Alpha Prince by Vivian Cove Page B

cooing.
    “Yeah.” Like I said, it wasn’t hard to figure out. In the Order of the Crystal, everything led back to Crystal Jesus. Thousands or hundreds or at least a long-ass time ago, Xavier Bernard Amethyst Spiral the IV, the only human with a more unfortunate name than mine, ruled this land. He, like his father before him, was the head of the Knights of the Light Crystal.
    (I am just going to let those ridiculous words sink in for a moment, because more of them are coming. A lot more.)
    But Xavier’s brother, Julius Malefic Obsidian the III, wanted the throne from his brother because why not? He was a dick, and that’s what dicks do. So he stomped out of one of the meetings of the Knights of the Light Crystal, packed up his shit, and ventured North, to the land of Mages and Dragons. There, he faced-off against the leader of a barbarian hoard, and stole the Crystal of Darkness.
    Yes. You heard me right. The Crystal of Darkness .
    Anyways, the Crystal of Darkness was the strongest thing ever. When it came out, shit went down. So bad boy Julius whipped it out and there was basically a deadly laser light show and a lot of crystals got shattered. (Tragic, I know). Just when all hope was lost, Xavier discovered a way to seal his brother away for good. Only problem? He’d have to seal himself off, too.
    And so the “Great Unity” was “severed,” and the “crystals wept,” and Xavier became Crystal Jesus—or at least that’s what I call him because it seems to fit.
    So yeah. This was the guy they wanted me to marry. A guy who obviously does not actually exist. Which, I guess, would explain why he didn’t have email.
    I sigh. “Well, let’s get this marriage over with.” I want to get back to binge watching Sword Art Online .
    Kiki’s eyes gleam with a freakishly happy light. “She’s ready. Sister Mercy and Sister Mercury, it is time to start the ceremony.”
    Oh yay! A creepy celebration centered around marrying me off to an imaginary man! Just what every single woman who’s nursing a broken heart wants for her 25th birthday!
    Well, I knew from the beginning this part was unavoidable. I roll my head back and forth, cracking my neck, as N and N carry over the cauldron. The potion/brew/poison smells rank and it looks like the ooze left over from when the Wicked Witch of the West melted. I decide to shut my eyes.
    Kiki grabs my hands. “I, Rainbow, devote my life to thee, our Crystal savior, and shall devote my body to your body of light.”
    “Okay, cool,” I tell them.
    My mother elbows my side. “Rainbow!”
    Uh, did they really expect me to repeat this nonsense?
    I glance around at the expectant sisters.
    Yes. They did really expect me to repeat all that. I sigh. “I, Rainbow, devote my life to thee, our Crystal savior, and shall devote my body to your body of light.”
    “I shall lay in the cave of darkness and offer myself to thee.”
    I shiver as I repeat the words. Ugh. Sounds creepy and cold.
    “So I may be purified and travel to the Crystal world.”
    What the hell? Crystal world? Was that like Crystal heaven? Did they bring me up the mountain to kill me?
    I glance at my mother. She’s tearing up right now as if I really were getting married. Tension leaves my shoulders. Alright, I’m just being stupid. These women raised me and they are my family. They just want to make sure my soul crystal or whatever goes to the right place when I croak.
    “So I may be purified and travel to the Crystal world,” I repeat.
    Sister K squeezes my hands, then releases them with a smile. “It is time.”
    M’s wooden spoon descends into the thick, bubbling, brown-yellow depths. My stomach rolls as she scoops them out into the crystal goblet the other M is holding.
    M holds it out to me, smiling. “Here you are, dearie.”
    I take the goblet, feeling a little like Snow White accepting the poisoned apple from the crone, only this isn’t even a poisoned apple…it’s just the poison. I grimace, bringing the