A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Vile Village by Lemony Snicket

so brightly colored that it made the Baudelaires squint, and a pair of silver pants decorated with tiny mirrors that glinted in the morning sun. A pair of enormous sunglasses covered the entire upper half of his face, hiding his one eyebrow and his shiny, shiny eyes. On his feet were a pair of bright green plastic shoes with yellow plastic lightning bolts sticking out of them, covering his ankle and hiding his tattoo. But most unpleasant of all was the fact that Olaf was wearing no shirt, only a thick gold chain with a detective's badge in the center of it. The Baudelaires could see his pale and hairy chest peeking out at them, and it added an extra layer of unpleasantness to their fear. "It's just not cool," Count Olaf said, snapping his fingers to emphasize the word "cool", "to dismiss suspects from the scene of the crime until Detective Dupin gives the O.K." "But surely the orphans aren't suspects " one of the Elders said. "They're only children after all." "It's just not cool," Count Olaf said, snapping his fingers again, "to disagree with Detective Dupin." "I agree," Officer Luciana said, and gave Olaf a big lipstick smile as he stepped through the doorway. "Now let's get down to business, Dupin. Do you have any important information?" "We have some important information," Klaus said boldly. "This man is not Detective Dupin." There were a few gasps from the crowd. "He's Count Olaf." "You mean Count Omar," Mrs. Morrow said. "We mean Olaf, " Violet said, and then turned so that she was looking Count Olaf right in the sunglasses. "Those sunglasses may be hiding your eyebrow, and those shoes may be hiding your tattoo, but you can't hide your identity. You're Count Olaf, and you've kidnapped the Quagmire triplets and murdered Jacques." "Who in the world is Jacques?" asked an Elder. "I'm confused." "It's not cool," Olaf said with a snap, "to be confused, so let me see if I can help you." He pointed at himself with a flourish. "I am the famous Detective Dupin. I am wearing these plastic shoes and sunglasses because they're cool. Count Olaf is the name of the man who was murdered last night, and these three children ...", here Olaf paused to make sure everyone was listening, "are responsible for the crime." "Don't be ridiculous, Olaf," Klaus said disgustedly. Olaf smiled nastily at all three Baudelaires. "You are making a mistake when you call me Count Olaf," he said, "and if you continue to call me that, you will see exactly how big a mistake you are making." Detective Dupin turned and looked up to address the crowd. "Of course the biggest mistake these children have made is thinking they can get away with murder." There was a murmur of agreement from the crowd. "I never trusted those kids," Mrs. Morrow said. "They didn't do a very good job when they trimmed my hedges." "Show them the evidence," Officer Luciana said, and Detective Dupin snapped his fingers. "It's not cool," he said, "to accuse people of murder without any evidence, but luckily I found some." He reached into the pocket of his blazer and brought out a long pink ribbon decorated with plastic daisies. "I found this right outside Count Olaf's jail cell," he said. "It's a ribbon, the exact kind of ribbon that Violet Baudelaire uses to tie up her hair." The townspeople gasped, and Violet turned to see that the citizens of V.F.D. were looking at her with suspicion and fear, which are not pleasant ways to be looked at. "That's not my ribbon!" Violet cried, taking her own hair ribbon of her pocket. "My hair ribbon is right here!" "How can we tell?" an Elder asked with a frown. "All hair ribbons look alike." "They don't look alike!" Klaus said. "The one found at the murder scene is fancy and pink. My sister prefers plain ribbons, and she hates the color pink!" "And inside the cell," Detective Dupin continued, as if Klaus had not spoken, "I found this." He held up a small circle made of glass. "This is one of the lenses in Klaus's glasses." "But my glasses aren't missing