Pick up, pick up. A recording came on. The Code Enforcement office was closed, the recording said, please call back during nine-to-five business hours.
Even from across the lunchroom, Jennifer could see Adam was in a foul mood. He looked like a character in the comics with three little dots over his head and a black cloud where his thought bubble should be. He’d placed his baritone case on the lunch table in front of him, so it looked like he was sitting behind the Great Wall of China. When Jennifer took a seat across from him, he was totally hidden from view.
“Like some company?” she asked, sliding his baritone case just enough to peek at him.
He didn’t look up. She pulled out a straw, figured hitting him with a spitball might cheer him up, but then thought better of it. “You OK?” she asked.
No response.
“How’s lunch?” she tried.
“I don’t know!” Adam barked. “I can’t tell what it is.”
“Boy, what’s wrong?” she said. “You are in a rotten mood.”
“It’s the Herbs,” he said. “They’re driving me crazy. I hate them! It’s like I’m having an allergic reaction to the Herbs.”
“Well, then don’t eat that stuff; we can split my lunch,” she said. She glanced at his tray. It appeared to be something with noodles, maybe beef goulash supreme. “They overdo the sauce,” said Jennifer. “They coat that stuff in herbs just so they can call it goulash
supreme.
”
Adam picked up his plate, and for a moment, Jennifer thought he might crack it over her head, but instead he wagged it at her. “Not these herbs!” he yelled, noodling his finger through the goulash. “The code enforcement Herbs! The accessory structure Herbs! The 200-52.7A Herbs! The basketball hoop Herbs!”
“Shhh,” she whispered, trying to calm him down. Kids were staring. “I’m sorry,” said Jennifer. “I didn’t know you meant Herbs with a capital
H.
”
“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve called those Herbs with a capital
H
?” said Adam. “I’ll tell you exactly.” He unzipped his backpack and yanked out a piece of paper. Pistachio nutshells went flying everywhere. He held up his tally sheet documenting each attempt to get hold of the Herbs.
“You’re wasting your time,” Jennifer said softly.
“Wasting my time?” said Adam. “Listen, babe-o, this was your story. You’re the one with the lawyer daddy who knows all about zoning . . .”
Babe-o
? thought Jennifer. He was calling her
babe-o
? Normally Jennifer would not take
babe-o
from Adam, but she could see the boy was in pain and she needed to get him back on track. “It’s a great story,” she said. “But we’re not going to get it over the phone. You’re just kidding yourself, making all those calls.”
Adam slumped in his seat like a goulash noodle.
“They’re dodging you,” Jennifer continued. “You think the Herbs want to give notice to every kid in Tremble that the hoops are coming down? They’ll have a riot on their hands. We just have to go to their office in the county building. They’re public officials. We are the public. They have to talk to us. We just have to catch them first. We are going to have to park ourselves in their office until they show up. That’s how Woodward and Bernstein did it.”
“Who’s Woodward Ann Bernstein?” Adam asked glumly.
“Famous investigative reporter team for the
Washington Post,
” said Jennifer. “Their Watergate stories forced Richard Nixon to resign as president.”
“Great,” said Adam. “Only one trouble. I bet they didn’t have before-school/after-school voluntary/mandatory. I bet they’re not in jazz band or Odyssey of the Mind or Geography Challenge or —”
“I know when we can do it,” said Jennifer.
Adam unfolded a thick pack of stapled papers. “Have you looked at this list Mr. Landmass gave us to memorize for the geography tournament?” he asked. “I’m still in the
E
’s. I don’t know where Eritrea is.”
“Northern
Even from across the lunchroom, Jennifer could see Adam was in a foul mood. He looked like a character in the comics with three little dots over his head and a black cloud where his thought bubble should be. He’d placed his baritone case on the lunch table in front of him, so it looked like he was sitting behind the Great Wall of China. When Jennifer took a seat across from him, he was totally hidden from view.
“Like some company?” she asked, sliding his baritone case just enough to peek at him.
He didn’t look up. She pulled out a straw, figured hitting him with a spitball might cheer him up, but then thought better of it. “You OK?” she asked.
No response.
“How’s lunch?” she tried.
“I don’t know!” Adam barked. “I can’t tell what it is.”
“Boy, what’s wrong?” she said. “You are in a rotten mood.”
“It’s the Herbs,” he said. “They’re driving me crazy. I hate them! It’s like I’m having an allergic reaction to the Herbs.”
“Well, then don’t eat that stuff; we can split my lunch,” she said. She glanced at his tray. It appeared to be something with noodles, maybe beef goulash supreme. “They overdo the sauce,” said Jennifer. “They coat that stuff in herbs just so they can call it goulash
supreme.
”
Adam picked up his plate, and for a moment, Jennifer thought he might crack it over her head, but instead he wagged it at her. “Not these herbs!” he yelled, noodling his finger through the goulash. “The code enforcement Herbs! The accessory structure Herbs! The 200-52.7A Herbs! The basketball hoop Herbs!”
“Shhh,” she whispered, trying to calm him down. Kids were staring. “I’m sorry,” said Jennifer. “I didn’t know you meant Herbs with a capital
H.
”
“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve called those Herbs with a capital
H
?” said Adam. “I’ll tell you exactly.” He unzipped his backpack and yanked out a piece of paper. Pistachio nutshells went flying everywhere. He held up his tally sheet documenting each attempt to get hold of the Herbs.
“You’re wasting your time,” Jennifer said softly.
“Wasting my time?” said Adam. “Listen, babe-o, this was your story. You’re the one with the lawyer daddy who knows all about zoning . . .”
Babe-o
? thought Jennifer. He was calling her
babe-o
? Normally Jennifer would not take
babe-o
from Adam, but she could see the boy was in pain and she needed to get him back on track. “It’s a great story,” she said. “But we’re not going to get it over the phone. You’re just kidding yourself, making all those calls.”
Adam slumped in his seat like a goulash noodle.
“They’re dodging you,” Jennifer continued. “You think the Herbs want to give notice to every kid in Tremble that the hoops are coming down? They’ll have a riot on their hands. We just have to go to their office in the county building. They’re public officials. We are the public. They have to talk to us. We just have to catch them first. We are going to have to park ourselves in their office until they show up. That’s how Woodward and Bernstein did it.”
“Who’s Woodward Ann Bernstein?” Adam asked glumly.
“Famous investigative reporter team for the
Washington Post,
” said Jennifer. “Their Watergate stories forced Richard Nixon to resign as president.”
“Great,” said Adam. “Only one trouble. I bet they didn’t have before-school/after-school voluntary/mandatory. I bet they’re not in jazz band or Odyssey of the Mind or Geography Challenge or —”
“I know when we can do it,” said Jennifer.
Adam unfolded a thick pack of stapled papers. “Have you looked at this list Mr. Landmass gave us to memorize for the geography tournament?” he asked. “I’m still in the
E
’s. I don’t know where Eritrea is.”
“Northern
Similar Books
