And part of that was a mistake. And one I fixed. I’m not hiding from that anymore. I’m different, yes, but who I was, where I grew up and how, it’s all part of who I am now. It just took me a while to get there. I’m sorry she had to wait four years to hear my condolences and I’m sorry you went through that without me. I’m ashamed you had to do it alone.”
“I had people around me who I could count on. We all learned things from you leaving.”
Hatch flinched. But it was true. Hatch had ripped part of her out and left her reeling. Watching her father die, her mother waste away while her other father had his own grief to deal with but had to push it aside to keep her mother from simply letting go. All her life until that point she had leaned on Hatch. Trusted him to be there when she needed him to be. And he left.
“I survived. She survived and I know her, she’ll be happy to get your letter. She still loves you.”
“What about you?”
“Part of me will always love you. But I don’t trust you, Hatch.”
He sucked in a breath. “I’m back. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re not back, Hatch. You two showed up for harvest. That I was here was a coincidence. You don’t get to claim credit for being back. That’s not what this is.”
“It didn’t start out that way, no. I love you, Summer. I never stopped loving you. I made mistakes. I’m still realizing just how big those mistakes were. But I found you again. Charlie said it and I believe it. We were meant to be here, where you were. Were meant to find you. I want you to trust me. You can trust me.”
“Let me ask you something. Why didn’t you try to find me before now?”
“I don’t know. I missed you. I just figured you were in Portland and you’d found someone else. I figured you were happy and I didn’t want to screw that up.”
She kept looking at him.
“What?”
“I don’t want to see you again until you’re ready to tell me the whole truth.” She looked to Charlie. “You either.”
“What? Why do I get punished?”
She looked at Charlie. “You and he are a team. I tried to be with one person who was already with someone else and it didn’t work. That and you’re allied with him. You’re on his side and while that’s awesome for you both, you make the choice to do it, you’re stuck with all he does.”
Charlie looked around her to Hatch. “Tell her.”
“ I was happy .” Hatch blurted it and when he saw her face he was sorry he had. But she wanted honesty and maybe it was the way to trust between them. He didn’t deserve her but he wanted her, damn it.
“I’m not lying when I say I figured you’d settled down by now. I mean, you’re beautiful and intelligent and you’re good with people. You’re the settling down type and I wasn’t that guy. Not then. Not until very recently and only because of you.” He shook his head. “I thought that and maybe I let myself keep thinking it instead of asking myself if it was worth finding you. Maybe I didn’t want to face this.” He waved a hand between them. “I was a dick and now I have to own it and see your face knowing I’m the one who put that pain there. I walked away and while I did think of you and I did miss you, I was happy. It wasn’t until the last half a year or so that I started really thinking about putting down roots.
“The honest truth is that once I saw you again I knew that I’d been hiding from the truth. I never got over you. And I was a shit and I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to love you. I want you to love me. I hate that I upset you.”
“This is moving very fast.” She was speaking very carefully and he knew her, knew she did it because she was on the verge of tears.
“Don’t break things off.” Charlie took her hand. “We’re all trying right now to make this work. Don’t give up.”
“I’m not giving up. I’m just saying this is too fast. All this love talk and putting down roots stuff.
“I had people around me who I could count on. We all learned things from you leaving.”
Hatch flinched. But it was true. Hatch had ripped part of her out and left her reeling. Watching her father die, her mother waste away while her other father had his own grief to deal with but had to push it aside to keep her mother from simply letting go. All her life until that point she had leaned on Hatch. Trusted him to be there when she needed him to be. And he left.
“I survived. She survived and I know her, she’ll be happy to get your letter. She still loves you.”
“What about you?”
“Part of me will always love you. But I don’t trust you, Hatch.”
He sucked in a breath. “I’m back. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re not back, Hatch. You two showed up for harvest. That I was here was a coincidence. You don’t get to claim credit for being back. That’s not what this is.”
“It didn’t start out that way, no. I love you, Summer. I never stopped loving you. I made mistakes. I’m still realizing just how big those mistakes were. But I found you again. Charlie said it and I believe it. We were meant to be here, where you were. Were meant to find you. I want you to trust me. You can trust me.”
“Let me ask you something. Why didn’t you try to find me before now?”
“I don’t know. I missed you. I just figured you were in Portland and you’d found someone else. I figured you were happy and I didn’t want to screw that up.”
She kept looking at him.
“What?”
“I don’t want to see you again until you’re ready to tell me the whole truth.” She looked to Charlie. “You either.”
“What? Why do I get punished?”
She looked at Charlie. “You and he are a team. I tried to be with one person who was already with someone else and it didn’t work. That and you’re allied with him. You’re on his side and while that’s awesome for you both, you make the choice to do it, you’re stuck with all he does.”
Charlie looked around her to Hatch. “Tell her.”
“ I was happy .” Hatch blurted it and when he saw her face he was sorry he had. But she wanted honesty and maybe it was the way to trust between them. He didn’t deserve her but he wanted her, damn it.
“I’m not lying when I say I figured you’d settled down by now. I mean, you’re beautiful and intelligent and you’re good with people. You’re the settling down type and I wasn’t that guy. Not then. Not until very recently and only because of you.” He shook his head. “I thought that and maybe I let myself keep thinking it instead of asking myself if it was worth finding you. Maybe I didn’t want to face this.” He waved a hand between them. “I was a dick and now I have to own it and see your face knowing I’m the one who put that pain there. I walked away and while I did think of you and I did miss you, I was happy. It wasn’t until the last half a year or so that I started really thinking about putting down roots.
“The honest truth is that once I saw you again I knew that I’d been hiding from the truth. I never got over you. And I was a shit and I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you. I want to love you. I want you to love me. I hate that I upset you.”
“This is moving very fast.” She was speaking very carefully and he knew her, knew she did it because she was on the verge of tears.
“Don’t break things off.” Charlie took her hand. “We’re all trying right now to make this work. Don’t give up.”
“I’m not giving up. I’m just saying this is too fast. All this love talk and putting down roots stuff.
Similar Books
