duties. She made a noncommittal sound and rang off.
I joined Wayne Wong, Parvez and Victoria Louise, who were smoking by the bike sheds in the playground. We had a good laugh about Brain-box Henderson’s shrunken suit, Miss Fossington-Gore’s beard and moustache, and Craig Thomas’s pathetic disco.
Pandora’s silver Saab turned into the car park, scattering gravel. I hurried over to open the driver’s door. She satin the car for a while, brushing her hair and applying lipstick.
I told her that she looked tired.
She said, ‘Gee, thanks.’
She joined the smokers by the bike sheds, saying, ‘I need a fag before I go inside and face the grizzly Fossington-Gore.’
Brain-box Henderson hurried over and advised Pandora to keep her tribute to Miss Fossington-Gore short as they were running late and the caretaker wanted to have the hall cleared by 11.
Pandora said, ‘No probs.’ She stubbed her Benson’s out on a bike rack and we went inside.
‘Sexual Healing’ had drawn people on to the dance floor. There was an excited murmur when Pandora made her entrance, and Roger Patience broke off from fawning over Barry Kent to go forward and greet Pandora, and to formally welcome her back to the school.
Brain-box Henderson hurried to the mobile disco and asked Craig Thomas to turn Marvin Gaye off. He then tapped on the side of a wine glass with a fork and silence fell.
Brain-box then led Pandora, Roger Patience and Miss Fossington-Gore on to the stage, where there was a Formica table on which stood a large gift-wrapped box.
There was a lot of clapping and whistling, and Barry Kent made a yee-haw sound, like a cowboy riding a bucking bronco at a rodeo.
Roger Patience went on about Pandora, telling the audience that she spoke five languages fluently, includingRussian and Mandarin (as if we didn’t know!), that she got a double first at Oxford, that she was the Labour member for Ashby de la Zouch and that she was a junior minister in the Department of the Environment. He said these were all great achievements, but he was sure that Pandora’s greatest triumphs were yet to come – that the
Daily Telegraph
had hinted recently that Pandora could well be Britain’s first woman Labour prime minister – ‘So, Gordon Brown watch out!’
There was polite laughter. Then Pandora, looking magnificent in a tailored Lauren Bacall jacket and what looked like men’s trousers, addressed us. She started, ‘Let me make it absolutely clear that without the guidance and inspirational teaching of Miss Fossington-Gore I would not be here today – at least, not in my capacity as Member of Parliament and Junior Minister. It was Miss Fossington-Gore who said, on hearing of my ambition to be a catwalk model for the House of Balenciaga, “Oh, I’m sure we can do a little better than that, dear.”’
Miss Fossington-Gore bowed her head modestly.
Pandora blabbed on mostly about herself and her achievements for another five minutes. Then she handed the gift-wrapped box to Miss Fossington-Gore and said, ‘I’m sure this will look lovely on your mantelpiece. May the hours and minutes it records of your retirement be precious.’
Miss Fossington-Gore took a small handkerchief from under the cuff of her cardigan suit and said, ‘The class of ’83 was quite remarkable. Not only did it have Pandora Braithwaite, it also had Barry Kent. And let us not forget Adrian Mole, whose TV series,
Offally Good!
, I quiteenjoyed. I would, before I open my present, like to say a few words about Nigel.’ She gestured towards Nigel, who was sitting down with his white stick held in front of him like those old blokes in Greek cafés. ‘Nigel has been terrifically brave since suffering severe sight impairment.’
I looked across at Nigel and saw him swearing under his breath. There was a huge round of applause and stamping and cheering for Nigel’s bravery.
Then Miss Fossington-Gore, who is a vegan and who lives alone in a one-bedroom flat,
I joined Wayne Wong, Parvez and Victoria Louise, who were smoking by the bike sheds in the playground. We had a good laugh about Brain-box Henderson’s shrunken suit, Miss Fossington-Gore’s beard and moustache, and Craig Thomas’s pathetic disco.
Pandora’s silver Saab turned into the car park, scattering gravel. I hurried over to open the driver’s door. She satin the car for a while, brushing her hair and applying lipstick.
I told her that she looked tired.
She said, ‘Gee, thanks.’
She joined the smokers by the bike sheds, saying, ‘I need a fag before I go inside and face the grizzly Fossington-Gore.’
Brain-box Henderson hurried over and advised Pandora to keep her tribute to Miss Fossington-Gore short as they were running late and the caretaker wanted to have the hall cleared by 11.
Pandora said, ‘No probs.’ She stubbed her Benson’s out on a bike rack and we went inside.
‘Sexual Healing’ had drawn people on to the dance floor. There was an excited murmur when Pandora made her entrance, and Roger Patience broke off from fawning over Barry Kent to go forward and greet Pandora, and to formally welcome her back to the school.
Brain-box Henderson hurried to the mobile disco and asked Craig Thomas to turn Marvin Gaye off. He then tapped on the side of a wine glass with a fork and silence fell.
Brain-box then led Pandora, Roger Patience and Miss Fossington-Gore on to the stage, where there was a Formica table on which stood a large gift-wrapped box.
There was a lot of clapping and whistling, and Barry Kent made a yee-haw sound, like a cowboy riding a bucking bronco at a rodeo.
Roger Patience went on about Pandora, telling the audience that she spoke five languages fluently, includingRussian and Mandarin (as if we didn’t know!), that she got a double first at Oxford, that she was the Labour member for Ashby de la Zouch and that she was a junior minister in the Department of the Environment. He said these were all great achievements, but he was sure that Pandora’s greatest triumphs were yet to come – that the
Daily Telegraph
had hinted recently that Pandora could well be Britain’s first woman Labour prime minister – ‘So, Gordon Brown watch out!’
There was polite laughter. Then Pandora, looking magnificent in a tailored Lauren Bacall jacket and what looked like men’s trousers, addressed us. She started, ‘Let me make it absolutely clear that without the guidance and inspirational teaching of Miss Fossington-Gore I would not be here today – at least, not in my capacity as Member of Parliament and Junior Minister. It was Miss Fossington-Gore who said, on hearing of my ambition to be a catwalk model for the House of Balenciaga, “Oh, I’m sure we can do a little better than that, dear.”’
Miss Fossington-Gore bowed her head modestly.
Pandora blabbed on mostly about herself and her achievements for another five minutes. Then she handed the gift-wrapped box to Miss Fossington-Gore and said, ‘I’m sure this will look lovely on your mantelpiece. May the hours and minutes it records of your retirement be precious.’
Miss Fossington-Gore took a small handkerchief from under the cuff of her cardigan suit and said, ‘The class of ’83 was quite remarkable. Not only did it have Pandora Braithwaite, it also had Barry Kent. And let us not forget Adrian Mole, whose TV series,
Offally Good!
, I quiteenjoyed. I would, before I open my present, like to say a few words about Nigel.’ She gestured towards Nigel, who was sitting down with his white stick held in front of him like those old blokes in Greek cafés. ‘Nigel has been terrifically brave since suffering severe sight impairment.’
I looked across at Nigel and saw him swearing under his breath. There was a huge round of applause and stamping and cheering for Nigel’s bravery.
Then Miss Fossington-Gore, who is a vegan and who lives alone in a one-bedroom flat,
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