them,but I was not taking relationship advice from Philippa Penrose. We were about as different as we could be on that score. Phil would say that she was independent, but actually she just liked it too much out there, in the game. Phil didn’t lust after motherhood or marriage and there was a freedom for her in that, which, damn it, I envied. I used to think that as soon as the right guy, with the right body and the right salary, came along, Phil was as good as cooked, but she was showing no signs of slowing down and I wasn’t sure that there was a man on the planet who could reel her in now.
‘You’ll get back on your feet,’ she continued, ‘get yourself your own car. Then you’ll start looking at finding a place of your own, your own furniture instead of all that artsy glass shit The Snake likes, and then you’ll be all set. You know what comes after your own place, right?’ she asked, feeding the wheel through her hands as she made the left onto the lane.
‘Gin? Cats? Pot Noodles for one?’ I asked huffily.
Phil’s mobile began buzzing from the back seat. She ignored it. ‘Shagging. That’s what comes next, Ame. Good, raw, noisy shagging that gets your heart pumping and your toes curling.’
I was beginning to will away this car journey. Arriving at the mill was actually starting to look like the rosier option.
‘Probably
the
last thing on my mind right now, Phil.’ James had said that it had been the last thing on mymind for months. Probably more months than I’d realised. There was a time we couldn’t leave each other alone long enough to eat regularly.
‘Then you need to get back in the saddle, hon. Plenty more fish, and all that.’
Nope, I was wrong. Sex wasn’t the last thing on my mind. The prospect of ever sitting at a bar making small talk with a stranger was the last thing on my mind. ‘And how does that go, Phil? Meeting new
fish
. Remind me.’
Phil glanced over at me suspiciously. ‘Drinks, conversation …
fun
.’ She said
fun
as if she was teaching me how to pronounce a foreign word.
‘Fun,’ I mimicked. ‘Sorry, but I’m out of practice.’
‘It’s just dating, Ame. It hasn’t changed much since the last time you did it. Think of it as riding a bike. You meet a guy, have a few drinks, tell him a bit about yourself …’
‘Ha! Oh yes, Phil … I can just imagine how much fun that would be.
Hi, my name’s Amy, I’m twenty-nine, I’m a Pisces and five years ago I had a hysterectomy. Were you planning on ever having children of your own? Mine’s a voddy and diet coke
.’
Phil wriggled back into her shoulders a little. ‘Wow. It really has been a while since you last rode that bike.’
‘The last time I rode
that bike
, Phil, it had more working parts.’
Her eyebrows rose above the rim of her glasses. ‘Maybe forget the conversation, just keep it to drinks and fun,’ she said sarcastically.
‘And what would be the point of that, Phil? It would have to come up at some stage.’
‘On a first date?’ she questioned. ‘Jeez, couldn’t you just aim for the usual tonsil tennis and awkward dancing?’
‘It’s false advertising, Phil! I think a guy has a right to know
before
he starts shelling out for drinks that his
bun
will never rise in my
oven!
I mean, it’s kind of a big deal when you’re shopping for a sodding life partner.’
My voice was climbing, but the set of Phil’s lips instantly made me regret opening mine.
‘Not every bloke you meet is going to want kids, Ame,’ she said calmly.
‘I want kids, Phil! I want them!
Okay
? And at some point in the next couple of weeks,
The Snake
and I are going to be told how, and maybe even when, that’s going to happen! And unless I catch him and Sadie at it in the boardroom again, I don’t want to hear about the perks of singledom, or dating or sodding
bikes
, all right?’
I didn’t look at what she was doing with her lips now. Welding them shut, hopefully. The car fell into silence for a few
‘You’ll get back on your feet,’ she continued, ‘get yourself your own car. Then you’ll start looking at finding a place of your own, your own furniture instead of all that artsy glass shit The Snake likes, and then you’ll be all set. You know what comes after your own place, right?’ she asked, feeding the wheel through her hands as she made the left onto the lane.
‘Gin? Cats? Pot Noodles for one?’ I asked huffily.
Phil’s mobile began buzzing from the back seat. She ignored it. ‘Shagging. That’s what comes next, Ame. Good, raw, noisy shagging that gets your heart pumping and your toes curling.’
I was beginning to will away this car journey. Arriving at the mill was actually starting to look like the rosier option.
‘Probably
the
last thing on my mind right now, Phil.’ James had said that it had been the last thing on mymind for months. Probably more months than I’d realised. There was a time we couldn’t leave each other alone long enough to eat regularly.
‘Then you need to get back in the saddle, hon. Plenty more fish, and all that.’
Nope, I was wrong. Sex wasn’t the last thing on my mind. The prospect of ever sitting at a bar making small talk with a stranger was the last thing on my mind. ‘And how does that go, Phil? Meeting new
fish
. Remind me.’
Phil glanced over at me suspiciously. ‘Drinks, conversation …
fun
.’ She said
fun
as if she was teaching me how to pronounce a foreign word.
‘Fun,’ I mimicked. ‘Sorry, but I’m out of practice.’
‘It’s just dating, Ame. It hasn’t changed much since the last time you did it. Think of it as riding a bike. You meet a guy, have a few drinks, tell him a bit about yourself …’
‘Ha! Oh yes, Phil … I can just imagine how much fun that would be.
Hi, my name’s Amy, I’m twenty-nine, I’m a Pisces and five years ago I had a hysterectomy. Were you planning on ever having children of your own? Mine’s a voddy and diet coke
.’
Phil wriggled back into her shoulders a little. ‘Wow. It really has been a while since you last rode that bike.’
‘The last time I rode
that bike
, Phil, it had more working parts.’
Her eyebrows rose above the rim of her glasses. ‘Maybe forget the conversation, just keep it to drinks and fun,’ she said sarcastically.
‘And what would be the point of that, Phil? It would have to come up at some stage.’
‘On a first date?’ she questioned. ‘Jeez, couldn’t you just aim for the usual tonsil tennis and awkward dancing?’
‘It’s false advertising, Phil! I think a guy has a right to know
before
he starts shelling out for drinks that his
bun
will never rise in my
oven!
I mean, it’s kind of a big deal when you’re shopping for a sodding life partner.’
My voice was climbing, but the set of Phil’s lips instantly made me regret opening mine.
‘Not every bloke you meet is going to want kids, Ame,’ she said calmly.
‘I want kids, Phil! I want them!
Okay
? And at some point in the next couple of weeks,
The Snake
and I are going to be told how, and maybe even when, that’s going to happen! And unless I catch him and Sadie at it in the boardroom again, I don’t want to hear about the perks of singledom, or dating or sodding
bikes
, all right?’
I didn’t look at what she was doing with her lips now. Welding them shut, hopefully. The car fell into silence for a few
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