And Laughter Fell From the Sky by Jyotsna Sreenivasan

in high school, I was sure I wanted to be a doctor. I thought it was noble to save lives, and of course Indian parents tend to pressure their kids to head in that direction.” From the platter on the blanket between them, he brought a slice of bruschetta to his mouth and took a bite, being careful not to spill any of the chopped tomatoes. “Once I got into studying biology, I felt like it wasn’t really about life. You kill fetal pigs so you can dissect them. And you classify plants and animals, into a human-made system.”
    She nodded, holding a napkin below her chin to catch any drips.
    “It’s not that I’m not willing to work. I do want to do something good for the world, but sometimes it just seems so pointless.”
    Her lips glistened with olive oil. He waited for her to give him advice, as she had at the campus memorial. That’s what most people did when he talked about this stuff. They said things like: “You’ll have to face reality someday.”
    Rasika patted her lips with the thick white napkin and considered the carrots, her fork poised above them. She carefully speared one carrot disk and held it up, examining its glossy surface flecked with dark green herbs. She chewed slowly. She swallowed. She picked up her champagne glass and drank. “Tell me more,” she said.
    “Aren’t you annoyed by what I’m saying? I mean, most people don’t want to hear me go on and on.”
    “It’s your life. If you want to be confused, I guess that’s your business.”
    “Does it make you feel nervous, or afraid, to hear me be so undecided about everything? About life itself?”
    She shook her head. “Why should I be afraid?”
    “I think a lot of people have thoughts like mine, but they don’t want to admit it. They have their steady job, their benefits, their comfortable homes. And if they start questioning things, they’re afraid they won’t have anything.”
    “You’re either having your midlife crisis really early or you don’t want to grow up.”
    “That’s what my dad thinks—that I don’t want to grow up. But that’s not it. I want to figure it out. The other day, I went over to the KSU career center and did a couple of career and personality tests. And you know what? The counselor said I either had no strong interests or inclinations, or I was interested in just about everything. So that didn’t help at all.”
    “You’re so smart, you could choose almost anything and make it work.” It was dark outside, and the bedside lamps threw a warm glow over her skin. He put out a hand and touched her cheek, ran his fingers along her jaw, feeling the hard bone beneath the skin. She looked at him.
    “I had the impression for a minute that you weren’t real.” He smiled. “I can’t believe I’m sitting here with you. On the one hand, I feel like I hardly know who you are. And then, I feel like I’ve known you forever.”
    “You have known me forever.”
    “Not like this. I never knew you were so uninhibited.”
    Her face grew hard again, as though something had closed. “I don’t want to be like this,” she whispered.
    “Why not? I’ve never seen you so alive. I think you love being in charge. You love having your own money and spending it any way you choose. You love picking out the men you want to seduce. That’s who you really are. Why not admit it?”
    “Whenever I ask you about your life, you end up telling me what I should do with mine.” She threw the napkin on the floor and kicked the covers off her legs. “I’m going to shower.”
    He stacked the plates and silverware on the tray and put it outside the door. He considered what she had said. Was it true that he didn’t want to grow up? He straightened the sheets and blankets. He folded his clothes. It was ten o’clock. He called home and left a message that he’d decided to spend the night at a friend’s house. He knew his mother would be worried, especially since he didn’t leave a phone number. Oh, well. It couldn’t be