me,” Alex answered.
That answer made no sense at all. Alex could only wonder if it was the right one.
Chapter Ten
Alex was sitting in her living room on Saturday night with the Denver Nuggets basketball game on the television, the sound muted. She had a book in her hand, but she was not paying much attention to either the game or the reading. Her phone rang, surprising her.
“Hi,” Nicole said. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”
“It’s only nine forty-five. Not even I go to sleep that early.”
“You have been,” Nicole countered.
“Going to bed, yes,” Alex admitted. “Not sleeping. Are you calling to recap the date?”
“I am, actually. How high school is that?”
“Pretty close. Want to tell me what you wore?”
“Oh, stop it.”
“Is Charlie asleep?”
“Crashed out like a toddler. It’s been a carbohydrate-filled afternoon, between popcorn and soda at the game and pizza after that.”
“You sound wiped out yourself.”
“A little bit. It was mostly the strain of being on a date, something I haven’t done, by my calculation, for a good sixteen years.”
“How much did it feel like a date, given that you had a ten-and twelve-year-old with you?”
“Not very,” Nicole admitted. “But that was mostly because of Bill. It felt a lot more like a family outing, if you know what I mean.”
“Not entirely. Did you have a chance to talk?”
“More than you’d think. Fortunately, the boys got along very well. Bill’s son Drew was nice to Charlie, and I think my son has a serious case of hero worship. A sixth grader seems very grown up to him.”
“It’s funny,” Alex said, “how much difference a year or two makes at that age. Any age difference less than a decade now feels like nothing.”
Neither of them mentioned that CJ had been seven years younger than Alex. Nicole said, “Bill was very laid-back about it all. But the best part was that we got to talk about things other than work and our kids. Really, you have no idea how wonderful it was to discuss a book other than Peter Pan .”
Alex’s heart ached for her sister. Alex had tried so hard her whole life to protect Nicole, and she’d been unable to shield her from the worst heartache of all.
“Sounds promising,” she said.
“Early days. But he is very nice, and we do have some things in common.”
“So,” Alex whispered, “did you get a kiss goodnight?”
“You are bad. Yes, a very chaste one on the cheek. But we did agree to go out again, without Charlie and Drew this time.”
“Even more promising.”
Nicole was quiet a moment, then asked, “Alex, do you think it’s too soon?”
“Honestly, Nic, the only question that matters is whether you think it’s too soon. Does it feel wrong?”
Her sister’s sigh came clearly over the phone line. “No. I kept spending the whole afternoon wondering when I would be stricken with guilt over David, but I just felt sad. I just hate it that he won’t be here to see Charlie grow up. It’s so goddamned unfair.”
“Yes,” Alex could only agree. “It’s goddamned unfair.”
“Anyway, it was a nice afternoon, and Charlie enjoyed it. So we’ll see how it goes.”
Moving on, Alex thought. Vivien, Charlie, Nicole, other people were taking up their lives again, slowly recovering. Was she recovering?
As she brushed her teeth she looked at herself in the mirror, something she had avoided the last few months. She looked thin, not in a healthy, lean way, but in a “not eating well” sort of way. She’d actually been getting up earlier to go running on the weekday mornings, and taking longer runs on Saturday and Sunday.
Usually CJ had gone running with her on weekends, and as a result the runs were actually shorter, more relaxed. Often CJ would lure her back into bed. It had been one of their favorite times to talk, touch, make love.
Alex snapped off the bathroom lights so she didn’t have to look at her face anymore, the skin stretched high over her sharp
That answer made no sense at all. Alex could only wonder if it was the right one.
Chapter Ten
Alex was sitting in her living room on Saturday night with the Denver Nuggets basketball game on the television, the sound muted. She had a book in her hand, but she was not paying much attention to either the game or the reading. Her phone rang, surprising her.
“Hi,” Nicole said. “I didn’t wake you up, did I?”
“It’s only nine forty-five. Not even I go to sleep that early.”
“You have been,” Nicole countered.
“Going to bed, yes,” Alex admitted. “Not sleeping. Are you calling to recap the date?”
“I am, actually. How high school is that?”
“Pretty close. Want to tell me what you wore?”
“Oh, stop it.”
“Is Charlie asleep?”
“Crashed out like a toddler. It’s been a carbohydrate-filled afternoon, between popcorn and soda at the game and pizza after that.”
“You sound wiped out yourself.”
“A little bit. It was mostly the strain of being on a date, something I haven’t done, by my calculation, for a good sixteen years.”
“How much did it feel like a date, given that you had a ten-and twelve-year-old with you?”
“Not very,” Nicole admitted. “But that was mostly because of Bill. It felt a lot more like a family outing, if you know what I mean.”
“Not entirely. Did you have a chance to talk?”
“More than you’d think. Fortunately, the boys got along very well. Bill’s son Drew was nice to Charlie, and I think my son has a serious case of hero worship. A sixth grader seems very grown up to him.”
“It’s funny,” Alex said, “how much difference a year or two makes at that age. Any age difference less than a decade now feels like nothing.”
Neither of them mentioned that CJ had been seven years younger than Alex. Nicole said, “Bill was very laid-back about it all. But the best part was that we got to talk about things other than work and our kids. Really, you have no idea how wonderful it was to discuss a book other than Peter Pan .”
Alex’s heart ached for her sister. Alex had tried so hard her whole life to protect Nicole, and she’d been unable to shield her from the worst heartache of all.
“Sounds promising,” she said.
“Early days. But he is very nice, and we do have some things in common.”
“So,” Alex whispered, “did you get a kiss goodnight?”
“You are bad. Yes, a very chaste one on the cheek. But we did agree to go out again, without Charlie and Drew this time.”
“Even more promising.”
Nicole was quiet a moment, then asked, “Alex, do you think it’s too soon?”
“Honestly, Nic, the only question that matters is whether you think it’s too soon. Does it feel wrong?”
Her sister’s sigh came clearly over the phone line. “No. I kept spending the whole afternoon wondering when I would be stricken with guilt over David, but I just felt sad. I just hate it that he won’t be here to see Charlie grow up. It’s so goddamned unfair.”
“Yes,” Alex could only agree. “It’s goddamned unfair.”
“Anyway, it was a nice afternoon, and Charlie enjoyed it. So we’ll see how it goes.”
Moving on, Alex thought. Vivien, Charlie, Nicole, other people were taking up their lives again, slowly recovering. Was she recovering?
As she brushed her teeth she looked at herself in the mirror, something she had avoided the last few months. She looked thin, not in a healthy, lean way, but in a “not eating well” sort of way. She’d actually been getting up earlier to go running on the weekday mornings, and taking longer runs on Saturday and Sunday.
Usually CJ had gone running with her on weekends, and as a result the runs were actually shorter, more relaxed. Often CJ would lure her back into bed. It had been one of their favorite times to talk, touch, make love.
Alex snapped off the bathroom lights so she didn’t have to look at her face anymore, the skin stretched high over her sharp
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