He’d like to give the smug assholes who worked out at the Pine Woods Centre for Well Being a ready and working case file if they came to collect her. Something to show them he wasn’t just some transition doctor working patchwork psychology on emergency room rejects and junkies. Thank you doctor, we’ll take it from here , they’d say, as though administering institutionalized medicine made them the Alpha and Omega of mental health.
It was petty, and he scolded himself for thinking that way. Of course the only thing that mattered was for Alice to get the help she needed to cope with her life. Still, he’d been at this job a long time. It was important, to be on the front lines, working in a hospital for a major city, but it didn’t always let him sink his fingers into his work the way he’d like to. The dismissive attitudes of his peers didn’t really help things any.
Dr Weller sighed. He closed the folder marked Pleasance, Alice and tossed it to the side. He swished his cold coffee, staring down at the reflection in the bottom of the cup. A tired face looked back. Rippled in the coffee. He’d been here too long maybe. He’d bled for this job, and his life had suffered because of it. He’d been held back while his peers had simply climbed around him up the ladder of success.
He’d never married, either. He supposed that had something to do with his present attitude. His funk , as his mom would have said. Boy look at the way your face is dragging on the ground , she’d say. That must be some funk you got there .
It was futile to spend too much time dwelling on this stuff. He knew that. Good Mental Health 101 – don’t dwell too much on the Negative Aspects of Positive Being. Was that a Bad Religion song? Something like that. If he didn’t have the heart for his work anymore, he would have to find new work or else find his heart. He was fast approaching the crested hill marked 50 though, and the sign read Caution: this road is closer to the end of the line than it looks . He was over qualified for anything other than what he was doing right now, and too close to retirement to start thinking of a new career. He supposed he could look at a change of scenery, apply at the Pine Woods Centre himself and take on long term patients. That might be just about as bad, since he’d be the low man on the totem pole and likely would remain that way until he retired.
He drank the swish out of his mug. Rubbed the coffee smell from his moustache and flipped through the Pleasance, Alice folder again. There was something to this girl. Something about the way her switch had gone off. His intuition was telling him there was a story here somewhere.
If only Alice trusted him enough to talk about her life…
Oh but she has , his mother’s voice said. She was ranting about killing someone .
He wasn’t so sure. It may have been all part of the psychotic episode.
What does your heart tell you?
His heart told him nothing. He hadn’t heard from it in a long time. If it wasn’t for the pulse pounding headaches he got from stress, he’d honestly doubt if it was even there anymore.
Chapter 10
When Alice finally opened her eyes again she was greeted with a miserable stiffness running the entire length of her body. She was also greeted with the sweet, smiling face of Dorothy, sitting in a chair beside her bed with a magazine and Toto in her lap.
There was a black gap in her memory. Had she been sleeping? Or had she just closed her eyes for a moment? She rolled her eyes around the room; h er plain brown and yellow bedroom. Brown curtains. Sunlight leaking in around its edges, dripping down the wall and pooling on the floor. There was a moment of calm as her brain started up again, no noise or feedback or Mad Haters screaming unholy confessions. No guilt. No remorse.
She looked back at Dorothy, sitting beside her bed beaming at her, beautiful face cocked
It was petty, and he scolded himself for thinking that way. Of course the only thing that mattered was for Alice to get the help she needed to cope with her life. Still, he’d been at this job a long time. It was important, to be on the front lines, working in a hospital for a major city, but it didn’t always let him sink his fingers into his work the way he’d like to. The dismissive attitudes of his peers didn’t really help things any.
Dr Weller sighed. He closed the folder marked Pleasance, Alice and tossed it to the side. He swished his cold coffee, staring down at the reflection in the bottom of the cup. A tired face looked back. Rippled in the coffee. He’d been here too long maybe. He’d bled for this job, and his life had suffered because of it. He’d been held back while his peers had simply climbed around him up the ladder of success.
He’d never married, either. He supposed that had something to do with his present attitude. His funk , as his mom would have said. Boy look at the way your face is dragging on the ground , she’d say. That must be some funk you got there .
It was futile to spend too much time dwelling on this stuff. He knew that. Good Mental Health 101 – don’t dwell too much on the Negative Aspects of Positive Being. Was that a Bad Religion song? Something like that. If he didn’t have the heart for his work anymore, he would have to find new work or else find his heart. He was fast approaching the crested hill marked 50 though, and the sign read Caution: this road is closer to the end of the line than it looks . He was over qualified for anything other than what he was doing right now, and too close to retirement to start thinking of a new career. He supposed he could look at a change of scenery, apply at the Pine Woods Centre himself and take on long term patients. That might be just about as bad, since he’d be the low man on the totem pole and likely would remain that way until he retired.
He drank the swish out of his mug. Rubbed the coffee smell from his moustache and flipped through the Pleasance, Alice folder again. There was something to this girl. Something about the way her switch had gone off. His intuition was telling him there was a story here somewhere.
If only Alice trusted him enough to talk about her life…
Oh but she has , his mother’s voice said. She was ranting about killing someone .
He wasn’t so sure. It may have been all part of the psychotic episode.
What does your heart tell you?
His heart told him nothing. He hadn’t heard from it in a long time. If it wasn’t for the pulse pounding headaches he got from stress, he’d honestly doubt if it was even there anymore.
Chapter 10
When Alice finally opened her eyes again she was greeted with a miserable stiffness running the entire length of her body. She was also greeted with the sweet, smiling face of Dorothy, sitting in a chair beside her bed with a magazine and Toto in her lap.
There was a black gap in her memory. Had she been sleeping? Or had she just closed her eyes for a moment? She rolled her eyes around the room; h er plain brown and yellow bedroom. Brown curtains. Sunlight leaking in around its edges, dripping down the wall and pooling on the floor. There was a moment of calm as her brain started up again, no noise or feedback or Mad Haters screaming unholy confessions. No guilt. No remorse.
She looked back at Dorothy, sitting beside her bed beaming at her, beautiful face cocked
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