem . . . crowded. Sam walked around the end of the sofa and turned the volume down. When she looked back at him, she took a deep breath and said, “Emma’s great.”
“Yeah. She is.”
“You did a terrific job with her.” She wrapped her arms around her middle.
That admission had cost her. He could see it in her. And damned if a part of him didn’t swell with pride.Why should it please him to hear her say he’d raised their daughter well? Why should what she thought of him mean
anything
? It had been years since they were together.
But, he silently admitted, it hadn’t been years since he’d thought of her. How could he avoid thinking of Sam? Every time he looked at his child, he saw her mother’s face. “She’s everything to me, Sam.”
“She is to me, too.” The words burst from her as if she’d been holding them in all night and finally lost the battle. As she spoke, she came back toward him, her steps as hurried as her words. “I know you don’t believe that. Because I gave her up. But she’s
always
been everything to me. She’s never been out of my head, my heart. Not for a minute.”
“I do believe it,” he said, unable to deny what he could see so plainly in her eyes. He’d told himself for years that Sam hadn’t wanted either of them. That he and Emma had been a mistake. One she’d eagerly corrected as soon as she could. He’d been wrong. He understood that now. “But it doesn’t change what is, Sam. Emma’s mine.”
“And mine.”
A ripple of anger swam uneasily in the pit of his stomach and he forced himself to contain it. “I have full custody,” he reminded her with a calm he silently congratulated himself on.
“For now.”
Shock slapped him back a step. He’d expected her to want visitation rights and had even convinced himself that they could agree on something reasonable. A week or two in the summer—the occasional weekend. But
joint custody
?
“You can’t be serious.”
Her pale blue eyes narrowed again and he could almost
hear
the starting gun going off, signaling the beginning of the battle.
“I’ve missed eight years of her
life
, Jeff,” she said, her words an oath that was all the more powerful for the whisper it was delivered in. “I missed her first words, her first step, her first laugh. I wasn’t there for her first day of school. I wasn’t there to give her cookies when she came home—your housekeeper does that.”
“Julia is—”
“Doesn’t matter how wonderful Julia is. She’s not me. She’s not Emma’s
mom
. I’ve missed too much already, Jeff. I won’t miss any more.”
His control slipped a little further and he scrambled to hang on to it. But she was threatening everything he held dear. Everything that mattered. “I’m not giving her up.”
“I’m not, either.”
He shoved both hands through his hair, and snorted a choked-off laugh. “You already
did
.”
“Nice shot,” Sam muttered, and headed for the kitchen.
He was right behind her, his stride longer, and when he caught her, he grabbed hold of her arm and spun her around to face him. He yanked her close. So close, he could taste her breath on his face. So close, he could see her pulse pounding at the base of her neck. So close that the urge to be
closer
grabbed him by the throat and squeezed.
“Why?” His voice was a growl. A low roar of raw emotion. “Why are you the one woman in the world who can get to me like nobody else?”
She threw her hair back from her face, planted both hands on his chest, and curled her fingers into the fabric of his shirt. “I’m not trying to get
to
you, Jeff. I’m
trying
to get
through
to you.”
Damn. Her perfume wrapped itself around him. Filled his head. Confused his
“Haven’t decided yet.”
A long minute ticked past and the music kept rolling out around them. Guitars, drums, and raspy voices filled the room and made it seem . . . crowded. Sam walked around the end of the sofa and turned the volume down. When she looked back at him, she took a deep breath and said, “Emma’s great.”
“Yeah. She is.”
“You did a terrific job with her.” She wrapped her arms around her middle.
That admission had cost her. He could see it in her. And damned if a part of him didn’t swell with pride.Why should it please him to hear her say he’d raised their daughter well? Why should what she thought of him mean
anything
? It had been years since they were together.
But, he silently admitted, it hadn’t been years since he’d thought of her. How could he avoid thinking of Sam? Every time he looked at his child, he saw her mother’s face. “She’s everything to me, Sam.”
“She is to me, too.” The words burst from her as if she’d been holding them in all night and finally lost the battle. As she spoke, she came back toward him, her steps as hurried as her words. “I know you don’t believe that. Because I gave her up. But she’s
always
been everything to me. She’s never been out of my head, my heart. Not for a minute.”
“I do believe it,” he said, unable to deny what he could see so plainly in her eyes. He’d told himself for years that Sam hadn’t wanted either of them. That he and Emma had been a mistake. One she’d eagerly corrected as soon as she could. He’d been wrong. He understood that now. “But it doesn’t change what is, Sam. Emma’s mine.”
“And mine.”
A ripple of anger swam uneasily in the pit of his stomach and he forced himself to contain it. “I have full custody,” he reminded her with a calm he silently congratulated himself on.
“For now.”
Shock slapped him back a step. He’d expected her to want visitation rights and had even convinced himself that they could agree on something reasonable. A week or two in the summer—the occasional weekend. But
joint custody
?
“You can’t be serious.”
Her pale blue eyes narrowed again and he could almost
hear
the starting gun going off, signaling the beginning of the battle.
“I’ve missed eight years of her
life
, Jeff,” she said, her words an oath that was all the more powerful for the whisper it was delivered in. “I missed her first words, her first step, her first laugh. I wasn’t there for her first day of school. I wasn’t there to give her cookies when she came home—your housekeeper does that.”
“Julia is—”
“Doesn’t matter how wonderful Julia is. She’s not me. She’s not Emma’s
mom
. I’ve missed too much already, Jeff. I won’t miss any more.”
His control slipped a little further and he scrambled to hang on to it. But she was threatening everything he held dear. Everything that mattered. “I’m not giving her up.”
“I’m not, either.”
He shoved both hands through his hair, and snorted a choked-off laugh. “You already
did
.”
“Nice shot,” Sam muttered, and headed for the kitchen.
He was right behind her, his stride longer, and when he caught her, he grabbed hold of her arm and spun her around to face him. He yanked her close. So close, he could taste her breath on his face. So close, he could see her pulse pounding at the base of her neck. So close that the urge to be
closer
grabbed him by the throat and squeezed.
“Why?” His voice was a growl. A low roar of raw emotion. “Why are you the one woman in the world who can get to me like nobody else?”
She threw her hair back from her face, planted both hands on his chest, and curled her fingers into the fabric of his shirt. “I’m not trying to get
to
you, Jeff. I’m
trying
to get
through
to you.”
Damn. Her perfume wrapped itself around him. Filled his head. Confused his
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