Absence of the Hero by Charles Bukowski, Edited with an introduction by David Calonne Page B

whispered Jerri.
    Then I made it, we made it.
    I used the sheet and then got out of bed. I sat in the chair as Jerri went to the bathroom and came back. I sat in the chair for some time, drinking beer and wine and smoking. I was the 63-cent lover of the Suicide Hotel. Maybe it was better not being a duck. I thought again about that poor guy floating down past my window, then I had a drink to him and walked over to Deedee’s bed. The springs on Deedee’s bed were soundless. Deedee was short, but juicy, you might say. She was energetic, always walking about, laughing, cussing; she wasn’t too brainy but she was honest and funny, and like I said, juicy. That’s what you thought when you looked at Deedee: juicy, ripe, ripe, overripe. I simply got into bed with Deedee and plunged straight in. She didn’t protest at all. She lifted her legs and reached up and kissed me, her tongue working in and out. She didn’t let go. Her tongue worked in rhythm with my penis. It was a good one. I rolled off, used the sheet, then sat in the chair as Deedee went to the bathroom.
    The 63-cent lover of the Suicide Hotel. Deedee walked on by going back to bed. I decided that it had been a fair night. I drank a half a bottle of wine, 3 cans of beer, and walked over to the couch and climbed in with May. I was ready to sleep it off.
    May reached out and grabbed me. She had a good hold of me, and I mean me.
    â€œUnhand me, woman,” I said.
    â€œI’m burning up,” she said,” “I’ve just got to have it.”
    â€œNot tonight.”
    â€œWhy? Why?”
    â€œI’m tired. I don’t know, I’m just very tired.”
    â€œBut it’s getting bigger.”
    â€œBelieve me, it doesn’t mean a thing.”
    â€œBut it must. Why does it do that?”
    â€œNo brains, I guess.”
    â€œI’ve got to have it! I’m burning up, I tell you!”
    â€œI can’t.”
    â€œWhy not?”
    â€œDamn it, I’m not a machine! Don’t you understand?”
    â€œNo!”
    May bent down and put her mouth upon me. I couldn’t resist. It must have lasted 20 minutes, then she smoked it out of me. I was really finished.
    I awakened the next morning, alone on the couch. The girls were in the kitchen, talking and laughing. I listened.
    â€œOh, Jerri, I just love that new hat! Doesn’t she look sweet in that new hat? Put it on again, Jerri! Don’t you like it, Deedee?”
    â€œYes, it brings everything out in her. It’s darling, a darling little hat!”
    I got into some clothes and walked into the kitchen.
    â€œThere he is!”
    â€œHi, Hank!”
    â€œHello, girls.”
    â€œHow do you feel?”
    â€œOh, I don’t know. A bit weary, I guess.”
    â€œCare for some coffee?”
    â€œO.K.”
    â€œBreakfast?”
    â€œHell, no.”
    â€œHow do you like Jerri’s new hat? Put it on again, Jerri.”
    â€œIt really makes her look sexy,” I said.
    â€œOh, you men! I think it brings out the features of her face.”
    â€œI think it brings out the features of her ass.”
    â€œHank, do you have to be nasty?”
    â€œSorry. Bad head. Yes, she looks nice in the hat. Green’s her color . Her eyes are green, and with all that red hair, it works. O.K.?”
    â€œThat’s more like my nice daddy,” said May.
    I got down a can of beer and then May made breakfast for us all. The girls just chatted back and forth. They each had on different dresses than the night before, and they looked scrubbed and untouched; they glowed.
    â€œWhy don’t you girls stay another night?” I asked.
    â€œWhat do you think, May?” asked Jerri.
    â€œI’d love it. Why don’t you?”
    â€œO.K., then, we will.”
    I smiled and lit a cigarette. Then I leaned back and blew out a large and perfect smoke ring. It floated toward the ceiling.
    The girls applauded and the world was