life is freedom. Freedom to express ourselves. You do you and I’ll do me.” I’ve been feeling a sense of freedom to be who I want to be, to follow my own path and to make my own mistakes. I think I am at a place where I won’t allow the pressures of family expectations or the society at large dictate who I am or what I decide to do for a living. In the end happiness is what really matters right? I do want to be successful in life. I think anyone who doesn’t want to be successful has simply not tasted poverty. But I want to be successful my way. You would think that everyone thinks like that but believe it or not, Chelsea is the first person who didn’t just agree but fully understood the process going on in my mind. I feel like she’s going through the same thing. It’s almost like both our mothers have created these grand plans that we have to follow. It just becomes really boring at some point. Have you ever felt like that and how did you deal with it? By the way, I have a confession. I am really really into Chelsea and would give anything to be with her. The more time we spend together, the more I realize I can’t control how I feel about her. So here is what I’ve decided to do: STAY AWAY. I think I’m going to avoid spending time alone with her so I don’t say something stupid one day when we are together. The worst thing that could happen is telling her how I feel and then getting rejected. That is clearly a possibility because she does have a boyfriend which I tend to ignore sometimes :). Not that I am that afraid of rejection but I think it will definitely affect our friendship. But then again, do you stay away from someone you consider your best friend? Arrrgggh...I wish things were different. You know what’s even weirder? Her boyfriend is interested in signing me up next year to his father’s record label (nothing concrete yet). I mean that could be my big break after I’m done with college. OK, I have to go finish up a calculus paper, deadline is tomorrow morning.
Thanks, Jamie
JazzyTee’s reply came in twenty minutes later.
JazzChat Inbox Date: 09-10-2010 From: JazzyTee75 To: BoyFromElm
Hi Jamie,
I spent the day painting my daughter’s room. I’m not sure if it looks good but it looks very pink and she loves pink. My sister is coming over tomorrow to help me with the other things I need to install to make it “six-year-old princess” worthy. I have to say, you remain one of the most introspective young men I’ve ever met, which is quite rare for people your age these days. I didn’t even notice that line in the book. I’ll go read it now and come back to finish this email. OK so I’ve just read it and I agree with your interpretation of it. The only thing I’d add to that is this: the struggle to be yourself and live your life based on your own chosen path in life is a continuous one. It follows you into adulthood. We all still struggle with it, adults just know how to fake it, acting like we know everything, like we always know the right decisions to make when we are sometimes as clueless as young people. Anyway, so you got bit by the love bug, eh? It happens to the best of us :). I don’t know what to say to you about this situation of yours though, since she has a boyfriend who is likely to become your boss but I think there’s nothing wrong with sticking around *wink.* You never know what luck might bring your way. Life does have a sense of humor. I’m pretty sure if life was a human being, he would be a comedian.
Have a good one.
Jamie smiled when he read those words, “nothing wrong with sticking around.” He so wanted to, he wanted Chelsea to know he was available in case anything ever happened between her and John. Gosh that girl is so worth waiting for, he thought. He would stick around. Just in case. He finished his soon-to-be-due