Am I Normal Yet? by Holly Bourne Page B

then, if you still madly fancy him, you can tell him about the party and invite him along.”
    â€œPerfect,” Lottie joined in. “And then if the date is terrible, you can tell us all about it at the party.”
    I couldn’t hold in my smile as I shot back a message.
    Sure, cinema sounds great. Sat during the day? X
    â€œArgh,” I squealed. “I’ve sent it. I have a date.”
    Lottie and Amber pulled me in for a bear hug and, surprising us all, Jane unearthed herself from Joel’s grasp and joined in on the hugging action.
    â€œI’m so excited for you,” she squeaked.
    Guy and Joel rolled their eyes at each other in an ergh-girls way and I felt a bit silly. I broke apart the hug. “Come on, girls, calm down. Bechdel test, remember?”
    Jane scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. “Bechdel what?”
    â€œOh, don’t worry, Jane. It’s not a test for you,” Amber said.
    â€œHuh?” she asked as Lottie and Amber burst out laughing. Bitchily. My stomach twisted for Jane. I would always defend her…when it wasn’t me complaining about her or calling her names in my head. My phone beeped with Oli’s reply, breaking the awkwardness.
    Sounds good. See you Saturday.
    And we did more squealing.
    The college bell rang in the distance and the others groaned and picked up their bags and litter. I lay back in the grass, a mixture of euphoric and petrified about the impending weekend.
    Lottie stood over me, blocking out the sun. “You not got class?”
    â€œNope. Free period.”
    â€œLucky bugger. You staying around here?”
    I yawned and stretched. “Nope, don’t think so. I think I’m just going to walk home.”
    â€œNot fair. Anyways, come on, love birds,” she said to Jane and Joel. “We’re late for philosophy. See yas.”
    I waved them all away. All of them apart from Guy who, to my surprise, still sat next to me on the grass.
    â€œYou not got class either?” I asked him.
    He shook his head. “You say you’re walking? Whereabouts do you live?”
    â€œAshford Road.”
    He stood up, shaking grass from his band T-shirt. “That’s right near me. I’ll walk with you.” It was a statement, rather than a question. He held out his hand to pull me up off the ground. I took it gingerly.
    â€œOkay, I guess,” I said, wondering what the hell we were going to talk about for the thirty minute walk.
    For the first ten minutes, apparently absolutely nothing…
    We veered along the pavements in a hazy sunshiny stupor. The awkward silence hung heavily over us like a cloud of conversational napalm. It only dispersed when Guy brazenly lit up a cheeky spliff and I sighed dramatically.
    â€œWhat is it?” he asked, blowing out the smoke slowly.
    â€œDon’t you ever wanna, like, live in reality?”
    He looked bewildered for a sec, before looking at the small rolled-up flaming paper in his hand.
    â€œThis is reality. It’s natural!”
    â€œIt’s a mind-altering substance.”
    â€œIt’s a plant.”
    I sighed again. “Whatever.”
    The fragrant smell floated past me on the wind and I tried not to cough. Silence descended once more and I wondered why he’d walked with me. Especially as he seemed a bit pissed off. He spoke first.
    â€œSo, you looking forward to this date then?”
    I gave him a sideways look. “I guess.”
    He took a drag and giggled a bit under his breath. “And this one’s not a nympho?”
    I glared at him. “Not that I know of… No.”
    â€œHe’s just a pussy.”
    My glare intensified. “I object to that word.”
    â€œWhat word? Pussy?”
    â€œYes. It’s sexist. And vulgar. What’s having a vagina got to do with not having any courage? You’re a misogynist.”
    â€œI’m an a-what-a-nist?”
    â€œIf you don’t know what it