need to get out of here. Breathe, Molly breathe.
I let him finish and released a moan as if I had finished, too. I had too much on my mind to worry about finishing when I had a panic attack coming on.
“Mm…that was hot.” He leaned in for a quick kiss. I reached for my clothes and started dressing. “But next time, I get to blindfold you.”
I was starting to feel claustrophobic next to him, being surrounded by our photos. I had to get out of there.
“I think I need to get back home, Drake. This was so lovely, and I love the pictures, but I have a busy day tomorrow, and I want to spend some time with Stella before school tomorrow,” I lied.
“Sure baby, no problem. I can take you home.” He smiled and grabbed my hand to lead me down the stairs to the waiting town car.
I kissed Drake goodbye at my door and walked into my apartment. My breathing had quickened, and I felt the sudden urge to throw up. I walked into a quiet apartment and as soon as I saw the loveseat, I collapsed.
“Molly? Mols, can you hear me?” Michael panicked. He knelt beside me trying to see what was wrong. Go away…
“I’m fine, Michael,” I lied, trying to reassure him.
“Molly, what’s wrong?” He could see that I was not myself.
“I love him, Michael. I love him, and I’m terrified,” I mumbled. “I had a panic attack.”
“Oh girl…you have fallen for him. You haven’t had a panic attack in years.”
“I know Michael, but you’re not getting it. I have never loved anyone else besides Liam. I have let another man into my heart, and it scares the hell out of me.” Tears started to well, as I continued, “The memory of Liam still lives inside my heart, and it terrifies me to move on. I feel like I’m going to forget him if I replace him.”
“Oh honey, he will never be replaced. He was your first love, and he’s Stella’s father. It’s okay for you to move forward. I know it feels scary, but I also know Liam would want you to be happy,” he said in a soothing voice. He was always good at making me feel better. Now I was sobbing uncontrollably.
“You’re right.” I smiled as tears continued falling down my cheeks. “I just miss Liam so much, and I don’t ever want to forget him.” Liam…I miss you.
“You will never forget him, darling. He was a part of your life, and he will always be Stella’s father. You need to let Drake in, honey, because he cares about you and you care about him.” Michael knew just what to say, especially during my panic attacks.
I never had panic attacks until after Liam’s accident, and after a year or so, they stopped. The timing of the panic attacks now were clearly my body’s way of processing this newfound love with Drake. Everything Michael said was true, yet I still felt like I couldn’t get enough air. Just breathe, Molly.
That morning I played hooky from class and instead packed a suitcase for Stella and me. I had decided to drive to Iowa for the weekend to see my family, and I wanted to visit Liam’s gravesite. I felt like I had things to say before I could feel okay with moving on.
“Stella, baby, we gotta go!” I called as I was grabbing the last of our luggage. We were only going to be gone through the weekend, but I knew she was going to need a variety of things to keep her entertained on the long ride. Michael decided to tag along with us, as well. It was going to be a fun road trip, but I was ready to get it over with in the hopes of feeling some closure.
“Coming, mommy!” Stella yelled as she rushed to the door. “I couldn’t find my Elmo, but here he is!” She held up her stuffed Elmo with pride.
“Great, now let’s go!” Michael followed us to the elevator and down to the lobby where our cab was waiting. He grabbed our bags and threw them in the trunk for us. Stella was so excited for her first road trip. We rented a Tahoe, so Stella had room to sleep and watch movies in the back.
“Hello?” I answered my phone without looking. I
I let him finish and released a moan as if I had finished, too. I had too much on my mind to worry about finishing when I had a panic attack coming on.
“Mm…that was hot.” He leaned in for a quick kiss. I reached for my clothes and started dressing. “But next time, I get to blindfold you.”
I was starting to feel claustrophobic next to him, being surrounded by our photos. I had to get out of there.
“I think I need to get back home, Drake. This was so lovely, and I love the pictures, but I have a busy day tomorrow, and I want to spend some time with Stella before school tomorrow,” I lied.
“Sure baby, no problem. I can take you home.” He smiled and grabbed my hand to lead me down the stairs to the waiting town car.
I kissed Drake goodbye at my door and walked into my apartment. My breathing had quickened, and I felt the sudden urge to throw up. I walked into a quiet apartment and as soon as I saw the loveseat, I collapsed.
“Molly? Mols, can you hear me?” Michael panicked. He knelt beside me trying to see what was wrong. Go away…
“I’m fine, Michael,” I lied, trying to reassure him.
“Molly, what’s wrong?” He could see that I was not myself.
“I love him, Michael. I love him, and I’m terrified,” I mumbled. “I had a panic attack.”
“Oh girl…you have fallen for him. You haven’t had a panic attack in years.”
“I know Michael, but you’re not getting it. I have never loved anyone else besides Liam. I have let another man into my heart, and it scares the hell out of me.” Tears started to well, as I continued, “The memory of Liam still lives inside my heart, and it terrifies me to move on. I feel like I’m going to forget him if I replace him.”
“Oh honey, he will never be replaced. He was your first love, and he’s Stella’s father. It’s okay for you to move forward. I know it feels scary, but I also know Liam would want you to be happy,” he said in a soothing voice. He was always good at making me feel better. Now I was sobbing uncontrollably.
“You’re right.” I smiled as tears continued falling down my cheeks. “I just miss Liam so much, and I don’t ever want to forget him.” Liam…I miss you.
“You will never forget him, darling. He was a part of your life, and he will always be Stella’s father. You need to let Drake in, honey, because he cares about you and you care about him.” Michael knew just what to say, especially during my panic attacks.
I never had panic attacks until after Liam’s accident, and after a year or so, they stopped. The timing of the panic attacks now were clearly my body’s way of processing this newfound love with Drake. Everything Michael said was true, yet I still felt like I couldn’t get enough air. Just breathe, Molly.
That morning I played hooky from class and instead packed a suitcase for Stella and me. I had decided to drive to Iowa for the weekend to see my family, and I wanted to visit Liam’s gravesite. I felt like I had things to say before I could feel okay with moving on.
“Stella, baby, we gotta go!” I called as I was grabbing the last of our luggage. We were only going to be gone through the weekend, but I knew she was going to need a variety of things to keep her entertained on the long ride. Michael decided to tag along with us, as well. It was going to be a fun road trip, but I was ready to get it over with in the hopes of feeling some closure.
“Coming, mommy!” Stella yelled as she rushed to the door. “I couldn’t find my Elmo, but here he is!” She held up her stuffed Elmo with pride.
“Great, now let’s go!” Michael followed us to the elevator and down to the lobby where our cab was waiting. He grabbed our bags and threw them in the trunk for us. Stella was so excited for her first road trip. We rented a Tahoe, so Stella had room to sleep and watch movies in the back.
“Hello?” I answered my phone without looking. I
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