and then we can go to the beach and stuff, right? And we'll have fun, Kei, we'll have fun.
"When my mom died, you know, I wasn't trying to put you down, try and understand, it didn't mean she was more important than you, and anyway she's gone now, and you're all I've got left, right? Let's go home and start over.
"You see what I mean, Kei, you see what I mean?"
Yoshiyama lifted his hand to touch Kei's cheek. She brushed it away coldly, lowered her head, and laughed.
"So ya can really talk like that with a straight face, aren't ya ashamed?
Everybody's listening, and what's that about your mom? That doesn't have anything to do with the way it is now, Ah don't know a thing about her, that time doesn't have a thing to do with it, Ah jes' don't like myself when Ah'm with ya, ya get me? Ah can't take it, Ah feel so small and lousy, when Ah'm with ya, Ah can't stand being so small and lousy."
Kazuo had been trying hard not to laugh out loud. As he listened to Yoshiyama, he'd clamped his hand over his own mouth, then when he heard Kei complaining again, his eyes met mine, and he couldn't hold it back any longer.
"A Persian cat, how about that, that's rich!"
"Yoshiyama, ya hear me? If ya got something ya want to say, ya say it after ya get my necklace back from that pawnshop, O.K.? Say it after ya get back the gold necklace my papa gave me. Say it then.
"Ya're the one who pawned it, because ya said ya wanted to buy some Hyminal, ya got drunk and did it."
Kei started to cry. Her face fell apart. Kazuo finally stopped laughing.
"Hey, what're you talking about, Kei? You said I could pawn it, didn't you? You said you wanted to try Hyminal, you said it first, you said let's pawn it."
Kei wiped her tears. "Oh, stop it, ya're just that kind of guy, so it's no use. Ah guess ya didn't know, how Ah cried afterwards, ya didn't know how Ah cried on the way home. Ya were jes' singing, right?"
"What are you talking about? Don't cry, Kei, I'll get it out, I can get it out in no time. I'll work on the docks so I can get it out soon, it's not gone yet, don't cry, Kei."
As she blew her nose and wiped her eyes, Kei stopped responding to anything Yoshiyama said. Let's go out for a while, she said to Kazuo. Kazuo pointed to his leg and said, No, I'm tired, but she pulled him to his feet and when he saw the tears still in her eyes, he grudgingly agreed.
"Ryū, we'll be on the roof, so ya come up later and play the flute."
As the door closed, Yoshiyama called Kei's name loudly, but there was no answer.
Okinawa poured and brought in three cups of coffee. He was pale and shaky, and a little slopped on the rug.
"Hey, Yoshiyama, have some coffee, you're kind of hard to look at. Isn't it O.K.?
No matter what, it doesn't mean a thing. Here . . . coffee."
Yoshiyama refused, Okinawa muttered So go to hell. Yoshiyama slouched over, stared at the wall, sighed from time to time, started to say something and then changed his mind. I could see Reiko lying on the kitchen floor. Her chest heaved slowly and her legs were thrown out wide like a dead dog's. Her body jerked now and then.
Yoshiyama ran his eyes over us, stood up, and started outside. He glanced down at Reiko, drank some water from the faucet, and opened the door.
Hey, Yoshiyama, don't go, stay here, I said. The only answer was the sound of the door closing.
Okinawa laughed bitterly and clicked his tongue. "Nobody can do a thing about them, it's too late, but Yoshi-yama's too dumb to know it. Ryū, you want to shoot up? This is awfully pure stuff, there's some left."
"No, that's O.K., I'm kind of dragged out today."
"Is that so? You're practicing your flute?"
"No."
"But you want to go on in music, right?"
"I haven't decided about that, you know, anyway I just don't want to do anything these days, don't feel like it."
Okinawa listened to The Doors' record he'd brought.
"So you're feeling let down?"
"Yeah, well, but it's different, kind of different from being let down."
"I met
"When my mom died, you know, I wasn't trying to put you down, try and understand, it didn't mean she was more important than you, and anyway she's gone now, and you're all I've got left, right? Let's go home and start over.
"You see what I mean, Kei, you see what I mean?"
Yoshiyama lifted his hand to touch Kei's cheek. She brushed it away coldly, lowered her head, and laughed.
"So ya can really talk like that with a straight face, aren't ya ashamed?
Everybody's listening, and what's that about your mom? That doesn't have anything to do with the way it is now, Ah don't know a thing about her, that time doesn't have a thing to do with it, Ah jes' don't like myself when Ah'm with ya, ya get me? Ah can't take it, Ah feel so small and lousy, when Ah'm with ya, Ah can't stand being so small and lousy."
Kazuo had been trying hard not to laugh out loud. As he listened to Yoshiyama, he'd clamped his hand over his own mouth, then when he heard Kei complaining again, his eyes met mine, and he couldn't hold it back any longer.
"A Persian cat, how about that, that's rich!"
"Yoshiyama, ya hear me? If ya got something ya want to say, ya say it after ya get my necklace back from that pawnshop, O.K.? Say it after ya get back the gold necklace my papa gave me. Say it then.
"Ya're the one who pawned it, because ya said ya wanted to buy some Hyminal, ya got drunk and did it."
Kei started to cry. Her face fell apart. Kazuo finally stopped laughing.
"Hey, what're you talking about, Kei? You said I could pawn it, didn't you? You said you wanted to try Hyminal, you said it first, you said let's pawn it."
Kei wiped her tears. "Oh, stop it, ya're just that kind of guy, so it's no use. Ah guess ya didn't know, how Ah cried afterwards, ya didn't know how Ah cried on the way home. Ya were jes' singing, right?"
"What are you talking about? Don't cry, Kei, I'll get it out, I can get it out in no time. I'll work on the docks so I can get it out soon, it's not gone yet, don't cry, Kei."
As she blew her nose and wiped her eyes, Kei stopped responding to anything Yoshiyama said. Let's go out for a while, she said to Kazuo. Kazuo pointed to his leg and said, No, I'm tired, but she pulled him to his feet and when he saw the tears still in her eyes, he grudgingly agreed.
"Ryū, we'll be on the roof, so ya come up later and play the flute."
As the door closed, Yoshiyama called Kei's name loudly, but there was no answer.
Okinawa poured and brought in three cups of coffee. He was pale and shaky, and a little slopped on the rug.
"Hey, Yoshiyama, have some coffee, you're kind of hard to look at. Isn't it O.K.?
No matter what, it doesn't mean a thing. Here . . . coffee."
Yoshiyama refused, Okinawa muttered So go to hell. Yoshiyama slouched over, stared at the wall, sighed from time to time, started to say something and then changed his mind. I could see Reiko lying on the kitchen floor. Her chest heaved slowly and her legs were thrown out wide like a dead dog's. Her body jerked now and then.
Yoshiyama ran his eyes over us, stood up, and started outside. He glanced down at Reiko, drank some water from the faucet, and opened the door.
Hey, Yoshiyama, don't go, stay here, I said. The only answer was the sound of the door closing.
Okinawa laughed bitterly and clicked his tongue. "Nobody can do a thing about them, it's too late, but Yoshi-yama's too dumb to know it. Ryū, you want to shoot up? This is awfully pure stuff, there's some left."
"No, that's O.K., I'm kind of dragged out today."
"Is that so? You're practicing your flute?"
"No."
"But you want to go on in music, right?"
"I haven't decided about that, you know, anyway I just don't want to do anything these days, don't feel like it."
Okinawa listened to The Doors' record he'd brought.
"So you're feeling let down?"
"Yeah, well, but it's different, kind of different from being let down."
"I met
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