skimmed the bill in her hand.
“Yes,” I said. I cleared my throat signaling that I needed to talk.
She removed her glasses and carefully set them on top of her bills. I smiled feebly.
“Mom, Dustin wants to take me away for the weekend. What do you think?”
“Well,” she started, and I could see the parent emerging in her eyes. “Honey, you are eighteen and you and Dustin have been dating for a long time.” Taking a deep breath, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “I suppose I should be happy that you’re being honest with me, huh?”
“Mom,” I said, averting my eyes. “Um, I’ve already had…um…sex with him. Um, a few times.”
A pregnant pause filled the room and I was too ashamed to look in her eyes. If only she knew what else I’d been up to…
She laughed which caused me to furrow my brow as I considered her carefully. I didn’t see what was so funny to a mother whose daughter had just admitted to having sex.
“I don’t mean to laugh, honey,” she said as she stretched her hand out to pat mine. “It’s just, not a conversation I expected to have with you. I mean, we did have the sex talk and everything but I never expected you to come straight out and tell me that. I guess I should have known better – you always share things with me.”
Guilt, my constant companion lately, grinned at me. “Um, so, do you think I should go?”
“Do you want to go?” she asked.
That’s the million dollar question, I wanted to shout. “Yeah, I do,” I decided. I scooted up in my chair. “We haven’t spent a lot of time together lately and things are just sort of weird with us going to different schools.” I bit my lip. “And, Grandfather mentioned something to me about Dustin wanting to propose soon…”
Her eyes grew as she grinned. “Seriously? Dustin is going to ask you to marry him?”
I held up a hand before she could start ranting and raving. “I don’t know if he is or not but I sort of would like to be with him this weekend and make sure the feelings I have for him are real. That way, if he does ask me, then I’ll be able to give him an honest answer.”
Maybe I’d intended that statement to be some sort of excuse to my mother, but it ended up ringing true in my heart. Perhaps this weekend would boost our relationship and help me banish Lucas.
“Honey, if you love Dustin and you want to be with him, then do it,” she said. “I don’t like giving my daughter permission to have sex – and I’m certainly no role model – but you are an adult and I appreciate that you discussed this with me.”
With a big smile, I walked around the table to hug her. “I love you, Mom.”
“Oh, honey, I love you, too,” she said. “Oh, and, let’s keep this from your grandparents. I don’t need the headache.”
I giggled and kissed her cheek. “It’s a deal.”
***
I counted the days in my datebook for the third time and sighed, trying to keep from hyperventilating. I hadn’t counted wrong at all – I was supposed to have started on Friday. Stomping down the panic, I closed my eyes as I fell on my bed. I needed to stay calm and relax. Stress would only delay my monthly visitor longer. Besides, it would be quite inconvenient for it to show up this weekend.
But a little voice inside my head was prodding me – antagonizing my fears. Condoms weren’t one hundred percent. And the time in the shower…well, even if he didn’t …finish…inside me until the condom was on didn’t really mean anything. Did it?
Groaning, I sat up. “I took Biology – I know how these things work.”
I pursed my lips in concentration. True, I was usually right on time with my period but it had been late in the past - though never late enough to cause me concern. And a couple of days didn’t automatically make me pregnant. I’d just have to relax and not think about it. If it didn’t come by next week – then I’d worry.
Confident that I had a plan, after I finished dressing, I
“Yes,” I said. I cleared my throat signaling that I needed to talk.
She removed her glasses and carefully set them on top of her bills. I smiled feebly.
“Mom, Dustin wants to take me away for the weekend. What do you think?”
“Well,” she started, and I could see the parent emerging in her eyes. “Honey, you are eighteen and you and Dustin have been dating for a long time.” Taking a deep breath, she pinched the bridge of her nose. “I suppose I should be happy that you’re being honest with me, huh?”
“Mom,” I said, averting my eyes. “Um, I’ve already had…um…sex with him. Um, a few times.”
A pregnant pause filled the room and I was too ashamed to look in her eyes. If only she knew what else I’d been up to…
She laughed which caused me to furrow my brow as I considered her carefully. I didn’t see what was so funny to a mother whose daughter had just admitted to having sex.
“I don’t mean to laugh, honey,” she said as she stretched her hand out to pat mine. “It’s just, not a conversation I expected to have with you. I mean, we did have the sex talk and everything but I never expected you to come straight out and tell me that. I guess I should have known better – you always share things with me.”
Guilt, my constant companion lately, grinned at me. “Um, so, do you think I should go?”
“Do you want to go?” she asked.
That’s the million dollar question, I wanted to shout. “Yeah, I do,” I decided. I scooted up in my chair. “We haven’t spent a lot of time together lately and things are just sort of weird with us going to different schools.” I bit my lip. “And, Grandfather mentioned something to me about Dustin wanting to propose soon…”
Her eyes grew as she grinned. “Seriously? Dustin is going to ask you to marry him?”
I held up a hand before she could start ranting and raving. “I don’t know if he is or not but I sort of would like to be with him this weekend and make sure the feelings I have for him are real. That way, if he does ask me, then I’ll be able to give him an honest answer.”
Maybe I’d intended that statement to be some sort of excuse to my mother, but it ended up ringing true in my heart. Perhaps this weekend would boost our relationship and help me banish Lucas.
“Honey, if you love Dustin and you want to be with him, then do it,” she said. “I don’t like giving my daughter permission to have sex – and I’m certainly no role model – but you are an adult and I appreciate that you discussed this with me.”
With a big smile, I walked around the table to hug her. “I love you, Mom.”
“Oh, honey, I love you, too,” she said. “Oh, and, let’s keep this from your grandparents. I don’t need the headache.”
I giggled and kissed her cheek. “It’s a deal.”
***
I counted the days in my datebook for the third time and sighed, trying to keep from hyperventilating. I hadn’t counted wrong at all – I was supposed to have started on Friday. Stomping down the panic, I closed my eyes as I fell on my bed. I needed to stay calm and relax. Stress would only delay my monthly visitor longer. Besides, it would be quite inconvenient for it to show up this weekend.
But a little voice inside my head was prodding me – antagonizing my fears. Condoms weren’t one hundred percent. And the time in the shower…well, even if he didn’t …finish…inside me until the condom was on didn’t really mean anything. Did it?
Groaning, I sat up. “I took Biology – I know how these things work.”
I pursed my lips in concentration. True, I was usually right on time with my period but it had been late in the past - though never late enough to cause me concern. And a couple of days didn’t automatically make me pregnant. I’d just have to relax and not think about it. If it didn’t come by next week – then I’d worry.
Confident that I had a plan, after I finished dressing, I
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