And Baby Makes Two by Dyan Sheldon Page B

really had been joking. I didn’t know about not being able to fly at the end of your pregnancy, but now that he said it, it sort of made sense. But it would never have occurred to me that Les would book his holiday for when I couldn’t go. If anything, I thought he’d have waited till after the baby was born and we could give him to my nan to look after while we went away. She had nothing else to do.
    If Charley told Hilary he was going on holiday without her she’d have gone ballistic. She’d’ve made his life hell and never shut up till he gave in. But I wasn’t like her . I was understanding and tolerant. I knew that a man needs outside interests and friends of his own. I was tolerant of his need for space. I sucked back some tears.
    “Oh,” I said. “Well, Greece sounds like it should be fun.”
    “It sure as hell should be,” said Les. He took a large gulp of his wine. “I can’t wait.”
    I took a tiny sip from my glass. I could tell by the smell that it was going to give me indigestion.
    “So,” I said brightly. “When are you going?”
    “End of August. That way I get an extra day with the bank holiday.”
    But not enough extra to go by bus, obviously.
    “End of August,” I echoed. The end of August was when the baby was due. I touched my glass to his. “Well, I hope you have a good time.”

Wrenching My Guts Out,
Wish You Were Here
    I had an appointment at the clinic four days before I reckoned the baby would be born. I put on my cool maternity outfit, but the only shoes that were really comfortable were my trainers, which kind of ruined the effect. I put on my make-up and tied my hair back, which made me look older. Then I put some dance music in my Discman and practically skipped to the practice, I was that happy. Only a few more days and I wouldn’t be pregnant any more. I couldn’t wait. I felt like I’d been pregnant most of my life by now. It was hard to remember being able to sit at the table for more than five minutes before my back started aching. It was even harder to remember being able to have a cup of tea without feeling like somebody was pouring acid in my blood. But soon that would all be over and things would go back to normal. The best part was about to begin.
    The doctor told me off for not going to the birthing classes.
    “I thought you promised me you’d try and go.”
    It was more a question than a statement.
    “I know I did,” I said. It was incredible how many people sounded just like my mother. “And we were going to, really, but my boyfriend had to go to the States for a few months. For work. It was sudden.”
    She peered at me over her glasses. “You could have gone on your own.”
    I smiled, sort of shy and embarrassed. “I didn’t fancy going without him.” Which I didn’t.
    “It’s not too late,” said the doctor. “There’s a class next week.”
    By next week I shouldn’t need any classes. By then I’d be a mother.
    Or maybe not.
    The doctor said I’d got the date wrong.
    “The baby seems small, Lana. Do you think you could have made a mistake?”
    I said I supposed I could have.
    “This is all new to me,” I joked.
    She gave me a Queen Victoria smile. You know, like it hurt.
    “Well, you’re doing very well,” she assured me. But the baby wouldn’t come until September. “Virgo,” she said. “That’s a good sign.”
    I got a book on horoscopes out of the library on my way home, so I could see for myself whether Virgo was a good sign or not. I didn’t have much else to do. It was the summer holidays, wasn’t it? Shanee and her family had gone to her grandad’s in Ireland for a few weeks. Les was in Greece with his mates. Even Gerri and Amie were away.
    Plus, I already had everything ready for the baby. It was laid out in my room. My nan bought me a cot, and Charley bought me a pushchair, and my sisters bought me a load of clothes, all in yellow or green, since they didn’t believe I was definitely having a boy. I’d decided