this. My brother had great style, but this car will trigger her memories, and I don ’ t want that. ”
Jacob suggests we get some pizza and buzz for later in the week, so we head to the supermarket. Jhonny has some good shit and I ’ m planning to get stoned because I don ’ t want to feel anything. Then I remember the letter that I sent to India before we left. She probably received it on Saturday. My stomach feels like it ’ s filled with a pile of bricks because now I know that this isn ’ t going to be enough. I don ’ t want to think about Gargle. So, while sitting in the car that ’ s parked in front of our doorstep, I open a beer and drink to shut down the roaring guilt, to ease off the pressure and needles in my heart.
“ Oh crap, don ’ t tell me that she ’ s really here, ” Jacob murmurs.
Dora shows up from around the corner, looking pissed, like a baby that is just about to start screaming. This doesn ’ t look good at all for my friend sitting next to me. That frown in the middle of her forehead deepens as she spots my car.
“ What ’ s her problem anyway? I thought that you two needed space? ”
“ Can you actually get any space from girl like Dora? She is more determined than anyone I ever knew. ”
We both get out of the car and I can see how Dora ’ s face changes from red to ashen as her eyes move around the Audi. She fucking knows about Christian, she has to.
“ Jacob, where the hell have you been the whole weekend? ” she snarls, eyeing me with those angry eyes.
“ Dora, give it a rest. I went with Oliver to visit his mother. Besides, I don ’ t need to explain myself to you. ”
“ So you ’ re choosing him after what he ’ s done to India? He doesn ’ t deserve your friendship. He is a dirty, fucked-up psycho, worse than his own brother. ”
“ Shut your mouth, Dora! I ’ m nothing like my brother! ” I bark, running my hand through my hair. I say that I ’ m not like him, but after today I start believing that I might be worse than him.
“ If you were different you never would have done anything to hurt India, ” she yells in the middle of the street.
“ Dora, let ’ s just go, ” says Jacob. “ We will talk about this at home. ”
She curses, calling me a few more names, but finally agrees to go with Jacob, who mutters a silent apology. I stand in the entrance of our house, watching as they drive off. Jacob has to keep Dora happy. He cares for her too much.
A few minutes later it starts drizzling and the harsh crisp wind blows my hair. The weather has turned for the worse because I came back. Regret, warm, solid and deep, settles in my stomach when I think about all the lost years when I thought that I was happy being away from Gargle. The time when I started moving away from that Goth look and started fucking every girl with long, skinny legs. During that time it was all about memories. Memories about India kept fucking with my head. Every girl that I looked at reminded me of India.
Past
“ Take off your bra; I want to see you naked, ” I ordered a pretty, blond-haired bird that I brought home straight after rugby practice. I had been in Braxton only a couple of days and it was exactly how India had always described it. Quiet and whacky at the same time. It had been a few months since I started working out. It wasn ’ t long after Christian died that a trainer from another town saw something in me and I started playing mostly on weekends and some evenings, travelling thirty miles each way. Yeah, after years of watching and practicing with Christian I gained some skills and got lucky. A scout spotted me and the rest was history. The scholarship was in my hands and I was in Scotland first, then in Braxton. I was supposed to be living that perfect life.
The girl in front of me giggled, biting her lip in that sexy manner. Then she pulled her hair behind her ears. She had nice eyes, but when I stared at her I had the image of India in front of me.
Jacob suggests we get some pizza and buzz for later in the week, so we head to the supermarket. Jhonny has some good shit and I ’ m planning to get stoned because I don ’ t want to feel anything. Then I remember the letter that I sent to India before we left. She probably received it on Saturday. My stomach feels like it ’ s filled with a pile of bricks because now I know that this isn ’ t going to be enough. I don ’ t want to think about Gargle. So, while sitting in the car that ’ s parked in front of our doorstep, I open a beer and drink to shut down the roaring guilt, to ease off the pressure and needles in my heart.
“ Oh crap, don ’ t tell me that she ’ s really here, ” Jacob murmurs.
Dora shows up from around the corner, looking pissed, like a baby that is just about to start screaming. This doesn ’ t look good at all for my friend sitting next to me. That frown in the middle of her forehead deepens as she spots my car.
“ What ’ s her problem anyway? I thought that you two needed space? ”
“ Can you actually get any space from girl like Dora? She is more determined than anyone I ever knew. ”
We both get out of the car and I can see how Dora ’ s face changes from red to ashen as her eyes move around the Audi. She fucking knows about Christian, she has to.
“ Jacob, where the hell have you been the whole weekend? ” she snarls, eyeing me with those angry eyes.
“ Dora, give it a rest. I went with Oliver to visit his mother. Besides, I don ’ t need to explain myself to you. ”
“ So you ’ re choosing him after what he ’ s done to India? He doesn ’ t deserve your friendship. He is a dirty, fucked-up psycho, worse than his own brother. ”
“ Shut your mouth, Dora! I ’ m nothing like my brother! ” I bark, running my hand through my hair. I say that I ’ m not like him, but after today I start believing that I might be worse than him.
“ If you were different you never would have done anything to hurt India, ” she yells in the middle of the street.
“ Dora, let ’ s just go, ” says Jacob. “ We will talk about this at home. ”
She curses, calling me a few more names, but finally agrees to go with Jacob, who mutters a silent apology. I stand in the entrance of our house, watching as they drive off. Jacob has to keep Dora happy. He cares for her too much.
A few minutes later it starts drizzling and the harsh crisp wind blows my hair. The weather has turned for the worse because I came back. Regret, warm, solid and deep, settles in my stomach when I think about all the lost years when I thought that I was happy being away from Gargle. The time when I started moving away from that Goth look and started fucking every girl with long, skinny legs. During that time it was all about memories. Memories about India kept fucking with my head. Every girl that I looked at reminded me of India.
Past
“ Take off your bra; I want to see you naked, ” I ordered a pretty, blond-haired bird that I brought home straight after rugby practice. I had been in Braxton only a couple of days and it was exactly how India had always described it. Quiet and whacky at the same time. It had been a few months since I started working out. It wasn ’ t long after Christian died that a trainer from another town saw something in me and I started playing mostly on weekends and some evenings, travelling thirty miles each way. Yeah, after years of watching and practicing with Christian I gained some skills and got lucky. A scout spotted me and the rest was history. The scholarship was in my hands and I was in Scotland first, then in Braxton. I was supposed to be living that perfect life.
The girl in front of me giggled, biting her lip in that sexy manner. Then she pulled her hair behind her ears. She had nice eyes, but when I stared at her I had the image of India in front of me.
Similar Books
