An Ex to Grind in Deadwood (Deadwood Humorous Mystery Book 5) Paperback – September 4, 2014 by Ann Charles Page A
Authors: Ann Charles
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nothings in his ear all night about how I was guilty of every single thing he had suspected all along. I could see them locking me in jail and then dancing a jig together before Cooper ground the key between his molars and swallowed the metal shards.
Four, she might woo Cornelius … somehow. If that were even possible. Crazy Caly had managed it without trying, but I strongly suspected she wasn’t normal, and that had played a role in his attraction to her. Maybe Tiffany could wrap herself in a boa of raven feathers and convince him to back out of the hotel sale before the paperwork was finalized.
Five, she could blab to everyone in the hills that I wore a pushup bra. Droopy Boobs Parker would be my new nickname. Oh, the fun Cooper’s crew would have with me every time they dragged me into the station.
During the drive back to Calamity Jane Realty, I tried to come up with a plan on how to handle each possibility. All the while, I kept an eye out for her Jeep in my rearview mirror. I half expected her to chase after me and try to run me off the road for kissing her ex-boyfriend.
Doc might believe I was overreacting about how bad this could turn, but Doc’s XY chromosome mix made it hard for him to understand how a pair of X chromosomes plotted and schemed. His reminder back at Bighorn Billy’s that Tiffany had moved on and was fully involved with a new man had inspired my scornful laugh in return.
I still vividly remembered the day Tiffany had slapped him across the cheek for walking out on her, leaving her high and dry without an explanation. Only later had I found out it had to do with her mentioning the idea of marriage to him.
Tiffany’s rage that day had surfaced with a ka-boom at the mere sight of Doc, her usual professional veneer buried under smoking debris. I could have sworn in that heated moment her eyes had flashed fire and her red hair had flamed at the tips. But my memory could be partly skewed due to my envy for her perky breasts and incredible sales numbers.
Either way, one thing was clear today from the pinched expression on Tiffany’s face—she didn’t like to share with others. Contrary to what Doc might believe about his ex, I had a target on my back now. I sure hoped her aim was as rotten as mine.
I parked the Picklemobile behind Calamity Jane Realty, checking my reflection in the rearview mirror. My lips needed fixing thanks to lunch and Doc; my hair needed corralling so I didn’t scare away my potential new client. After powdering my nose back into a matte finish, I was ready to impress.
Whiffs of Mona’s jasmine perfume drifted down the office’s back hallway. As I passed the bathroom, a heavy dose of green apple air freshener made me grimace—Ray! I was going to superglue his ass to the toilet seat if he didn’t stop trying to steal my clients. That would keep him out of the way when new customers came calling.
I pasted on a smile, all set to meet and greet, and stepped out into the front office.
“Too late,” Ray called out. His sneer made me want to reach for a sledgehammer.
“Where did he go?” I asked Mona.
“He got tired of waiting for you to finish getting all girly’d up for him,” Ray answered.
“I didn’t yank your chain,” I said without looking at the horse’s ass.
Mona smiled at me, warm and reassuring. If Jerry was truly the brilliant marketer he thought he was, he’d figure out how to clone Mona. “He got a phone call and had to leave.”
“Dang.” I dropped my purse on my desk.
“But he made an appointment to come back tomorrow morning at nine. I wrote it on your desk calendar. You don’t have anything going on then, do you?”
Only a walk-through of a dead woman’s apartment with Detective Cooper. But meeting my potential client rated higher on my priority list than hanging out with the detective. Coop would have to wait until I was finished playing Realtor. I needed to keep my job as much as he did. “I’ll be here by
Four, she might woo Cornelius … somehow. If that were even possible. Crazy Caly had managed it without trying, but I strongly suspected she wasn’t normal, and that had played a role in his attraction to her. Maybe Tiffany could wrap herself in a boa of raven feathers and convince him to back out of the hotel sale before the paperwork was finalized.
Five, she could blab to everyone in the hills that I wore a pushup bra. Droopy Boobs Parker would be my new nickname. Oh, the fun Cooper’s crew would have with me every time they dragged me into the station.
During the drive back to Calamity Jane Realty, I tried to come up with a plan on how to handle each possibility. All the while, I kept an eye out for her Jeep in my rearview mirror. I half expected her to chase after me and try to run me off the road for kissing her ex-boyfriend.
Doc might believe I was overreacting about how bad this could turn, but Doc’s XY chromosome mix made it hard for him to understand how a pair of X chromosomes plotted and schemed. His reminder back at Bighorn Billy’s that Tiffany had moved on and was fully involved with a new man had inspired my scornful laugh in return.
I still vividly remembered the day Tiffany had slapped him across the cheek for walking out on her, leaving her high and dry without an explanation. Only later had I found out it had to do with her mentioning the idea of marriage to him.
Tiffany’s rage that day had surfaced with a ka-boom at the mere sight of Doc, her usual professional veneer buried under smoking debris. I could have sworn in that heated moment her eyes had flashed fire and her red hair had flamed at the tips. But my memory could be partly skewed due to my envy for her perky breasts and incredible sales numbers.
Either way, one thing was clear today from the pinched expression on Tiffany’s face—she didn’t like to share with others. Contrary to what Doc might believe about his ex, I had a target on my back now. I sure hoped her aim was as rotten as mine.
I parked the Picklemobile behind Calamity Jane Realty, checking my reflection in the rearview mirror. My lips needed fixing thanks to lunch and Doc; my hair needed corralling so I didn’t scare away my potential new client. After powdering my nose back into a matte finish, I was ready to impress.
Whiffs of Mona’s jasmine perfume drifted down the office’s back hallway. As I passed the bathroom, a heavy dose of green apple air freshener made me grimace—Ray! I was going to superglue his ass to the toilet seat if he didn’t stop trying to steal my clients. That would keep him out of the way when new customers came calling.
I pasted on a smile, all set to meet and greet, and stepped out into the front office.
“Too late,” Ray called out. His sneer made me want to reach for a sledgehammer.
“Where did he go?” I asked Mona.
“He got tired of waiting for you to finish getting all girly’d up for him,” Ray answered.
“I didn’t yank your chain,” I said without looking at the horse’s ass.
Mona smiled at me, warm and reassuring. If Jerry was truly the brilliant marketer he thought he was, he’d figure out how to clone Mona. “He got a phone call and had to leave.”
“Dang.” I dropped my purse on my desk.
“But he made an appointment to come back tomorrow morning at nine. I wrote it on your desk calendar. You don’t have anything going on then, do you?”
Only a walk-through of a dead woman’s apartment with Detective Cooper. But meeting my potential client rated higher on my priority list than hanging out with the detective. Coop would have to wait until I was finished playing Realtor. I needed to keep my job as much as he did. “I’ll be here by
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