An Ever Fixéd Mark by Jessie Olson

head often impaired
her perception. She felt the endorphin rush fuel her confidence.
“Maybe we could get dinner some time?”
    Ben looked down the river a second time.
“Lizzie,” he startled her with her nickname.
    She felt the coolness enter her brain. There
was something holding him back. Damn it. She didn’t care. “I feel
badly that you showed up and there was no dinner last week. I also
appreciate your attention to my ankle. Whatever you did made it
feel much better. You don’t know how much that meant to me,” she
smiled.
    He looked at her intently. She sensed the
urge she felt at the top of the stairs when he brought her home.
She wanted to go towards him and pull him into her kiss. She was
about to take a step when he lifted his hand and ran his fingers
through his hair. He moved his face back towards the water, but she
could tell he was still looking at her. She knew he desired her.
She knew that much was true. If that was all… if she was to him
just what Eric was to her… maybe… maybe that would be okay.
    “I saw that you are going to see Jack’s band
next weekend,” he turned back to face her.
    “What?” Lizzie was surprised by the fact he
knew that. Facebook. “Oh yeah. Yeah, on Friday.”
    “I’d like to see the band. And go with you,”
he smiled. “I’ll drive.”
    “To Worcester?”
    “I’d enjoy your company,” he returned his
smile to the one she saw at the beginning of the conversation.
    “Okay,” Lizzie nodded. “Pick me up at…
seven? That should get us there by 8. Jack’s band goes on at 10.
The opening band is pretty decent, too.”
    “Sounds good,” the strain returned to his
face. “Listen, I have to get to an appointment. I’ll see you on
Friday.”
    “Yeah,” Lizzie nodded and put her earphones
in to stop herself from lunging at him. She picked up her feet and
ran back to the train. She was elated and confused. She didn’t
understand his restraint. There was honesty in his reaction. She
knew in spite of whatever he was hiding, he was happy to see
her.
     
    *****
     
    Lizzie decided on jeans and a sleeveless
shirt. She told herself she wouldn’t care so much, but she changed
her outfit several times and would have continued to be indecisive
if the doorbell didn’t ring. She let Meg answer it, knowing she was
eager to meet the guy who made Lizzie blush. Lizzie didn’t tell Meg
or Nora about Ben’s mysterious behavior, but figured the
observation of one of them might help with some perspective.
    “Hi Ben,” Lizzie came into the living
room.
    “Hi,” Ben turned around and grinned at her.
Lizzie saw Meg’s nod of approval over his shoulder and rested her
gaze on Ben’s friendly eyes.
    “You’ve met Meg,” Lizzie felt her whole body
lighten.
    “She was just telling me about her thesis,”
Ben made a strange smile. Lizzie couldn’t tell if it was amusement,
approval, or the attempt to curb himself from laughing outright.
Lizzie noticed all the books spread on the table and realized how
the topic probably came up.
    “He actually recommended a couple books I
have never heard of,” Meg explained her enthusiasm.
    “That’s impressive,” Lizzie warmed at the
fact that he was in her living room, talking with her best friend,
and still looking at her with admiration. “I didn’t know you were a
fan of gothic literature.”
    “I’ve had time to read a few genres.”
    “Really?” Lizzie was surprised to hear a man
who built and managed his own company spent time reading
literature.
    “Yes,” Ben came to her side and touched her
elbow. “We should probably get going. Meg, it was wonderful to meet
you.”
    “The same,” Meg looked at Lizzie one more
time before they went down the stairs.
    Lizzie let him open the car door for her.
Normally she hated that gesture. It was too old fashioned. With Ben
it seemed charming, not patronizing. She watched him sit beside
her. He looked tired. His skin was paler, making the freckles more
pronounced under his