refurbish the castle for me. I daresay she cannot understand a woman who does not care for such things.”
“Shall I let her then?” I asked.
“Lord no!” he replied.
I nodded, satisfied, then hesitantly said, “I also felt that perhaps it was not, well, quite my place to meddle.”
Leslie halted his horse, blocking mine as he did so. “Heather, I know ours is not an ordinary marriage. But I do not ever wish you to feel that the privileges and rights of a wife are something you must bargain for. It is your place to make changes about the castle if you wish to do so. I shall not begrudge you the expense.”
He stared at me and I answered honestly, “But I don’t! As for my position, you are very generous. I should not have been surprised if you had felt I was due less.”
Leslie sighed. “I cannot chide you for how you feel about me. The reason is too obvious.” Then he added earnestly, “You understand, Heather, that if what happened could be undone, I would have it so.”
I looked away, shuddering. “Please. I do not wish to discuss it. Of what use is your regret now? Though I can accept that you would not have acted as you did had you known ... this cannot change what I feel.”
He turned his horse and we began to ride again. At first, Leslie did not speak. What answer could he have given to my words? And I? I was gaining confidence and beginning to enjoy the sensation of being on horseback. It was a beautiful sunny day, and I almost began to feel friendly toward Leslie. It is difficult to hate someone who shares one’s love of nature. “Tomorrow,” he said at last, “I shall take you to some of the cottages on my estate. It means pretending, I am afraid, that we are an ordinary couple. But such courtesy calls are customary and would please my people.”
“Of course,” I said. Then added mischievously, “ ’Twill be a good excuse to escape Mary and her schemes. Truly, what shall I do about her, Leslie? Should she be offended if I spoke plainly?”
“Probably,” he said, “but I suspect it will be necessary. Besides, she will no doubt lay the blame at my feet and cease being angry with you quickly enough.”
I could not bear the bitterness in Leslie’s voice and was afraid to speak further of the matter. Instead, I said, “This mare is truly gentle.”
“So you have ceased to fear her?” Leslie asked. I nodded and his voice became harsh, “I would you could find it as easy to grow at ease with people!”
I halted my mare and said in a quiet voice, “If you choose to be so disagreeable I shall have to say ‘good day’ and leave you. No doubt the horse knows her way back to the castle.” He flushed, then laughed. “And I have chided you for prickliness! Very well, I shall endeavour to be more agreeable. Lord, what a strange couple we make, Heather! My mother would have been horrified by you. She felt a woman’s place was to defer absolutely to her husband.”
“I presume you feel the same?” I asked.
He smiled again. “If that were so, do you truly believe matters would be as they are?”
“I suppose not,” I conceded.
We continued to ride in a companionable silence. When we neared a stream, Leslie suggested we stop for a while. I agreed and we approached the water. He dismounted first and came to help me. I could scarcely keep from flinching as his hands circled my waist to lift me down and as my feet touched earth again I shuddered. But Leslie did not immediately release me. “So small to be so forceful,” he murmured.
I pulled free and moved to stand by the water as he tethered our horses. From my reflection I knew my hair was slightly dishevelled, but I carried no comb to repair the damage. It was difficult to believe that the young woman who stared back at me was myself. I wondered again, as I often had this past week, if it were not perhaps a dream that I should soon wake from to find myself once more safely in Mrs. Gilwen’s school. Or was that too a dream?
“Shall I let her then?” I asked.
“Lord no!” he replied.
I nodded, satisfied, then hesitantly said, “I also felt that perhaps it was not, well, quite my place to meddle.”
Leslie halted his horse, blocking mine as he did so. “Heather, I know ours is not an ordinary marriage. But I do not ever wish you to feel that the privileges and rights of a wife are something you must bargain for. It is your place to make changes about the castle if you wish to do so. I shall not begrudge you the expense.”
He stared at me and I answered honestly, “But I don’t! As for my position, you are very generous. I should not have been surprised if you had felt I was due less.”
Leslie sighed. “I cannot chide you for how you feel about me. The reason is too obvious.” Then he added earnestly, “You understand, Heather, that if what happened could be undone, I would have it so.”
I looked away, shuddering. “Please. I do not wish to discuss it. Of what use is your regret now? Though I can accept that you would not have acted as you did had you known ... this cannot change what I feel.”
He turned his horse and we began to ride again. At first, Leslie did not speak. What answer could he have given to my words? And I? I was gaining confidence and beginning to enjoy the sensation of being on horseback. It was a beautiful sunny day, and I almost began to feel friendly toward Leslie. It is difficult to hate someone who shares one’s love of nature. “Tomorrow,” he said at last, “I shall take you to some of the cottages on my estate. It means pretending, I am afraid, that we are an ordinary couple. But such courtesy calls are customary and would please my people.”
“Of course,” I said. Then added mischievously, “ ’Twill be a good excuse to escape Mary and her schemes. Truly, what shall I do about her, Leslie? Should she be offended if I spoke plainly?”
“Probably,” he said, “but I suspect it will be necessary. Besides, she will no doubt lay the blame at my feet and cease being angry with you quickly enough.”
I could not bear the bitterness in Leslie’s voice and was afraid to speak further of the matter. Instead, I said, “This mare is truly gentle.”
“So you have ceased to fear her?” Leslie asked. I nodded and his voice became harsh, “I would you could find it as easy to grow at ease with people!”
I halted my mare and said in a quiet voice, “If you choose to be so disagreeable I shall have to say ‘good day’ and leave you. No doubt the horse knows her way back to the castle.” He flushed, then laughed. “And I have chided you for prickliness! Very well, I shall endeavour to be more agreeable. Lord, what a strange couple we make, Heather! My mother would have been horrified by you. She felt a woman’s place was to defer absolutely to her husband.”
“I presume you feel the same?” I asked.
He smiled again. “If that were so, do you truly believe matters would be as they are?”
“I suppose not,” I conceded.
We continued to ride in a companionable silence. When we neared a stream, Leslie suggested we stop for a while. I agreed and we approached the water. He dismounted first and came to help me. I could scarcely keep from flinching as his hands circled my waist to lift me down and as my feet touched earth again I shuddered. But Leslie did not immediately release me. “So small to be so forceful,” he murmured.
I pulled free and moved to stand by the water as he tethered our horses. From my reflection I knew my hair was slightly dishevelled, but I carried no comb to repair the damage. It was difficult to believe that the young woman who stared back at me was myself. I wondered again, as I often had this past week, if it were not perhaps a dream that I should soon wake from to find myself once more safely in Mrs. Gilwen’s school. Or was that too a dream?
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