stupidly intoxicated seventeen-year-old girls, she’d brazenly told him that she’d be sober tomorrow, and she expected him to make good on that promise.
The next night had come, but she’d been too afraid to go through with it because what if she blew it? What if she didn’t have enough experience to interest him? What if she didn’t turn him on?
But most important, he’d dumped every girl he’d ever been with. Did she want to be that girl, the one who lost him over one night?
So she’d choked. Panicked.
Run.
He’d never given her any indication of minding either way, so she’d figured no harm, no foul. She’d done the right thing because their friendship had been the most valuable thing in her life.
And she hadn’t been willing to risk it.
Even as young and foolish as she’d been, she’d known that much. She’d much rather be in his life as his friend than in his past as an ex.
Now she’d risked all that with her lie to Dee.
“It’s not a rejection,” he repeated. “It’s a time-out. We’re just going to our own corners to think.” He paused. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, I understand. I understand I’m such a bad idea that you need to think.”
“No. We’re a bad idea.”
In her mind there was no difference, and she tried to slip into her car, but again he held on, pressing her into the door, cupping her face, and tilting it to his. At his touch, her body softened. Ached. She had to close her eyes against the unexpected onslaught of emotions.
“Leah. Look at me. Please.”
It was the “please” that did it, softly but authoritatively uttered. Incapable of not responding, she did as he asked and met his gaze.
He ran a hand over his face and rolled his shoulders in an apparent attempt to assuage his weariness. It was such an unconsciously sexy move that it was hard to concentrate on the matter at hand. Which was that she was mad. And maybe hurt.
“You’re one of the most important people in my life,” he said. “I can’t pretend things with you. I tried that already.”
And she’d hurt him. She honestly hadn’t realized that she even could, and she still wasn’t quite sure that she believed it now. Jack Harper wasn’t one to pine over anyone. “I’m sorry I got you into this,” she said with real regret. “So sorry. But I think now we should try to see it through.” She couldn’t have said why she needed to so badly. “For your mom, Jack.”
He was looking at her, into her, but she was good at building walls of self-preservation. Good at not letting people in. In the old days, she’d never been able to pull that off with him, had never wanted to, but in the years since, she’d learned new skills.
“We need rules for this,” he said.
It took a moment for the words to sink in, and then the relief made her weak. “So we’re going to do it?”
“With rules.”
This didn’t surprise her. The big, built alpha loved his control, and he loved rules. Hell, his entire world was run by rules. Not for him, of course, but for everyone else. “Let me guess,” she said with a hint of amusement. “You don’t want me to wear green toenail polish?”
He shuddered. “Hell no. But we have things to work out, Leah.”
“Like?”
“Like the fact that this isn’t real.”
She absorbed the unexpected pang of the words. “Of course not.”
“So no hurt feelings.”
“No hurt feelings,” she said softly. “How do you want to do this in public?”
“There’s only public,” he said. “Otherwise we’re just…us.”
“Okay,” she managed, wondering why she was feeling raked over the coals. “So…in public. PDA. Are we going to agree on a level? Minimal? Moderate?”
He scowled. “PDA?”
“Public display of affection.”
“I know what it is. I just don’t know why we have to figure that out right now.”
“Moderate,” she decided. “Maybe hold hands, greet each other with a kiss, that sort of thing?”
He let out a barely there sigh,
The next night had come, but she’d been too afraid to go through with it because what if she blew it? What if she didn’t have enough experience to interest him? What if she didn’t turn him on?
But most important, he’d dumped every girl he’d ever been with. Did she want to be that girl, the one who lost him over one night?
So she’d choked. Panicked.
Run.
He’d never given her any indication of minding either way, so she’d figured no harm, no foul. She’d done the right thing because their friendship had been the most valuable thing in her life.
And she hadn’t been willing to risk it.
Even as young and foolish as she’d been, she’d known that much. She’d much rather be in his life as his friend than in his past as an ex.
Now she’d risked all that with her lie to Dee.
“It’s not a rejection,” he repeated. “It’s a time-out. We’re just going to our own corners to think.” He paused. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, I understand. I understand I’m such a bad idea that you need to think.”
“No. We’re a bad idea.”
In her mind there was no difference, and she tried to slip into her car, but again he held on, pressing her into the door, cupping her face, and tilting it to his. At his touch, her body softened. Ached. She had to close her eyes against the unexpected onslaught of emotions.
“Leah. Look at me. Please.”
It was the “please” that did it, softly but authoritatively uttered. Incapable of not responding, she did as he asked and met his gaze.
He ran a hand over his face and rolled his shoulders in an apparent attempt to assuage his weariness. It was such an unconsciously sexy move that it was hard to concentrate on the matter at hand. Which was that she was mad. And maybe hurt.
“You’re one of the most important people in my life,” he said. “I can’t pretend things with you. I tried that already.”
And she’d hurt him. She honestly hadn’t realized that she even could, and she still wasn’t quite sure that she believed it now. Jack Harper wasn’t one to pine over anyone. “I’m sorry I got you into this,” she said with real regret. “So sorry. But I think now we should try to see it through.” She couldn’t have said why she needed to so badly. “For your mom, Jack.”
He was looking at her, into her, but she was good at building walls of self-preservation. Good at not letting people in. In the old days, she’d never been able to pull that off with him, had never wanted to, but in the years since, she’d learned new skills.
“We need rules for this,” he said.
It took a moment for the words to sink in, and then the relief made her weak. “So we’re going to do it?”
“With rules.”
This didn’t surprise her. The big, built alpha loved his control, and he loved rules. Hell, his entire world was run by rules. Not for him, of course, but for everyone else. “Let me guess,” she said with a hint of amusement. “You don’t want me to wear green toenail polish?”
He shuddered. “Hell no. But we have things to work out, Leah.”
“Like?”
“Like the fact that this isn’t real.”
She absorbed the unexpected pang of the words. “Of course not.”
“So no hurt feelings.”
“No hurt feelings,” she said softly. “How do you want to do this in public?”
“There’s only public,” he said. “Otherwise we’re just…us.”
“Okay,” she managed, wondering why she was feeling raked over the coals. “So…in public. PDA. Are we going to agree on a level? Minimal? Moderate?”
He scowled. “PDA?”
“Public display of affection.”
“I know what it is. I just don’t know why we have to figure that out right now.”
“Moderate,” she decided. “Maybe hold hands, greet each other with a kiss, that sort of thing?”
He let out a barely there sigh,
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