Aberrant by Ruth Silver

who,"
I paused, stopping to stand in front of him. "As long as it's not
you." I let the words hang in the air as I gauged his expression. He
seemed more than slightly taken aback by the news. "They think if I chose
you it would only help the government's cause, because the government chose the
match."
    "You're not going through with it, are you?" He
stood up, his gaze refused to waver.
    "How can I not?" I threw my arms up in the air,
frustrated. To the best of my knowledge, I had nowhere else to go. "I have
three years to decide. Three years to come up with another solution or
leave," my voice faltered. "This place could actually be my home,"
I told him seriously. "I like it here. Everyone seems nice enough."
    Joshua sighed. "How can you say that when they're
demanding you have a child with one of them!" He nearly wore a hole in the
rug, growing more irritated with each passing second. His hands were balled in
fists at his sides as he tried to hold the raging anger inside.
    I sat down on the side of the mattress, my feet dangled over
the edge, grazing the floor. "Well, they're giving me time to choose. In a
few weeks they'll make arrangements for me to meet some men, get to know
them." I glanced towards the window. This conversation went beyond
awkward. I knew Joshua didn't want to hear any of it. "This wasn't my
idea, Josh. What other choice do I have? Maybe I can make a difference. Maybe
it's time I grow up," unsure I could even convince myself in saying it.
    "What happens if you don't choose someone in three
years?" He stopped walking and stared at me again, the slightest bit of
hope forming in his eyes.
    "They'll choose for me." I sighed, glancing down
at my hands in my lap. "They made it perfectly clear. It's better I do
this. Follow their rules. Maybe it won't be so bad." It felt terrible.
    Joshua shook his head, repulsed. "Why didn't you tell
me sooner?" he demanded.
    I shot him a glare. "I came by your room to tell you,
but you had company. After that it didn't really seem important."
    Joshua looked sheepish. "Her name’s Rane, and I swear
to you, she doesn't mean anything to me." He paused thinking it over.
"I wonder if that's why she insisted on helping me study. Do you think the
council put her up to it?" He waited for my answer.
    I nodded faintly. "It's possible." Perhaps she'd
been sent to distract him from any thoughts he had of me. Or maybe they foresaw
an argument with the intention of tearing us apart.
    "Mind if I–" He didn't finish the sentence as he
came to sit down beside me on the mattress. His eyes landed on the book I left
open when he came by my room. "Have you been reading the history
texts?"
    "I read about the history of Cabal. Also a little about
the Red Plague." I studied his face and could see dark circles beneath his
eyes. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I couldn't bring myself to do
it. Not after he hurt me.
    He fingered through the book on my bed – the one I'd barely
touched. It took him only a minute to find the page he was searching for. His
shoulders hunched forward, the muscles straining against his metal gray shirt.
I realized he was dressed in a t-shirt, black jeans and barefoot. He looked
comfortable, like he fitted into Haven even with the mess we'd found ourselves
in. I couldn't remember seeing him outside of a school uniform, except recently
at our marriage ceremony. Now though, something else about the way he looked held
my stare. I couldn't take my eyes off him and couldn’t pinpoint what it was. He
didn’t seem to notice.
    "I read about the Red Plague, too," he explained. "I'm
beginning to think there's more than just a history lesson in that book."
I gave him a look, urging him to elaborate, and he continued. "If the
vaccine truly caused infertility, then how is it then – even in a lab – the
government can create a child?"
    "I don't know." I frowned. "Maybe they bypass
something that's broken inside?" I was never very good at science. It
didn't help that our