Amongst Silk and Spice by Camille Oster

truth was that he'd never loved his son, never had the chance to, and that fact hurt him more deeply than the actual loss of his son at the time.
    It would be so easy to confess the deepest secrets of his soul to her right now, but it could not be, even if she was prepared to receive them. Another thing that tore at him, the idea of a person he could confess those secrets to—the role a wife should play. He'd failed as a husband as well.

Chapter 14:
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    The sandstorm passed and they were on their way again, following the Mohammedean merchants as before, aware that they'd lost half a day worth of water without getting closer to a new source. Water was everything in the desert, anything else was secondary.
    They trudged on for days through unchanging landscape, stopping at a tiny oasis town along the way, centered around a well, where they refilled their water pouches and went on their way. Finally, the landscape started to change, becoming more dramatic with snow-capped mountains in the far distance. The air was changing, growing cooler—close to freezing when the wind turned.
    Eloise felt excitement and dread compete inside her as she watched those mountains grow closer. Excitement because they were leaving the desert behind and dread because she was now on the other side of the great divide between Europe and Cathay, and returning to the mess she had fled from in England. She frowned when she thought of it and the upcoming confrontation with her father, but that was still far away. Now came the lands of the Mohammedean and they were heading toward Kashgar.
    Before long, there were huts and farms, and livestock as the desert path turned into a road. Carts and horses passed them. They were away from the dangers of the desert now, back to civilization, and a different set of perils.
    They would be walking into Kashgar the next day, where a proper meal awaited. Both of them could probably use with some fattening up after the month in the desert, living on grains, lentil and dried meat.
    The city of Kashgar was visible in the hazy distance, perched on top of a hill, built in the same material as its foundation. Minarets poked out of the roofline of the city and everything the eye could see was the color of sand, surrounded by snow-covered mountains in the background. They would be tackling those mountains after the city, making their way through to the Persian lands.
    Anticipation made her restless as the end of the constant trudging was in sight. Minutes stretched to hours until they finally walked through the guarded gate through the city wall. The Mongol empire stretched to here as well, but Eloise had heard that the Mongols’ hold on the western portion of their empire was tentative as well, and there were political rifts with the Eastern portion of the empire. Malik had talked at lengths about the state of the empire. A flash of sadness ripped through her. She would miss Malik, for his wisdom and his friendship, and all the things he had taught her. As well as for the Mongol empire, for her there were troubled times and probably change ahead.
    Kashgar's streets were narrow and filled with every creed. Eloise heard Arabic, Persian, Indian languages, as well as the harsh Northern languages. She saw travelers from Europe, preparing to head out into the desert and the journey she was just leaving behind. They, along with all European travellers, had to stay at a hostelier in the Jewish quarter, and they made their way through the crowded city down narrow streets lined with stores selling all manner of colorful things—silks, glass and shiny metal ware. After the desert and its calm, non-changing sights, Kashgar felt like an explosion in front of her eyes. There was so much to look at, she was having trouble taking it all in. Even the pungent smells were like an assault on her senses—too much to take in at once.
    Camels and horses crowded the streets and they walked into a market space, where Hugo sold the camels that