Afterwife by Polly Williams Page B

face in his hands and holds it. “She is somewhere. And she loves you. She loves you so much. But she is not on the earth, not like you and me.”
    It’s a valiant attempt. How would I explain it?
    “Like an angel? A superhero?”
    “An angel.”
    Look, no wings!
    Freddie clenches his jaw. “It’s still
not
fair.”
    “It’s not fair. It’s absolutely not fair.”
    “Why did the bus driver not die? Why Mummy?”
    Ollie’s face darkens. “The bus driver dying would not bring Mummy back, would it?”
    “No,” acknowledges Freddie with heartbreaking forgiveness. I hope he holds on to this gift as he gets older, my sweet soulful boy.
    “It was an accident.”
    Freddie looks unsatisfied. “But…”
    “Bad things sometimes happen to people. Not very often. But they do.”
    “Like when Granny lost her purse in the supermarket.”
    “Worse stuff.”
    “Like what happened to Mummy?”
    “You can be in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
    “Like Jenny.”
    Ollie laughs. “What do you mean?”
    “Jenny looks like she is in the wrong place sometimes.”
    Out of the mouths of babes.
    “You mean she looks sad?” says Ollie, serious now.
    Freddie nods.
    “I think she just misses your mummy, Fred.”
    He spreads his hands in front of the fire and warms them like toast. “Why doesn’t someone kiss Jenny better?”
    Ha! God, I love this boy.
    Ollie smiles softly. “I’m sure Sam kisses her better.”
    Freddie considers this for a moment, wrinkles his nose in distaste. “I’d rather Sam got run over than Jenny.”
    Me too! Bring on the No. 23!
    “Look, Freddie. It’s not an either-or thing. Sam’s not about to get run over. Nor is Jenny.” He bends down and talks close to his ear. “Jen’s here for you.”
    “Like you?”
    “Like me.” Ollie strokes Freddie’s cheek. “I’m not going anywhere, Freddie.”
    “Promise?”
    He gives a military salute. “Scout’s honor.”
    Freddie still looks worried. “So it’s just us two now?”
    “Just us two. We’ll make Mummy proud.”
    And
how
proud!
    Freddie’s forehead knits. There is something bothering him. “I won’t get another mummy?”
    The room vibrates. I freeze on the mantelpiece.
    “Ludo says he now has two mummies,” Freddie continues. “One at home. One with his dad. He doesn’t like it. I don’t think I’d like it either.”
    “It does sound kind of complicated.” A muscle in Ollie’s jaw twitches.
    He’s skirting it! He’s not saying there won’t be another mummy.
    “Anyway, I don’t need another mummy. Jenny can take me swimming.”
    “Fred, no one will ever replace your mummy. I will always love her, and you, more than anyone else in the whole world.”
    That’s better. Almost.
    “Universe?” says Freddie.
    “Galaxy.”
    “Cool,” says Freddie, leaning his head back on Ollie’s shoulder, satisfied at last. Within seconds he is asleep.

Eight
    I want a date, Jen,” Sam said as he walked into the apartment, shaking glittering blobs of rain off his suit onto the polished hardwood surfaces and clamping shut his black golf umbrella.
    “Good idea.” Jenny pushed away her manuscript, happy to be disturbed and to finish work for the day. “Wouldn’t mind going to that new place in Camden Lock. I’m totally starving and there’s no food here, sorry. I’ve been on the phone to Soph’s mum for
hours
…”
    He dumped his briefcase. “Please turn off that crap.”
    “What crap?”
    “The music.”
    “It’s Lonnie Donegan!”
    “Jenny.” He pulled off his tie, grinned. “I’m talking about a date for the wedding.”
    “Wedding?” Jenny froze. Better turn off Lonnie.
    “Or have you forgotten that we are engaged?”
    “No!” It was just that, compared to the death of Sophie, it, like everything else in the universe, had begun to feel almost insignificant,abstract, a date in the diary that wouldn’t happen for a while and could comfortably be ignored in the meantime.
    Hurt flickered over his rain-wet