someone else’s heart inside of them. But it wasn’t exactly right for my situation. I think it was more meant for someone grown up and in love for a long time. Plus it said ‘my darling’ in the poem and that would just be weird to say to Levi. I don’t want him to think that I am crazy. I just want him to understand that he is important.
130
Dear Penny,
I think I finally figured out what I have to tell Levi and how I want to tell him. For some reason reading all of the American poetry that Wanna gave me reminded me of a poem I once read in China. I hope that sharing this poem from China with him is the right thing to do because I have no idea what I am doing.
131
Dear Penny,
Sitka came over today. She was dressed in all red and it seemed like she was dressed to be going somewhere important. So I asked her if she was going somewhere special today. She looked confused and asked me why I would think that. I told her that she was wearing all red and that red was a happy celebration party color in China.
She said—
An-Ya, this isn’t China, and I am just wearing red because I like it.
I just said—
Ok.
In America red is just red and nothing more. I should know that by now.
Sitka’s parents were working at the hospital and she wanted us to take Angel Bones for a walk. That was ok with me because I didn’t want to think about Abby and all the things that I told Wanna and Daddy when we were under my bed.
We walked through the woods and toward the covered bridge. I was thinking about what I was going to write to Levi and didn’t realize I was walking ahead of Sitka. She yelled out to me—
AN-YA! Hold your horses and wait for me to catch up!
I asked her what she meant about the horses and she said it was called an idiom. Then we walked together and Sitka went on to teach me more idioms, like kick the bucket and spill the beans and…
I am on cloud nine…which I am not. But I think I made it to cloud seven or eight when Levi held my hand.
132
Dear Penny,
Ellie’s birthday is tomorrow and Wanna is taking me shopping to get a birthday gift. I don’t know what I should get her. Wanna suggested a doll, or a game, or some kind of toy she could play with. I don’t want to get her any of those things.
What I really want to do is write my letter to Levi, but right now I am still thinking about what exactly I want to write. I just know that I want to be able to hand it to him the next time I see him and get it over with. He will either like it or hate it or still like me or maybe hate me.
Sitka better be right about this poetry and letter writing idea.
133
Dear Penny,
I bought Ellie her birthday present. We went shopping in a huge store that had two floors and an escalator. I tried to hide how nervous I was stepping on and off those moving stairs. The only other time I was on an escalator was in the airports coming home from China. I was pushed onto the airport escalators by the crowds behind me. I don’t know if I would have ever left China if those strangers behind me didn’t force me to step on.
Wanna and I went first to the toy section and looked at all of the toys. Wanna kept trying to get me to buy things that weren’t what I wanted to give. In the toy area there was a little girl who was holding a fancy doll and screaming at her mom that if she couldn’t buy the doll, then she wouldn’t ever be good again. I wanted to take the doll and hit the girl over the head with it.
I finally found what I wanted to buy Ellie in the jewelry section. Wanna told me that it is called a charm bracelet. The bracelet has a silver chain and each of the chain loops has a little charm. All of the charms are tiny animals. There is a monkey, panda, flamingo, penguin, and hippo. The only charm that isn’t an animal is a blue flower that sparkles.
Wanna said the bracelet was perfect. I hope Ellie likes it. I don’t know why, but I really want her to like it.
134
Dear Penny,
Today was Ellie’s birthday
130
Dear Penny,
I think I finally figured out what I have to tell Levi and how I want to tell him. For some reason reading all of the American poetry that Wanna gave me reminded me of a poem I once read in China. I hope that sharing this poem from China with him is the right thing to do because I have no idea what I am doing.
131
Dear Penny,
Sitka came over today. She was dressed in all red and it seemed like she was dressed to be going somewhere important. So I asked her if she was going somewhere special today. She looked confused and asked me why I would think that. I told her that she was wearing all red and that red was a happy celebration party color in China.
She said—
An-Ya, this isn’t China, and I am just wearing red because I like it.
I just said—
Ok.
In America red is just red and nothing more. I should know that by now.
Sitka’s parents were working at the hospital and she wanted us to take Angel Bones for a walk. That was ok with me because I didn’t want to think about Abby and all the things that I told Wanna and Daddy when we were under my bed.
We walked through the woods and toward the covered bridge. I was thinking about what I was going to write to Levi and didn’t realize I was walking ahead of Sitka. She yelled out to me—
AN-YA! Hold your horses and wait for me to catch up!
I asked her what she meant about the horses and she said it was called an idiom. Then we walked together and Sitka went on to teach me more idioms, like kick the bucket and spill the beans and…
I am on cloud nine…which I am not. But I think I made it to cloud seven or eight when Levi held my hand.
132
Dear Penny,
Ellie’s birthday is tomorrow and Wanna is taking me shopping to get a birthday gift. I don’t know what I should get her. Wanna suggested a doll, or a game, or some kind of toy she could play with. I don’t want to get her any of those things.
What I really want to do is write my letter to Levi, but right now I am still thinking about what exactly I want to write. I just know that I want to be able to hand it to him the next time I see him and get it over with. He will either like it or hate it or still like me or maybe hate me.
Sitka better be right about this poetry and letter writing idea.
133
Dear Penny,
I bought Ellie her birthday present. We went shopping in a huge store that had two floors and an escalator. I tried to hide how nervous I was stepping on and off those moving stairs. The only other time I was on an escalator was in the airports coming home from China. I was pushed onto the airport escalators by the crowds behind me. I don’t know if I would have ever left China if those strangers behind me didn’t force me to step on.
Wanna and I went first to the toy section and looked at all of the toys. Wanna kept trying to get me to buy things that weren’t what I wanted to give. In the toy area there was a little girl who was holding a fancy doll and screaming at her mom that if she couldn’t buy the doll, then she wouldn’t ever be good again. I wanted to take the doll and hit the girl over the head with it.
I finally found what I wanted to buy Ellie in the jewelry section. Wanna told me that it is called a charm bracelet. The bracelet has a silver chain and each of the chain loops has a little charm. All of the charms are tiny animals. There is a monkey, panda, flamingo, penguin, and hippo. The only charm that isn’t an animal is a blue flower that sparkles.
Wanna said the bracelet was perfect. I hope Ellie likes it. I don’t know why, but I really want her to like it.
134
Dear Penny,
Today was Ellie’s birthday
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