All the Days of Her Life by Lurlene McDaniel

hemophiliac.
    “Tough break,” Uncle Nelson said. “But I still like him. And I think he’s been a good influence on you. In fact, that whole Jenny House experience seemed good for you. Why did you lose it when you got home and back in school?”
    “I guess I got sidetracked.”
    Her uncle squeezed her shoulder. “Well, I hope you’re back on track for good now.”
    Her mother entered the room and Lacey felt an automatic tightening in her stomach. So far, her mother hadn’t lectured her or bombarded her with dumb questions, and Lacey didn’t want a confrontation now. Yet, when Uncle Nelson left, her mother pulled up a chair and said, “Lacey, we need to talk.”
    “If you’re going to yell at me—”
    “I’m not going to yell at you.”
    Lacey sighed and closed her book. “Look, I know you’re disappointed in me. I know I was in charge of handling my diabetes and I let you down.”
    “You almost died, Lacey.” Her mother’s voice sounded teary. She sniffed and held up her hand.“Wait. That’s not how I want to start. You know I’ve been talking to Dr. Rosenberg.”
    “So have I.”
    “He’s helped me see some things I wasn’t aware of before.”
    “Like what?”
    Her mother laced her fingers together and placed her folded hands in her lap. “You weren’t the only one who had trouble accepting your diagnosis of diabetes when you were eleven. At the time, I thought I did, but deep down I was pretty shaken up by it. You were my only child and you were perfect and beautiful and charming.”
    “Oh, Mom …” Lacey felt flustered hearing her mother’s opinion of her looks and personality.
    “And until that time, you were healthy,” her mother continued. “I just couldn’t believe it. And I couldn’t believe that I had somehow contributed to the gene pool that had made you sick.”
    “But you said that you and Dad couldn’t trace it to either side of our family.”
    “That’s true, but it had to come from somewhere. From one … or both of us.” She was choosing her words carefully, and Lacey could tell that the effort was difficult for her. “If your father and I had never married, then most likely you would not have had the genes for diabetes. You would be well. You would have a normal life without the threat of blindness or kidney disease—all the side effects that go along with diabetes.”
    Her mother was feeling guilty! At fault for passing along flawed genes to her only child. At first,Lacey thought her mother was merely feeling sorry for herself, but watching her as she battled with her emotions made Lacey pause. She’d never once thought what it must have been like for her parents when they’d heard the news of her initial diagnosis. Obviously, it had been shattering.
    “I don’t blame you and Daddy for my diabetes. And if you hadn’t married each other, then I wouldn’t be
me
, would I?”
    “That’s exactly what Dr. Rosenberg said too. But it still bothers me.”
    “Are you sorry you ever had me?”
    Her mother reached over and grabbed Lacey’s hand. “Never think such a thing. I love you and these past few days have been a nightmare. You were in critical condition and Nelson was very worried. He was totally honest with us. When I think how close I came to losing you …”
    Lacey felt her own heart trip a beat. Had she truly been that close to dying? “I didn’t mean to worry you or Dad. And I’ll be more careful in the future.”
    “That’s another thing. I know I haven’t been the best at helping you manage your diabetes these past few years.”
    “It was my job.”
    “It was
our
job. Dr. Rosenberg says that some parents completely take over their child’s illness, managing every aspect, worrying every time there’s an elevated blood sugar reading, making their child so dependent and fearful that she can’t function in the real world.”
    “You and Dad never did
that.”
    “No. I became the other kind of parent. I decided it was best to let you