and she cooked him dinner—something they had planned in advance.
And today. Of course it was a date, they had already decided they were telling everyone they were in a relationship. They even agreed they were beyond dating. So worst case he was at four. Because today counted in his mind, too. He didn’t care that his entire family was around.
“Relax, Phil. I’m not holding you to it,” she said, chuckling.
“No. We’ll do it your way. What’s a few more weeks, right? It’s not like it hasn’t been longer.”
***
Later that night, getting ready for bed, Sophia thought back on the conversation with Phil. She would never make him wait the ten dates.
Even if they hadn’t already slept together, he was the exception to the rule. She was right when she told him he wasn’t a stranger to her. But it wasn’t that, it was more than that. Emotionally, he was worlds above what she felt for anyone else in her life.
The ten-date rule was silly really, but she didn’t want to be like her mother. Sophia wasn’t stupid, she knew most men looked at her and thought of only one thing—sex. So she went the opposite of those assumptions and held out longer.
The fact that Phil knew her well enough to know what she and Kaitlin were talking about was proof enough. No one in her life knew that much about her. Not even her parents.
She wasn’t neglected as a child, not at all. She was always with one parent or another, not to mention a new stepparent. She always had some kind of a sibling around to play with or hang out with.
The best of everything, she’d always received it. Her parents constantly had to one-up the other. If her mother spent one hundred dollars on shoes for her as a child, then the next week her father spent two hundred. It was like that her whole life.
She got whatever she wanted, went on some pretty fantastic vacations as a child, and lived in some beautiful houses along the way. Her parents loved her. The way any child in the middle of a nasty divorce could be loved.
She was the yo-yo that was bounced between them. One day loving her and coddling her, showing her off to their new significant other to prove how devoted they were. Then when her father’s new wife decided she wanted to be a mother to her own child, Sophia would be sent back to her mom. Back to visitations with her father.
When her mother’s new boyfriend wanted to jet set around the world, she would be sent to a private school, then flown out on breaks to visit Paris and Italy. Or wherever they were at the time.
Then when her father’s next wife had a child from a previous marriage and wanted Sophia around as a playmate, she found herself back with him.
Nonstop she moved. It was the norm in her life. She was loved plenty, by everyone. Even her stepparents. No one hated her and no one treated her badly, but she knew deep down she was only accepted as a way to get to her parents. Or for her parents to get at each other.
No one had ever loved her for her. She was the pawn used to get them what they wanted at those points in their life. At the time she accepted it.
Of course, no one was the wiser, either. They thought she was an accepting child. So willing to open her arms to another stepparent or boyfriend/girlfriend of her parents. In all honesty, it was her survival mode.
She was lucky in that she had learned to adapt so easily. It helped with all the transitions in her life. And those acts—or masks she wore—often led people to believe she was content to go where they sent her.
Even all the psychotherapists her parents had lined up for her along the way said she was a well-adjusted child.
But deep down, she just wanted to be loved for her, and her only. No pawn, no purpose, no reason. Just because.
Which brought her back to Phil. He knew things about her that no one else did. Even Kaitlin, if she were honest. And it made her believe she had actually found someone to give her what she really wanted. That perfect
And today. Of course it was a date, they had already decided they were telling everyone they were in a relationship. They even agreed they were beyond dating. So worst case he was at four. Because today counted in his mind, too. He didn’t care that his entire family was around.
“Relax, Phil. I’m not holding you to it,” she said, chuckling.
“No. We’ll do it your way. What’s a few more weeks, right? It’s not like it hasn’t been longer.”
***
Later that night, getting ready for bed, Sophia thought back on the conversation with Phil. She would never make him wait the ten dates.
Even if they hadn’t already slept together, he was the exception to the rule. She was right when she told him he wasn’t a stranger to her. But it wasn’t that, it was more than that. Emotionally, he was worlds above what she felt for anyone else in her life.
The ten-date rule was silly really, but she didn’t want to be like her mother. Sophia wasn’t stupid, she knew most men looked at her and thought of only one thing—sex. So she went the opposite of those assumptions and held out longer.
The fact that Phil knew her well enough to know what she and Kaitlin were talking about was proof enough. No one in her life knew that much about her. Not even her parents.
She wasn’t neglected as a child, not at all. She was always with one parent or another, not to mention a new stepparent. She always had some kind of a sibling around to play with or hang out with.
The best of everything, she’d always received it. Her parents constantly had to one-up the other. If her mother spent one hundred dollars on shoes for her as a child, then the next week her father spent two hundred. It was like that her whole life.
She got whatever she wanted, went on some pretty fantastic vacations as a child, and lived in some beautiful houses along the way. Her parents loved her. The way any child in the middle of a nasty divorce could be loved.
She was the yo-yo that was bounced between them. One day loving her and coddling her, showing her off to their new significant other to prove how devoted they were. Then when her father’s new wife decided she wanted to be a mother to her own child, Sophia would be sent back to her mom. Back to visitations with her father.
When her mother’s new boyfriend wanted to jet set around the world, she would be sent to a private school, then flown out on breaks to visit Paris and Italy. Or wherever they were at the time.
Then when her father’s next wife had a child from a previous marriage and wanted Sophia around as a playmate, she found herself back with him.
Nonstop she moved. It was the norm in her life. She was loved plenty, by everyone. Even her stepparents. No one hated her and no one treated her badly, but she knew deep down she was only accepted as a way to get to her parents. Or for her parents to get at each other.
No one had ever loved her for her. She was the pawn used to get them what they wanted at those points in their life. At the time she accepted it.
Of course, no one was the wiser, either. They thought she was an accepting child. So willing to open her arms to another stepparent or boyfriend/girlfriend of her parents. In all honesty, it was her survival mode.
She was lucky in that she had learned to adapt so easily. It helped with all the transitions in her life. And those acts—or masks she wore—often led people to believe she was content to go where they sent her.
Even all the psychotherapists her parents had lined up for her along the way said she was a well-adjusted child.
But deep down, she just wanted to be loved for her, and her only. No pawn, no purpose, no reason. Just because.
Which brought her back to Phil. He knew things about her that no one else did. Even Kaitlin, if she were honest. And it made her believe she had actually found someone to give her what she really wanted. That perfect
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