cried, then hugged some more. Jake and I watched through the games room window as Jenny and Susie were taken to the car with their belongings. I had never felt such despair, such hopelessness, in my entire life. I feared I might never be the same again, and my fears were to o right.
We were not allowed any contact with Jenny and Susie . In the weeks that followed, we asked and begged , but it was decided in the best interest of Jenny and Susie to restrict all contact as this might unsettle them. It just would not register with me . I could not understand the reasoning behind the decision to not allow even a phone call.
Jake and I became angry, which led to an e ven more rebellious personality. W e had started running away from Breeton House on a regular basis and lost all faith in the very adults who were taking care of us. E very time we ran away we were a lways caught, and brought straight back , and subsequently stripped of all privileges. None of that mattered any mor e as far as we were concerned— we ha d been stripped of our family and had nothing left to lose.
As stripping our privileges was not acting as a deterrent, it was decided that every time we absconded from Breeton in the future, the privileges of the other children would be taken away as well. This was a very clever decision on their part , as for a while this did make us think twice about running way. We felt like no one understood why we were behaving so badly . W e would refuse to do our chores, and we would make our way onto the high rooftop an d throw stones off the building. W e just wanted to be understood, we needed to be heard. Jake and I refused to go to school and were soon suspended, as we would just walk out of the premises as soon as we had registered our name at assembly. W e woul d then walk into the city center . When lunchtime came round and the hunger kicked in, we would swipe some apples outside the front of the grocer ’ s shop, running down the street as fast as we could as not to get caught.
Our rebellious and misunderstood behavio u r became of great concern to the social w orkers and the staff at Breeton House. I t was decided an urgent meeting was required to discuss our fate going forward. Unknown to us at that time they were planning on separating Jake and I also.
Over the days tha t followed we were on lockdown. We weren’t allowed to go outside at all, to eat with the other children, and we weren’t even allowed to speak to each other as they had decided to keep Jake and I separated. No one seemed to understand how much we were hurting, no one sat down and asked us if we were ok ay or how were we feeling about the whole situation, or how we were feeling about the separation from our siblings. It did not seem to occur to anybody that all we wa nted was to speak to our sisters; to have a little contact was better than nothing at all.
It felt like we had been punished our whole lives for reasons we did not understand. We began to feel like Jenny and Susie had been wiped off the face of the earth, never to be seen or heard from again. Our feelings were overl ooked, they were not important; there was just nothingness and w e were left with an empty space. H ow did everybody expect us to react if not sad, angry , and rebellious? I more so than Jake had lost faith in everyone, I no longer trusted the v ery people who were taking care of us. I saw adults as separate beings to myself, beings that I need ed to be wary of at all times and never to be trusted.
It was not long before a decision was made on separating Jake and I, and it was a final one , so no matter what we said or how we promised to change, nothing was going to change the situation. I was to be transferred to yet another unknown place. This felt like a final blow d irect into our hearts’ very core. Jake was inconsolable when the news about my transfer was announced. He just could not take it in and broke down. His personality changed dramatically
We were not allowed any contact with Jenny and Susie . In the weeks that followed, we asked and begged , but it was decided in the best interest of Jenny and Susie to restrict all contact as this might unsettle them. It just would not register with me . I could not understand the reasoning behind the decision to not allow even a phone call.
Jake and I became angry, which led to an e ven more rebellious personality. W e had started running away from Breeton House on a regular basis and lost all faith in the very adults who were taking care of us. E very time we ran away we were a lways caught, and brought straight back , and subsequently stripped of all privileges. None of that mattered any mor e as far as we were concerned— we ha d been stripped of our family and had nothing left to lose.
As stripping our privileges was not acting as a deterrent, it was decided that every time we absconded from Breeton in the future, the privileges of the other children would be taken away as well. This was a very clever decision on their part , as for a while this did make us think twice about running way. We felt like no one understood why we were behaving so badly . W e would refuse to do our chores, and we would make our way onto the high rooftop an d throw stones off the building. W e just wanted to be understood, we needed to be heard. Jake and I refused to go to school and were soon suspended, as we would just walk out of the premises as soon as we had registered our name at assembly. W e woul d then walk into the city center . When lunchtime came round and the hunger kicked in, we would swipe some apples outside the front of the grocer ’ s shop, running down the street as fast as we could as not to get caught.
Our rebellious and misunderstood behavio u r became of great concern to the social w orkers and the staff at Breeton House. I t was decided an urgent meeting was required to discuss our fate going forward. Unknown to us at that time they were planning on separating Jake and I also.
Over the days tha t followed we were on lockdown. We weren’t allowed to go outside at all, to eat with the other children, and we weren’t even allowed to speak to each other as they had decided to keep Jake and I separated. No one seemed to understand how much we were hurting, no one sat down and asked us if we were ok ay or how were we feeling about the whole situation, or how we were feeling about the separation from our siblings. It did not seem to occur to anybody that all we wa nted was to speak to our sisters; to have a little contact was better than nothing at all.
It felt like we had been punished our whole lives for reasons we did not understand. We began to feel like Jenny and Susie had been wiped off the face of the earth, never to be seen or heard from again. Our feelings were overl ooked, they were not important; there was just nothingness and w e were left with an empty space. H ow did everybody expect us to react if not sad, angry , and rebellious? I more so than Jake had lost faith in everyone, I no longer trusted the v ery people who were taking care of us. I saw adults as separate beings to myself, beings that I need ed to be wary of at all times and never to be trusted.
It was not long before a decision was made on separating Jake and I, and it was a final one , so no matter what we said or how we promised to change, nothing was going to change the situation. I was to be transferred to yet another unknown place. This felt like a final blow d irect into our hearts’ very core. Jake was inconsolable when the news about my transfer was announced. He just could not take it in and broke down. His personality changed dramatically
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