Chapter One
"Concentrate," Connor said, for what must have been the twentieth time that afternoon.
I closed my eyes and settled in to my chair.
"Let your mind relax," Connor continued, in a slow, even voice, "and when you've cleared your mind of everything, look for the wolf inside of you. It's always there, you just need to quiet your mind and you will find it."
I tried to clear my mind, I really did, but there was no way to concentrate when he was sitting just a few feet away from me, continually talking. Everything time I tried to think of nothing, the void was immediately filled by thoughts of Connor.
"Can you sense the wolf?"
I sighed and shook my head.
"Why not?" He sounded as frustrated as I felt.
"I'm distracted."
"What's distracting you?"
"You are!" I said, opening my eyes. He gave me that roguish grin that I loved so much, and I simultaneously swooned and hated him for knowing just how to make me swoon. How was I supposed to concentrate under those kinds of conditions?
We had arrived at Marcus' property a week ago, in the early morning light, mist still clinging to the ground, and Connor and I hadn't done a whole lot besides hole up in his room and have constant sex. I had barely even seen Marcus. I hadn't really wanted to either. After he told me that I would be uncontrollably drawn to him when my mating heat took me... I figured if I just avoided him I could conveniently forget about that. About all of it. I didn't want to be drawn to Marcus, I wanted Connor.
But Connor wanted to teach me to shift to my wolf at will, and he didn't have a whole lot of patience for my excuses about how distracting he was.
"Let's just go back to your room for an hour... or two," I said, grinning, "and then I wont be so distracted."
Connor suppressed a smile and shook his head, "how many times have I already fallen for that one?" Then he got serious, "Sara you have to learn this. It's what's going to keep you alive. Eventually we're going to leave this property again, to help us look for more werewolves, and you have to be able to shift, or you'll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind?"
I sighed, "no, I don't want to be left behind."
"Then concentrate!"
"Okay," I closed my eyes and settled back in to the couch. He was right, I had to be able to shift in to my wolf at will. It was silly to be so close to being able to do that and to not be able to think about something other than sex for five minutes.
I pushed everything else out of my mind until there was nothing there, until it was just a blank slate. But immediately, before I could even think to look for the thing that was my wolf in my mind, Thoughts of Connor came back, unbidden, unwanted, but unavoidable.
I opened my eyes and groaned in frustration. "It's impossible!"
"You're a terrible student," Connor said, shaking his head at me, "I thought I was bad, but it's going to take you forever to get this. You cant even get to step one."
I pushed myself off of the chair and went to him on the couch. "I just need to get this out of the way and then I'll be able to concentrate, I swear." I straddled myself across his legs on the couch and then leaned in to him, pressing my lips to his, and after a moment of resistance and a low growl he kissed me back, wrapping one big hand around the back of my neck and pulling me in to him.
I ground my hips in to his lap, pressing myself against him. I was insatiable, and so was he. That, more than anything, was what I loved about being with Connor. No matter how badly I seemed to want him, he wanted me more. Our lust was primal. It was addictive, to be wanted and desired like that. Each time he couldn't help himself, each time his lust got the better of him, I fell a little deeper for him.
"Wait," he said, pushing me back gently. I tried to lean in past his protests but he easily held me off with his strong hands.
"What?" I said, suddenly worried.
"I had a conversation with Marcus last night," Connor said. "He
"Concentrate," Connor said, for what must have been the twentieth time that afternoon.
I closed my eyes and settled in to my chair.
"Let your mind relax," Connor continued, in a slow, even voice, "and when you've cleared your mind of everything, look for the wolf inside of you. It's always there, you just need to quiet your mind and you will find it."
I tried to clear my mind, I really did, but there was no way to concentrate when he was sitting just a few feet away from me, continually talking. Everything time I tried to think of nothing, the void was immediately filled by thoughts of Connor.
"Can you sense the wolf?"
I sighed and shook my head.
"Why not?" He sounded as frustrated as I felt.
"I'm distracted."
"What's distracting you?"
"You are!" I said, opening my eyes. He gave me that roguish grin that I loved so much, and I simultaneously swooned and hated him for knowing just how to make me swoon. How was I supposed to concentrate under those kinds of conditions?
We had arrived at Marcus' property a week ago, in the early morning light, mist still clinging to the ground, and Connor and I hadn't done a whole lot besides hole up in his room and have constant sex. I had barely even seen Marcus. I hadn't really wanted to either. After he told me that I would be uncontrollably drawn to him when my mating heat took me... I figured if I just avoided him I could conveniently forget about that. About all of it. I didn't want to be drawn to Marcus, I wanted Connor.
But Connor wanted to teach me to shift to my wolf at will, and he didn't have a whole lot of patience for my excuses about how distracting he was.
"Let's just go back to your room for an hour... or two," I said, grinning, "and then I wont be so distracted."
Connor suppressed a smile and shook his head, "how many times have I already fallen for that one?" Then he got serious, "Sara you have to learn this. It's what's going to keep you alive. Eventually we're going to leave this property again, to help us look for more werewolves, and you have to be able to shift, or you'll be left behind. Do you want to be left behind?"
I sighed, "no, I don't want to be left behind."
"Then concentrate!"
"Okay," I closed my eyes and settled back in to the couch. He was right, I had to be able to shift in to my wolf at will. It was silly to be so close to being able to do that and to not be able to think about something other than sex for five minutes.
I pushed everything else out of my mind until there was nothing there, until it was just a blank slate. But immediately, before I could even think to look for the thing that was my wolf in my mind, Thoughts of Connor came back, unbidden, unwanted, but unavoidable.
I opened my eyes and groaned in frustration. "It's impossible!"
"You're a terrible student," Connor said, shaking his head at me, "I thought I was bad, but it's going to take you forever to get this. You cant even get to step one."
I pushed myself off of the chair and went to him on the couch. "I just need to get this out of the way and then I'll be able to concentrate, I swear." I straddled myself across his legs on the couch and then leaned in to him, pressing my lips to his, and after a moment of resistance and a low growl he kissed me back, wrapping one big hand around the back of my neck and pulling me in to him.
I ground my hips in to his lap, pressing myself against him. I was insatiable, and so was he. That, more than anything, was what I loved about being with Connor. No matter how badly I seemed to want him, he wanted me more. Our lust was primal. It was addictive, to be wanted and desired like that. Each time he couldn't help himself, each time his lust got the better of him, I fell a little deeper for him.
"Wait," he said, pushing me back gently. I tried to lean in past his protests but he easily held me off with his strong hands.
"What?" I said, suddenly worried.
"I had a conversation with Marcus last night," Connor said. "He
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