Alone by Tiffany Lovering Page A

boyfriend,” I said honestly. I didn't know where I was getting the courage to speak to her like this, but it certainly felt good.
    “ Willow, I may not have been the best mother in the world, but I tried my best.”
    “ No, you didn't. You didn't try at all.”
    “ Of course I did!” she yelled. Then, in a calmer voice she continued, “I don't know how things got so bad between us Willow.”
    “ I do. I was thirteen and you told me I was nothing and you said you hated me,” I wasn't holding anything back now. “Of course you had said it before then, but it was the first time I truly believed you.”
    “ I've never said that Willow. Why would I say something like that?”
    “ Mom! Are you serious?!” I was screaming at her now. “Two weeks ago you left a variation of that exact statement on my answering machine!”
    “ I was upset. You had been ignoring me.”
    “ You think that's an acceptable excuse to tear me down?”
    “ Let's stop this right now Willow. Can't we just put the past behind us and try to get back on track?”
    “ Back on track? When were we ever on track?” I stood up from the table, the anger beginning to overpower me.
    “ Please. I'm asking for another chance. You are older now. Surely we can find a way to establish some type of relationship.” I had heard this speech before. She was feeling guilty and was trying to fix it. Not our relationship, but the fact that she was feeling guilty. She'd be a model mother for a week or two and then she would disappear only to return in about a month with a vengeance. It was always short lived.
    “ Absolutely not. It's too late. You've missed out. You have no idea what's going on in my life and I like it that way. You can't interfere that way. You can't go to my art teacher and tell her I was no longer allowed to participate in the Art Club. You can't tell people that I'm buying paintings with drug money and I had never created a damn thing!” I yelled remembering just a few times she had interfered with severity.
    “ How dare you bring that up! You know I was going through a hard time then!” She was standing now too, meeting my gaze with just as much anger.
    “ Listen to yourself! How many excuses can you come up with mother?” I didn't like that I was so angry. I had spent enough energy in my lifetime fighting with my mother, it was time for this to be put to an end. “I'm going to my room. I will come out in about an hour and when I do, you are to be out of here. I don't want you here anymore.” As I walked past her, she grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back. I looked into her eyes and whatever she saw on my face, she knew not to say anything more or it would really push me over the edge.
    I shrugged out of her hold and walked to my room enraged. I couldn't believe she had the audacity to make excuses like every other time. She could never admit she was wrong, could never apologize. There was always a reason, an excuse. I locked the door behind me, went to my closet and pulled out the box. Sitting on my bed, I took out the knife and pressed in against the skin of my left forearm.
    “ No!” Sara said. I dropped the knife, startled. I looked at every corner of my room expecting to see her huddled somewhere, but she wasn't. It was just my imagination. I sighed and put the knife back into the box and went to lie on my bed to stare at the ceiling.
    To my surprise, my mother left before I returned to the living room. I was finally relaxed again, ready to get my life back to some normality. Her coming here had affected me for at least a week before her actual arrival, it was time to wash that away.
    I made two plates of food for myself and for Sara and there was still enough to feed a small army. I took out some paper plates and kept making plate after plate of food. As much as I loved Thanksgiving food, there was no way I could eat all that was left. I decided to take the plates of food to the building where City Woods was. Sara had told