Among the Enemy by Margaret Peterson Haddix

not, but it was too painful for him to see the hope in her eyes.
    Then let's write back and forth, Nina scribbled back on his pad. You can help —
Matthias tore the page off the notepad, tore it to bits. He shook his head violently.
"They're dead," he said aloud. "Don't you understand?"
    Nina looked around fearfully. Matthias strode over to the door to the commander's office.
    "Sir," he said, "can you send this servant girl away? She's annoying me."
The commander looked coldly at Nina. "Dismissed," he said.
Nina scurried out of the room.
That night the commander came into Matthias's room and sat by his bed.
"People don't understand," he said. "After a loss like we suffered . .."
"No," Matthias said. "Nobody understands."
"You understand me. I understand you," the commander said.
They sat in companionable silence for a while.
"Tiddy was like a shooting star," the commander finally said. "His zest for life was so great."
    A thought flickered in Matthias's mind: Tiddy was a Population Police officer. His job was killing people. How did that show a zest for life? But it was followed by the words, So what? Who cares? Didn't I kill people too?
"We were working on a plan. It was brilliant, the best ever. Now it's almost ready. And Tiddy's not here to share in the glory with me," the commander said. He stared at Matthias, his red-rimmed eyes burning. "Come on. I want to show you something."
Matthias obediently slid out from under his covers and pulled on slippers that had somehow appeared beside his bed. Matthias had never owned a pair of slippers before in his life.
"No, real clothes," the commander said. "We have to drive somewhere."
He waited while Matthias located his uniform shirt and pants. Amazingly, the pant legs and sleeves didn't have to be rolled up so many times; the belt didn't need to be pulled over to the extra hole. Somehow Matthias had filled out and gotten taller while he was lying around being fed and pampered, in mourning. It seemed like another bit of evil on Matthias's part, that he could keep growing after Percy and Alia were dead.
"Perfect," the commander proclaimed when Matthias was dressed, the starched uniform stiff against his skin.
They stepped out into the hallway. Guards snapped salute after salute as they passed by.
"Someday they'll be saluting you like that," the commander said. "Would you like that?"
They stepped out into the night, and Matthias was startled by the frostiness in the air. Hard-core winter had arrived while he'd been grieving.
"Don't worry. They'll have the car heated for us," the commander said as Matthias shivered.
    A car slipped through the darkness and stopped in front of Matthias and the commander. The commander held the door for Matthias, then leaned in and told the driver, "I won't be needing your services tonight. I'll drive myself."
'As you wish, sir," the driver said, and stepped out of the car. "Will you be wanting security behind you?"
"I don't wish to be followed," the commander said sharply. "Is that clear?"
Matthias's heart ached a little as they drove out of the gates. If only he'd left Population Police headquarters weeks ago, the same day he arrived, when there was still time to rescue Percy and Alia.
The world was quiet outside the commander's car. They drove down city streets full of rubble and burned^out buildings. Matthias saw no signs of life in the ruins. He almost could have believed that everyone outside Population Police headquarters was dead.
"The rebellions are over now," the commander said. Matthias gave him a quick glance, and he chuckled. "Oh, yes, I'm allowed to admit that there were rebellions. The Population Police had a harder time consolidating power than we expected. But starving people do not make good warriors. And the weather was on our side. Who can fight on an empty belly in the wintertime?"
The commander pulled the car into a dark alley and turned off the engine.
"Quickly," the commander said.
    He stepped out of the car, and Matthias followed