Allegiance by Wanda Wiltshire

wouldn’t blame you.’ I blinked to stop the tears that were stabbing at my eyes but it didn’t work, they came anyway. This wasn’t right. My being here would only make things harder for him. I turned to flee but he pulled me around to face him.
    ‘Marla, wait.’
    I turned back to see sadness in Jack’s eyes. He bent to put his drink against the wall, before pulling me against him. It was the biggest effort not to put my arms around him. I dropped my forehead to his collarbone.
    ‘I’m sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I should have called you back… I think I was trying to hurt you.’
    I looked up at him. ‘Why wouldn’t you after what I’ve done?’
    He wiped my tears with his fingers. ‘Don’t say that. It’s not your fault. I’m just a jealous idiot.’
    ‘I thought you were okay.’
    He glanced down for a moment before looking back to me. ‘I thought I was too… but… I kept thinking of you and me together, then I’d start thinking of you and him together.’ He drew a breath and let it go slowly. ‘I know you and Leif are meant to be and all that—but… I guess it’s a lot harder to go back to being friends than I thought it would be.’
    ‘We can tell him to make us forget. I’d rather do that than lose you.’
    Jack frowned. ‘He’s not screwing with my head. I can get through this. And, you won’t lose me, Marla. That’ll never happen.’
    Relief washed over me.
    He traced over my smile with a finger. ‘Come for a walk with me?’
    I knew it wasn’t a good idea, but I couldn’t say no to him. I hesitated only a second or two before saying ‘Okay, Jack.’
    He picked up his drink and grabbed a bottle of water from the ice-filled tub, passing it to me before taking my hand. Then, he led me across the pavers towards the backyard, snagging a rug from the back of a chair and shaking the grass from it as we walked.
    It was dark up the back—the only light shining on a bunch of ex-students splashing and shrieking in the pool. We passed them by, and others locked into pairs in the shadows. Still more sat around a fire, drinking and laughing and singing along to the music as they fed the flames with sticks and bits of rubbish. Jack chose a dark corner and spread the rug on the ground before pulling me into his arms and nuzzling his face into my hair. Unable to resist, I wove my arms around him and lay my head on his shoulder. He was shower fresh and warm, his white shirt crisp under my cheek. Quietly he said, ‘You’re leaving tomorrow?’
    I nodded.
    ‘You love me still?’
    ‘You know I do.’
    Running a hand slowly down the length of my hair, he said, ‘I’m going to miss you so much, Marla. This week has been hell.’
    ‘I’m so sorry, Jack.’
    ‘Will you miss me?’
    I looked up and into his eyes. ‘If I had one wish it would be that there was another me to stay here with you.’
    His arms tightened around me. ‘Do you think he’d resent us a few more kisses?’
    I leaned my forehead against his shoulder. I belonged with Leif, I knew that. But right now he was in another world. And it wasn’t even about that. It was about me and Jack, alone in the dark, the firelight flickering across the yard, the sounds oflaughter floating around us and the stars twinkling in the sky above. I didn’t have the strength to resist him and I didn’t want to. It all felt so unfinished. I looked up at him. ‘I don’t know, Jack.’
    He bent to kiss me—my hair, my ear, my neck. Shivers ran up and down my skin. I closed my eyes, tipped my head back and let the sensation of his soft lips smother my guilt.
    ‘There’ll never be another you,’ he murmured. ‘I thought I could forget you but…’
    ‘I’m sorry,’ I said again, letting him press his lips to mine. I knew I shouldn’t but I couldn’t help it—this was my Jack. And regardless of my bond with Leif, I couldn’t just stop feeling this way.
    Jack pulled me down on the blanket and we held each other and later, when he walked me