Agent of Peace by Jennifer Hobhouse Balme

being in Germany I had became possessed of information that I felt it my duty to convey without delay to the British Government. ‘And what,’ said he, ‘is the character of the information?’ ‘That Mr Duff,’ I replied, ‘is for the British Government.’ He was silenced.
    He said he must wire for instructions. I said, ‘By all means, pray do.’ Then he burst into a fresh and final tirade of anger – very forced and ridiculous to which I replied that I was content to leave it to Sir Edward Grey. I rose and he opened the door for me and amused me by putting both hands behind his back evidently regarding me as pitch – so I put up my hand cheerfully and said, ‘Goodbye Mr Duff,’ and perforce he had to meet it – doing so only with the extreme tips of his fingers and a face expressive of distaste and disdain. I was immensely tickled – the whole thing such a childish farce – and I came away feeling completely conqueror and sure as could be that I should get my pass.
    But I was undoubtedly exhausted.
    I forgot to say that the first thing that morning before going to the Consul I had gone to the German Embassy feeling it my duty to give an account of myself – and because I feared if I did not go there first I might be forbidden later. Having to go by 11 a.m. to the Consulate I had very little time. I did not see von Schubert, but had a half of an hour with von Romberg, whose warning of the mental condition of Mr Duff proved most useful.
    After the Legation I went to lunch and to rest which I needed badly. Frau Kocher and her husband came and with him I made an elaborate scheme of correspondence in case of need. He was, as ever, most thoughtful and kind. I had also help from Gertrude Woker. All this afternoon and the next day I must remain in suspense as to my fate.
    Sunday morning, June 25th I was resting when Gertrude Woker came in to hear the news and tell hers and to promise to care for my papers and documents. I told her my plan of writing also to Dr Aletta Jacobs to tell her of my visit to Berlin and the possibility of a message having to be sent from Londonto Herr von Jagow and that correspondence via Switzerland was so uncertain I thought it better to safeguard matters by arranging to transmit a message also through her if necessary. Of course this necessity would only arise if I succeeded in reaching England – in seeing Sir Edward Grey and in laying my information and message before him. In my ignorance I did not know or realize that Governments, even when at deathgrips, have links through the Red Cross for instance and through neutral Embassies. This I learnt later – at the time I thought of them with an unbridged chasm between them and that for the fulfillment of my mission I must prepare and keep a link. Gertrude fully [agreed] though she knew only the bare outline – I felt I must tell no one in Berne except von Romberg. With all this in mind I had prepared a letter to Aletta Jacobs – very short which I read her and she thought it quite clear. I should, of course, only post it if I were certain of my passports. We parted, and after lunch I went as agreed to 25 Laupen Strasse to spend a quiet afternoon in the beautiful Kocher garden. I was so thankful to be still, and think, and to have my shaken body at rest. It soothed and calmed me. After tea towards 6 o’clock Baron von Romberg called on me there to say goodbye and to hear more in detail of my impressions in Germany. I spoke freely. He was very nice, very cordial and very much moved. He dropped the Ambassador and was purely and only the man. We talked till nearly dusk that midsummer evening. He told me, should my passports be denied me, to rely upon him to help me to Holland, I thanked him and said, ‘I can’t believe they will stop me, I won’tbelieve it.’ He shook hands with warmth and unveiled feeling and left me. He had spoken very freely of Germany